OK.

So this is the part where I talk about inconsistent things have been, and thats what life is right now. Inconsistent. Without a house, without a job, without steady income, who knows? It's all just liable to up and fly away at any given moment without a hint of a warning.

That being said, this is the beginning in the new year, and I have been trying to make some much-needed changes. So much has changed since the last post, that its kinda hard to keep track of it all, but I endeavor to do so, so that I have some record in the future when I want to look back some things and see how my life has progressed while I attempted to keep track of it.

I left Raleigh in November, (I was supposed to leave in October, but I got really sick from an allergy infection and ended up having to pay mom and them back 400 bucks for a new chair, so that didn't happen.) But I left, and went down to Florida to see Jessica and the crew for awhile, which was nice. The weather down in Orlando is godly and wonderful, and many times I would just look out the window and see palm trees and that lake and think about how peaceful it was.....until I heard Jess and her mother screaming at each other, or Jess screaming at Je'Lynn or Jess screaming at Eli, or Sue screaming at Eli or Jess or Steve....(see a pattern forming here?) I thought maybe I could stay there for a bit, but the month of November showed me how wrong that was.

Then mom and them moved to Lithia at the beginning of the month to their new house, which is really nice. I'm happy that their officially Floridians, although who knows how that will affect the rest of us as family members. I mean maybe we'll get stuck having to pay that bitch off or something, if we're trying to work out the finances and the real estate values of property when they die or something. But anyway, they moved, and I came to see them at the condo at the early part of December, and decided that I wasn't planning on coming back to the House of Madness, and that was during the time that I met Nick down in Kissimmee.

Hold up, let me back track. Before that, there was Willis, and Juan, and David, whom I liked, and Brian and THEN Nick. Yes, all that in a month period. I was kinda popular. Which was cool. But yes, Brian I still talk to, and he's cool. He's from Greensboro but he's a completely tool and totally arrogant which pissed me off to the damn core. Apparently he used to be a huge whore back in the city and everyone got wind of it, so he had to move. But I mean, I wasn't even sure what was going on down in Florida, but it was like one went from Madonna to Mother Theresa, and I wasn't down with that.

Anyway, I met Nick at the condo when I was visiting with mom, and he came and took me to choir rehearsal and we met up afterward and hung out. Stuff.....happened. But I mean, I was thinking I might be able to chill with him while I was getting myself together because Jess and I were talking about the fact that we might get a place together and we set about doing that, and even got approved at a beautiful apartment complex there in Sanford. And then I was hanging out with Nick and all the bombs started dropping. He told me he was a convicted sex offender....and an ex-convict.....and then I find out after I come back to Raleigh for Christmas break that he's also HIV positive. Too much, too soon. So I had to break that one off, and I'm glad I did.

But I was back hanging with Matt and trying to figure out what the next step was, and proceeded to get in touch with Julia and work my way back up to DC, which is where I am now. The apartment with Jess fell apart because she wasn't comfortable with the fact that I was looking for work outside of the state, and I told her I didnt really wanna be in Orlando anyway, but that I would keep paying for the place if I left. But she didnt wanna hear that part, so I just didnt come back.

So yes, now I'm here in DC and this has its own set of issues, from men that keep trying to set stuff up and disappearing like damn slow flakes, to the fact that Julia is like trying to pseudo hit on me, and its becoming like a freak show all over again. I hope this isn't the sequel to the show, because I really don't know if I can deal with that right now.

Tomorrow, I shall attempt regale you of a story about what my mother was saying to me over the phone about how I could force myself to fuck Julia and have a weird ass relationship and about the sexy South Aftrican that I met at the games club tonight.

A Bolt of Lightning

Finally some good news! Thank God! Truly. I have no choice but to thank him sincerely and utterly because it just came out the blue. And no, it's not a job offer, though I do believe that's coming in due time. I'm saying this because it had gotten to the point where I literally had to go to my parents' house to beg them for the money to make rent for August (and how I HATE to do that) because I just can't deal with TeamTech anymore and I still have to make it to September before the Disability stuff kicks in.

And actually I don't think that was mentioned. So yeah back in February I lose my job and try to get back on SSI but can't because they tell me they have to do a disability redetermination or whatever the hell that is, because of my work history and all that, basically to see if I'm still "disabled enough" to receieve benefits. Well I think this is the stupid thing ever because obviously my disability is lifelong (unless they start working on those stem cells with a quickness.) So yeah they've been trying to decide what to do. About three weeks ago I get a letter saying that they've decided to let me come back on the system and that my payments will start in September for my disability. So that's where that comes from.

So I've just been trying to make it through to Septembe to make sure I have everything I need and with our lease ending then as well, we've got to decide on the next phase. So yeah. Basically with no money coming in, I wasn't sure what to do and I went to mom and them asking them for advice and for help. Turns out, God had something different in mind. Apparently, like the lady has told me before, I qualify for both SSI and SSDI income and disability but I never had the first one because I had no work history and hadn't paid into it. Now I have so now I can have both. Well out of the blue SSI came through and put a cute 600 into my account yesterday. Which is literally right in the nick of time. Now I can pay for August rent, and be perfectly good to go, which will be great. And it makes my life so much easier, because now I can just focus on looking for work and not being so damned stressed all the time, and not having to put up with the horribleness that was telemarketing. I appreciate the little money they gave me but god, it's not worth it.

More on that in the next blog.

Here Comes The Sun....

And no, I'm not talking about that ancient 70's music song, but for some reason that's just been stuck in my head the last few days ever since I've been making the comparison between seventies horror flicks and the modern ones (ie, "The Last House on the Left.) I just watched the remade version of "I Spit on Your Grave" and good lord was it brutal. But it was really good. But enough of that. I didn't come here to talk about movies right now.

So...I've got a new job that starts tomorrow. Yay!!!!.....right? Um yeah. I guess. Last week was really interesting because I was sending out resumes and stuff as usual and I decided to go in and see this company called Vector because they asked me to come down that day for an interview. So I have Shon drop me off at 1:30 because he has to go to work. So I'm waiting around in their lobby for two hours until my interview at 3:30 and during the two hours, I'm hearing people on the phone and their calling up a billion people saying they didn't come in for training or that they didn't go and make their sales, or someone's grandmother saying that this person isn't interested and or anything. I knew pretty much then that it was gonna be shit. But I decided to stick around anyway because you never know what can happen.

I was thinking well obviously with my being in a chair and sitting here and everyone can see me, and whatnot, then if I can't do the door-to-door thing then maybe they'll have something else in mind that I can do. But....no. Sure enough I go in for the interview, and bam she tells me that it's not gonna work with me being in the chair and all and so I leave looking and feeling stupid and talked to the secretary for a few minutes and she said she would be on the lookout for some phone work or something.

So after hanging out with Qasim and Katryna for the afternoon (which is always fun) I go home and prepare to possbly go to another open interview the following day near downtown Raleigh. I get up and I'm like, "ehhh...I don't know, yesterday was a complete bust. " But whatever. Get dressed, get down there and discover the following:

The job is working with a diabetes company that gets senior citizens to switch their current plans over to ours, and we get a percentage for everyone that switches. They don't pay for anything (Medicare does) and so I'm thinking not half bad. And she offers the job to everyone in the room, which is great. Soooo this is what I'm supposed to be doing starting tomorrow. But I'm more than slightly nervous. Me being on th phone has never been....easy, though once I start, it's very easy to continue, I just gotta start the right way. Granted I've gotten a billion times better since I was in college, cause I couldn't hardly answer the phone back then, and I think it will be slightly easier because they don't really do incoming calls, we just do outgoing which is easier for me.

But I'm not in a position to be fucking up. Rent is due in two weeks and I've gotta be able to do this job fairly well in order to make it meet. Technically if I do this job for a month then I'm looking at hopefully anywhere from 1800 to 2500 in the month, which would be great. But we shall see. So I'm gonna spend tonight studying the words and packet to know what to say, and I will update you tomorrow evening with the results of what's gonna happen.