Friday, 25 August 2006
To the Most Fabulous Queer Ever. R.I.P. Travis...
Wow. I just can't talk right now. Can't talk, can't think, can barely breathe right now. I was just informed two hours ago that Doctor Travis Stockley my favorite professor in all of Pembroke was killed in a horrible car crash when he dosed off on his medicine while driving as his car slid under the wheels of an 18 wheeler truck was crushed to pieces. I can't believe this. I don't really wanna dwell on it right now. This is the 2nd death I've ever dealt with. And I'm thoroughly tripping. I owe him everything. Absolutely everything. Without him I wouldn't be here on this campus. So Travis I will always remember you and I will never forget.you as long as I live. You were the greatest and most fabulous queer ever and when others were too afraid to do anything at all you were the best. I will truly TRULY always miss you. Much love. D'Arcee.
Thursday, 24 August 2006
The Hunt Begins...
No not for food really. There's a few meanings to this little sentiment mainly in the way of the old, old supervillans that just seemed to make their way back into my life. You know it's funny. Honestly I swore I would never, ever ever see these people ever again so long as I were to live, but as the Fates decide, we are their slaves and nothing we can do can stop them from beating us to a pulp. That's right. The last two people on earth that I ever wanted to see mainly a certain Mister Phi Kappa Tau, and a former SGA President, of which I would take great personal pleasure from seeing them bleed on the street have suddenly both returned into my view in less than a 24 hour period. It started when I was coming down the hall minding my own business, when out of the great blue yonder he turns around a low and behold I saw a demon rise from the great pit of fire known as the lie, and I saw his face and his eyes only for a moment before in a quick recollection of extreme hatred moved past with nothing more than a chill and shudder down my spine. The other spineless creature that graces this planet happened to be sitting down conversing with a few acquaintances I recollected from a summer past when the final tension between us snapped. There he was, recollecting and revising over and over when I noticed him while conversing with my own semi-acquaintance, and had to stop mid-sentence for the unbelievable truth that there he was in human flesh devoid of all innocence and dignity in front of me. I wanted to puke right then.
In other news, classes are good, I've suddenly seen myself dragged into a choir class that is directed and produced by none other than Jaeyoon Kim, who after a fierce battle with the powers that be in the music department, is now my current voice teacher again. So that's that. Speaking of production, the Fire and Ice Show is gonna be starting soon since the green light was given in preparation for the reality TV show that will be aired this fall at the school. So that should be fun. And I rekindled some old flames when I returned to the 10% Society meeting tonight to see what has become of this haphazard group thrown together. It seems they're doing quite well almost well enough to make me feel like a third wheel when it was my original attempt that revive the group to what it is now. But nevertheless I'm happy for them and I hope they keep growing. We've got some big plans this semester, some of which I don't know how the campus will take to, but hey like Chris said this evening, "If we don't get out there and do shit like this now, they're never take us seriously." So yeah I guess.
This morning I got to become a royal pincushion as I attempted to go and take the HIV test they were offering here at the school only to be sorely disappointed and discover after seven stabs of the needle that the veins rolled and collapsed. So we shall have to wait another two weeks until a new available schedule comes into view. In other words, my OTHER test results come back tomorrow. So I shall see what the Fates have in store for me this time.....until next time. Oríva.
In other news, classes are good, I've suddenly seen myself dragged into a choir class that is directed and produced by none other than Jaeyoon Kim, who after a fierce battle with the powers that be in the music department, is now my current voice teacher again. So that's that. Speaking of production, the Fire and Ice Show is gonna be starting soon since the green light was given in preparation for the reality TV show that will be aired this fall at the school. So that should be fun. And I rekindled some old flames when I returned to the 10% Society meeting tonight to see what has become of this haphazard group thrown together. It seems they're doing quite well almost well enough to make me feel like a third wheel when it was my original attempt that revive the group to what it is now. But nevertheless I'm happy for them and I hope they keep growing. We've got some big plans this semester, some of which I don't know how the campus will take to, but hey like Chris said this evening, "If we don't get out there and do shit like this now, they're never take us seriously." So yeah I guess.
This morning I got to become a royal pincushion as I attempted to go and take the HIV test they were offering here at the school only to be sorely disappointed and discover after seven stabs of the needle that the veins rolled and collapsed. So we shall have to wait another two weeks until a new available schedule comes into view. In other words, my OTHER test results come back tomorrow. So I shall see what the Fates have in store for me this time.....until next time. Oríva.
Tuesday, 22 August 2006
And We Now Return to Your Regularly Scheduled Program...
Sorry for the delay. Technical difficulties. Oh well let's see here. It's like August 22nd, which means it's officially been 20 days since I've written here and it feels like another lifetime. Well if all my experiences were like this then I really am starting to believe in Hinduism cause I'll be trapped in the wheel of life forever! (or at least one can hope from this standpoint). Anyway...let's see here....what's to cover.
First off, I spent some very much needed R and R back at home and to the beauty and delight of everyone involved my parents actually left me alone and went away to Florida for two weeks without anyone! Can you believe that? Not only do I get to come home, but without Mom for two weeks there alone? I know, it sounds too good to be true, but that's what happened. They drove off to Jacksonville to attend some church conference with T.D. Jakes, and get dad some rest, while we stayed behind and played catch up like we always do. A few things here.
First off, dad is trippin' for real. Forgetting mom's birthday, mother's day and the 21 year anniversary all in a three month period is whoa. But we had a long and serious discussion, all of us at the dinner table at O'Charley's when I was there, but I don't think he was listening to us. I think he heard us, but I don't think he was listening. Sad thing is, I don't think there's much we can do to change what's coming. I only hope he can do what he does best and push back the inevitable before it comes crashing down all at once. They say he has a heart condition, he has bad muscle sprain, and a breath intake problem leading to what could be a stroke. But...he doesn't care. He made that painfully obvious at the dinner table. I don't know what to do. It's like watching a train wreck in slow motion. But he doesn't see it. I don't know. Can't focus on that now.
Mom's good, in good health and still kicking like always. She was getting really pissed (see above) and so she left and went to Cha-town to visit the relatives and relax. Came back and left with Dad to Jacksonville to try and calm the nerves. I'm worried about what could be the future of their relationship together. Since I'm gone, and Shon's leaving (hopefully) within the next two years, I wonder what she'll do when we're gone. Probably the same stuff, but the thing is, she's not stupid. She's not gonna wait around forever as dad tries to get his shit together. I don't know. But we'll just have to wait and see.
As far as Shon goes, he and I had a much needed discussion concerning the future of my personal sex life goes. I told him everything. And I really can't believe that I did. But that IS my brother no matter how much I regret that fact sometimes, and so I told him. Everything. About Germany about sleeping around, about losing my virginity, he knows everything. And I asked him the most important question since when I asked my mom about whether or not I could visit the fam for the holidays if I had a boyfriend (and she subsquently refused), I asked him if he would mind if I visited with my boyfriend, and he said no, thank God. Foretunately, he seems to have matured out of the stage of the parental copies, which is a good thing cause I was worried about that for a minute. I thought perhaps that he might get sucked into their little game, which would leave me out in the cold for a while, but apparently he seems to get it better than the rest of those two. He told me that he understands that it's my life and I should get to live it like how I want and he doesn't see a problem with me living how I want. I wish Mom could understand that too, but she doesn't seem to be getting it. I'm sure we could get along so much better if she would just get with the program. But it's mom and I don't think she ever will.
Finally so now I'm back in college at Pembroke, (after a long 6 hour debate with Lumbee Hall when they tried to cancel my classes due to Germany credits) and everything is looking good for the most part. I went and purchased the last season of Queer As Folk which means officially I own 4/5 parts, and I've seen now all 5, though I'm working through it. The classes are interesting and I've got the following to get through:
Psychology 101: Dr. King -M,W,F 12:30
Environmental Science: Dr. Ezell- M, W, F 3:30
The American Novel: Dr. Canada- M 6:30
Introduction to Mass Media: Dr. Liu-T, TR 11:30
Principles of Literary Theory: Dr. Cannata-T, TR 2:00
Vocal Lessons: Dr. Kim-TR 3:30
Creative Writing (?): Dr. Helgeson-TR 6:30
And that's what my schedule's looking like. Basically at 19 hours if I can get it right. But it's not as strenduous as it looks. I also have the Fire and Ice Pageant this year to deal with, and I've started the gears for the Miss UNCP Pageant too. And I might become a frat boy too, if the cards play out right. So yeah I'm involved in some big shit right now. And to top it all off...I've got Anthony to deal with.
So othis Anthony guy. I supposed to be meeting him today to just chill out. But I've spoken to a few of the gay guys I say I should leave him be. But I don't know. I'm tired of wondering around here wondering what to do. I miss Germany for that aspect. I wish to god I could've ran into that last guy first. We could've had SO much fun! But alas....it wasn't meant to be. Either way I gotta go. Later.
First off, I spent some very much needed R and R back at home and to the beauty and delight of everyone involved my parents actually left me alone and went away to Florida for two weeks without anyone! Can you believe that? Not only do I get to come home, but without Mom for two weeks there alone? I know, it sounds too good to be true, but that's what happened. They drove off to Jacksonville to attend some church conference with T.D. Jakes, and get dad some rest, while we stayed behind and played catch up like we always do. A few things here.
First off, dad is trippin' for real. Forgetting mom's birthday, mother's day and the 21 year anniversary all in a three month period is whoa. But we had a long and serious discussion, all of us at the dinner table at O'Charley's when I was there, but I don't think he was listening to us. I think he heard us, but I don't think he was listening. Sad thing is, I don't think there's much we can do to change what's coming. I only hope he can do what he does best and push back the inevitable before it comes crashing down all at once. They say he has a heart condition, he has bad muscle sprain, and a breath intake problem leading to what could be a stroke. But...he doesn't care. He made that painfully obvious at the dinner table. I don't know what to do. It's like watching a train wreck in slow motion. But he doesn't see it. I don't know. Can't focus on that now.
Mom's good, in good health and still kicking like always. She was getting really pissed (see above) and so she left and went to Cha-town to visit the relatives and relax. Came back and left with Dad to Jacksonville to try and calm the nerves. I'm worried about what could be the future of their relationship together. Since I'm gone, and Shon's leaving (hopefully) within the next two years, I wonder what she'll do when we're gone. Probably the same stuff, but the thing is, she's not stupid. She's not gonna wait around forever as dad tries to get his shit together. I don't know. But we'll just have to wait and see.
As far as Shon goes, he and I had a much needed discussion concerning the future of my personal sex life goes. I told him everything. And I really can't believe that I did. But that IS my brother no matter how much I regret that fact sometimes, and so I told him. Everything. About Germany about sleeping around, about losing my virginity, he knows everything. And I asked him the most important question since when I asked my mom about whether or not I could visit the fam for the holidays if I had a boyfriend (and she subsquently refused), I asked him if he would mind if I visited with my boyfriend, and he said no, thank God. Foretunately, he seems to have matured out of the stage of the parental copies, which is a good thing cause I was worried about that for a minute. I thought perhaps that he might get sucked into their little game, which would leave me out in the cold for a while, but apparently he seems to get it better than the rest of those two. He told me that he understands that it's my life and I should get to live it like how I want and he doesn't see a problem with me living how I want. I wish Mom could understand that too, but she doesn't seem to be getting it. I'm sure we could get along so much better if she would just get with the program. But it's mom and I don't think she ever will.
Finally so now I'm back in college at Pembroke, (after a long 6 hour debate with Lumbee Hall when they tried to cancel my classes due to Germany credits) and everything is looking good for the most part. I went and purchased the last season of Queer As Folk which means officially I own 4/5 parts, and I've seen now all 5, though I'm working through it. The classes are interesting and I've got the following to get through:
Psychology 101: Dr. King -M,W,F 12:30
Environmental Science: Dr. Ezell- M, W, F 3:30
The American Novel: Dr. Canada- M 6:30
Introduction to Mass Media: Dr. Liu-T, TR 11:30
Principles of Literary Theory: Dr. Cannata-T, TR 2:00
Vocal Lessons: Dr. Kim-TR 3:30
Creative Writing (?): Dr. Helgeson-TR 6:30
And that's what my schedule's looking like. Basically at 19 hours if I can get it right. But it's not as strenduous as it looks. I also have the Fire and Ice Pageant this year to deal with, and I've started the gears for the Miss UNCP Pageant too. And I might become a frat boy too, if the cards play out right. So yeah I'm involved in some big shit right now. And to top it all off...I've got Anthony to deal with.
So othis Anthony guy. I supposed to be meeting him today to just chill out. But I've spoken to a few of the gay guys I say I should leave him be. But I don't know. I'm tired of wondering around here wondering what to do. I miss Germany for that aspect. I wish to god I could've ran into that last guy first. We could've had SO much fun! But alas....it wasn't meant to be. Either way I gotta go. Later.
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