And Now We Take a Loop on the Rollercoaster of Life!

Okay, so like I said I'm going to try and keep this up as continually as I can, since things are getting more and more interesting as the days go by. I had some very ugly moments last week and things seem now to be on a big upswing, which is even better. So let's see. Where to start.

Shon: This is by far becoming the biggest problem at the current moment. In an interesting conversation, I called Mom (the day after Mother's Day mind you since she didn't answer her phone) and we had a long conversation in which she divulged to me that they're are going to sell the Rapidan Court house due to a decline in the housing market and appreciation value, which totally makes sense. She is saying that they haven't decided completely where they want to move as of yet but they don't plan on having the house too much longer than than the summertime. Which means...Shon may not have a plan to go when he leaves my house. Coupled with this, mom wants to send him to Pembroke (or any 4 year university actually) but we found out rather dishearteningly that he's never even taken the SAT or the ACT in high school, so until he does, he can't apply for a 4 year university. Which puts his situation from bad to worse. And I've told him that in the next three months, he'd have to:

*Get the materials for the test
*Study REALLY hard
*Pass the test well
*Apply to UNC-Pembroke
*Get accepted
*Apply for housing
*Apply for financial aid

And generally be ready to go when August rolls around so he can go to school and do something. But....I don't see that happening. I can already see that he's going to drag around and not do what he's supposed to (I mean I told him all this information like a week ago and the SAT test is June 6th), and has he done ANYTHING since then? ....you already know the answer to that one. So you know what I'm gonna do? Not a damn thing. He can make his choice by refusing to do anything, and so as a result, he can like an adult live by those decisions. And the reason why I'm not going to do anything is because....


London is practically FINISHED!!!! The trip is in the bag. Everything has been set and confirmed. I got an email from the school Friday afternoon saying that I actually got accepted for housing (yay!) and that everything on that front is said and done. And I just went and looked into my Grad PLUS loan from CFNC (you know, the bitches that didn't want to give to me the first time and made me get the runaround?) and the loan was APPROVED May 12th and both loans are now awaiting certification from Roehampton. So that means when they certify in July, they're going to get $34,000.00 in my name for school there and after everything has been paid for, I'm going to get the remainder which I'll use to eat off of and live in general. So yeah once July comes around, that will be fantastic and it will be a nice return-home gift from Costa Rica. Speaking of which...


That's progressing nicely. I just paid them the $100.00 deposit and I've sent them a nice thick stack of papers that I filled out for the beginner part of the trip. Now I need to get my passport (which I should have today from my parents) and get the rest of the money for the trip which several members of VETS have graciously given to, as a matter of fact I'm nearly 1/2 way to my goal of $400.00 now. So that should be fine.


I'm not sure what I'm going to do about leaving as of yet, since Shirley the HR supervisor has told me that they can't extend people for less than 30 days and if I do take the extension it pushes me to Aug. 29th and I'd have to find a place to go and get that all set up. I'm thinking what I'm going to do is book a room at a hotel for just a flat month and just live out of that as I'm getting the last few paychecks from this job and that will actually allow me to save quite a bit of money if I do it that way but it's just a matter of getting the extension. One step at a time.


I actually talked to Michael the other day. Rememeber him? Michael from Vanderbuilt, the cute guy that was flirting heavily with me and was going to let me come and visit but then backed out? Yeah....that Michael. He is engaged now. Ugh. So some dude from El Salvador. I didn't handle that situation very well considering that I had just been rejected by Cole the week before. Not a good combination. But I talked to him and remained alive, so that helped.


I ended up hanging out with Chris Dicken yesterday, and I haven't seen him since like September or even longer. It was good to see him and he hasn't changed a bit since the last time we spoke. He's still the same ole Chris which is good. I needed that. We just hung out and chatted and watched Girlfriends and Absolutely Fabulous, neither of which I used to watch but they were pretty funny.


So for now, that's all on the front. We'll have to see what this week brings...

Ow. This Hurts.

Hi darcee, I'm sorry if I ended up hurting your feelings... I just always thought things were understood between us. I'm still in love with joey, regardless of where things end up and I thought I was talking to you as a friend who understood... If I ever made it seem like it was something else, then I'm sorry. I thought you opened up to me as a friend even though I know you did have feelings, I just always thought things were ridiculously impossible, me still being in love with joey, us being on opposite sides of the country... it was never an idea in my head. I am sorry, though.

-Cole.

Ugh. How dare you.

And To Your Right, Ladies and Gentlemen, A Train Wreck in Slow Motion...

And one of those trains is undoubtedly myself, and the other would have to be Cole. This situation is turning out to be completely hopeless. As a matter of fact, it is hopeless. I'm through with this. He says he's done with Joey one minute but pines and whines about how much he needs/wants him. I guess even though he thinks like a 30 year old, he's just 19. Or now, 20 since his birthday was the other day. I knew better than that, true. But I just wanted to see if I could push the envelope just a little. I did. I shoved it, and it felt good. Maybe once I get more practice, I'll get better. But for now, I'm just gonna drop Cole before he decides to make me upset. And Ii'm already getting there. How sad is that?