I'm so tired of so many things that quite frankly after yesterday I need to list them for my own damn good.
*I'm tired of having to explain myself to everyone that I'm interested in.
*I'm tired of having to give the disclaimer concerning CP to everyone that makes me hot.
*I'm tired of having people like at me in pity. If I come in the club to speak to someone hot, it's not a charity case. I was probably looking to fuck.
*I'm tired of them telling me it's complicated for them. They don't think it's complicated for me? Shit!
*I'm tired of people acting like it was a mistake to start talking to me in the club when they realize the wheelchair next to the booth I'm in is mine.
*I'm tired of only being hit on by guys 20 and 30 years older than me. I wanna chat with guys my age, and I don't find you attractive. Stay in your lane.
*I'm tired of having to think back to the only love I've ever known, knowing it wasn't reciprocated and hating myself for it.
*I'm tired of thinking of the person I call, and being sad when he doesn't call me back.
*I'm tired of wondering if they are thinking of me at all.
*I'm tired of people telling me they understand how I feel. No the HELL you don't. When you get disagnosed with something that alters your entire life, let me know. NOT when you end up that way due to something you did (and that goes for everyone who ended up in a car accident whether it was your fault or not). It is NOT the same.
*I'm tired of seeing perfect bodies everywhere I choose to look.
*I'm tired of buying really expensive clothing and having it ruined the first time I wear it since dirt gets all over the sleeves, and I can't help it.
*I'm tired of ruining perfectly beauitful shoes from crawling around.
*I'm tired of being given tasks in the office because I can't be an office mule like other people in there.
*I'm tired of being told I'm the other person, when they realize I'm in a wheelchair.
*I'm tired of going to functions having to explain myself and struggle just to get where everyone else is.
*I'm tired of giving 250%, when everyone gives 60.
*I'm tired of hot women asking me if I'm gay and hot guys not.
*I'm tired of the shocked looks I get when I go in the club.
*I'm tired of the angry looks I get from waitstaff when I come in a resturant.
*I'm tired of the apologies I get from everyone that has to move shit around so I can.
*I'm tired of not having the ability to jump on a cab and go anywhere I choose.
*I'm tired of having to plan out my everyday and making alternate plans when it doesn't work.
*I'm tired of having to make others who care about me listen to this.
*I'm tired of only being 22 and feeling like I'm 88.
*I'm tired of waking up tired, and going to bed the same way.
*I'm tired of thinking of the fact that there is NO way out.
*I'm tired of listening to how great it is to be in your 20's in the prime of your life. That's not true for everyone.
*I'm tired of having to act like I give a shit about disability policy. I wasn't raised around it, and it still makes me feel uncomfortable.
*I'm tired of how other disabled feel they can relate to me because we look like we're in a category. No YOU are. I am not.
*I'm tired of being myself so that everyone can understand. I want to blend in like everyone else at times.
*I'm tired of being so different that I can't be anyone but myself. I deserve to be in that fraternity as much as anyone else who's already there, regardless of whatever the FUCK you think.
*I'm tired of feeling overwhelmed all the time. Being a triple minority can really weigh on your thoughts.
*I'm tired of having people lie to me over the phone and online. When you say you're gonna be somewhere. Do it. Don't fucking bullshit and back out. It makes you uncomfortable, say so. If not, don't.
*I'm tired of the mindset that tells me to automatically look for ramps and curbcuts whenever I go somewhere.
*I'm tired of the fact that if I know I have many blocks to roll somewhere, I have to look at the ground the whole time to remind myself it's not THAT far.
*I'm tired of seeing guys I want to talk to all the time, but knowing before I speak what a waste of time it would be.
*I'm tired of being told I'm inspirational. I don't do it for that. I do it because there is no choice. What should I do, die?
*And finally, I'm tired of thinking that suicide is an option out. That's not really an option, but I'm tired of thinking about it so many times a day.
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