...too much...

Okay here it is Thursday, and in the last two days I have potentially got a job opening, realized the scandalous nature of McDonald's, stared down like eight guys and tried to go on a date with this chick named TJ. Oh yeah add to that turned in yet another paper and took a midterm, and you can see why I've been keeping on the low pretty much over the last few days. I'm sitting here wondering how is it possible that you can look at someone and just totally lust after them and they not know? Why can't symptoms be soo much more obvious? I keep looking around here just thinking to myself that it's so wrong. The human mind is a tortous device. Dammit! I hate this. I hate the fact that you can never be really direct with people. You can never tell them precisely what you feel, because YOU don't even KNOW how you feel. It's so wrong.

In British Literature we discussed about how virgins, (both male and female) were considered the highest form closest to God in the old days. God, how far we have fallen. Nowadays, if you're a virgin, you're considered pathetic and weak and of the fallen lineage, not of the holy one. The holy people are those who give the best blow job, can ride the best dick and so on. And those who haven't quite achieve the level of the divine porn star status can still be considered among the ranks of the elite because they're working their way up the chain.

Those who are so impartial to the idea of intimacy, don't realize what a gift they have been granted. There are so many things worse than they realize. Just to touch someone, to hold them is something that some people would die for. Yet it's thrown so freely here. America. The land of whores both male, female and transvestite.

I Guess I'll Die Another Day....It's Not My Time to Go

Well it has occured to me that yet another day has flown past. I think it's funny how when you think of something that's so far away, it seems like it will take forever to reach you, and you feel as though nothing is going to happen until you get there. Take for example when I first arrived in college, that was nearly two years ago now, and look where I am now, and I'm thinking that time really is moving too fast. I'm another year older, and I'm currently growing older as I type, and it just makes me think that perhaps we really don't know what we have going for us. I was just outside talking with a good teacher/friend of mine who informed me that she thought it was crazy to declare two major/minors at this school at one time. I told her that the big break was the fact that I'd have two pieces of paper on my wall instead of one, and she simply looked and smiled.

I know that in the back of her mind she was thinking that I'm all talk, and that's what many college students say when their own their way to creating what kind of life they want to live. But in my opinion, why is it so hard for others to accept something that you want to do? What if, in the farthest stretch of the imagination, that I'd actually chose to get my two degrees? Would it be that hard to concieve? Surely not, because plenty others before me have done what I am trying to do and succeeded at it. But then why is it so hard for people to grasp the concept of what I'm trying to do? What if...follow me on this, what if people actually worked for what they wanted and it came true? What if there wasn't all of this polictical and economical shit in the way and what we wanted we worked for and got, and that was the end of it? I grow weary of the concept that what you want will only remain that way, until something supernatural comes to replace it. I'm thinking in terms of a new time. The time of now. But now anyway, before I completely disappear into a starving rant, I got one of my papers back in Brit Lit today.

And got a hundred to my surprise and delight. It's just the first step towards a long and tedious time frame, ending in the A that I want in that course. Jessica is supposed to be coming tonight, so I wonder if I'll get to see her before she vanishes again. And the best part about this is, I get paid tomorrow. Of course, all my money is going to disappear before I'm able to see it, but still it's a lovely thought just the same.

Later.

An Idle Mind is the Devil's Playground pt. 1

Oh wow. So it's like 9:40pm right now, and I have an entire story of Beowulf left to finish and a paper to write about it, and I haven't done any real work as of yet. I've been totally and utterly hooked on MySpace, and I'm convinced this place has some sort of evil demonic power that it exudes over it's victims calling them back here on a daily basis. I'm sure that when I go to sleep tonight, I'll be seeing all kinds of screenames and the sort in my head. But in truth, I like this place a lot.

I got a good chance to actually go and search around and give myself time to breathe. And what I found out there is quite amazing. I even emailed quite a few ladies and gents, and hopefully I'll be getting some responses back within the next few days or whatnot. Some of the pictures out there are utterly breathtaking, while others are...let's just keep it friendly. Anyway, I suppose I should be working on Hrothgar and his men in their castle, but in truth, I'd rather be back out there searching for more people to connect with. I suppose I have to be a crackfiend and tear myself away from the site long enough to get some work done and go to sleep. Otherwise, I'll show up to Mr. Bourquin's class tomorrow looking like an undead zombie. And of course, we don't wanna disappoint that man. Speaking of which, now's a good time to describe precisely what went down the other day when I went into his class.

We were just chilling out waiting for him to show up and whatnot when suddenly, I'm thinking to myself what I've heard about the man, and I'm thinking that he's going to be like some seventy year old geezer that doesn't know what the hell he's talking about (aka Ms. Russell) and all that, and I was truly dreading the class and all that good stuff. When suddenly in the middle of my thoughts, this man comes through the door and totally just blows everyone away. He looked like he was lifted right off the cover of playgirl magazine. 6'4, 200, very built, very muscular, Colgate smile with perfect hair, it was ridiculous. And in that instant, the girl behind me some crazy bitch named Julie just gasped and vocalized what everyone else in the class was thinking at the same time. I mean, this guy was gorgeous! And that doesn't describe the true magnitude of what I'm saying. Only a picture could do justice, and I'm not sure I can get one. But I'll definately have to work on it. And then we went from GQ magazine to Lord of the Rings with Professor Ladd's class. He's a really good teacher, but he's completely absorbed with his studies. And he's making us do entirely too much work. But then again, *sigh* it's the work of a English major, I suppose. And tomorrow my best girlfriend, Jessica is returning for one night, but I doubt I'll be able to see her, because I'm seriously trying to sleep for my classes which are everyday. Hopefully it will work out. I suppose now I'll go and work now. Till tomorrow.