PMA (It's the Bi-Yearly Curse)

Okay so this is about the situation going on with Phi Mu Alpha. You remember? that music fraternity? that has burned me twice already? Well I just about forgot all about them when out of the blue I log onto Facebook (which I'm quickly getting over) and see this group called those interested in Phi Mu Alpha. So I click on the link and see this group for a bunch of guys interested in attending their interest session and I'm mildly amused, not thinking anymore about the subject. But as I check my inbox, I see that I have a message and clicking it lo and behold it was an invitation to join the group as well. (keep in mind, the group was an invitation only type of deal from the administrators) Well that brings me to the point of this blog? What is the deal with them? I'm sure they know, in fact I'm sure they're POSITIVE about the fact that I'm angry, and not even angry, that's the wrong word. I'm LIVID about what they pulled on me last year and the year before that. This is the third time I'd be coming out for them, and even though I don't want anymore to do with the group, I can't seem to break myself away from the association. I want this so bad. I want to be in something that I can feel associated with and more than just on a friendship level. I know many of the guys there, and I feel like I'm nothing more than some passerby at the window of what they have going on. I want to feel like part of what they have going on, simply because I know I could. But I haven't be given the chance to do anything about it, and it's annoying as shit because I don't know what else to do or say to change the situation. So I don't know. The meeting isn't until the 21st, which means I have less than a week to decide what I'm gonna do about this situation. I wish I could show this to you guys and get some kind of feedback about the situation because I'm truly torn in this decision. I want to do this because so many people telling me that I couldn't, I want to do it to prove to my parents that I can do this and for other people like Clayton who had to leave to get over the pain they caused. I want to do for it for Travis and his memory as a memoriam for the reason that he meant so much to me. At this point at my career at Pembroke, since I'm graduating in May, it wouldn't make any sense to be joining it to show off letters (even though that is a pretty big perk) but now it's for more than that. But...I don't know. I just don't know.

Been A Long Time...Shouldn'ta Left You...

Wow. It's been over a month since I last put a blog in this thing. It's a new year so I need a new format, hence the new MySpace page. A lot has occured, and it's very interesting to see what's going to happen next. I'm hesistant because I'm wondering that if I finally get down my current thoughts on paper, when I put the last final period on this thing, does that mean that my current state of affairs is over? I certainly hope not. So maybe I won't end this blog then...But let's see where we can fill in some gaps.

First off, the holiday break: It was good. Not great. But good. I got to go home after a long drawn out busride back to Raleigh where my mom met me and got looked at by some triffling bus boys. I stayed at home and chilled with the family before introducing them to the 2007 game of Life, where they indulged in the coolness of using the new Milton Bradley credit cards. It was interesting to say the least. This of course, (family time at the table) evolved into a full blown discussion about sexuality leading to my assertion (good for me!) against the so-called parental tyranny they've been excuting over my life for the past three years. I told them basically that I felt like I was doing really good in my life and that I didn't need to feel the negativity from their side anymore because it was basically dragging me down. After some screaming, much talking and some denial, I got them to at least attempt to understand the situation better, and I moved on. For Christmas, I got an mp4 player that records and takes pictures, some designer jeans, a fedora, some cologne, an Angelina Jolie poster and the new and old Halloween flicks. The grandparents came over and we enjoyed a cool if not civil dinner between them before they vanished, and life moved on. I came back to school afterwards, and that was that.

School has since then started up again and I ran into some major drama back here. First being that Dr. Vela (whom I've previously liked and admired) has really messed me up on this one. The same Shakespeare grade that I've been asking for since December has yet to show up, and I needed it in time for a graduate school review on my application. Though I've pleaded with him several times, I have yet to recieve any kind of grade, and at this point in the game, I don't care anymore. I'm gonna send my application off with or without the consent. I have my letters (which were glowing) and things are good. The school played some major bullshit with classes, forgetting that I pay for school via VR and with this forgetfulness, they dropped me resulting in the cancellation of my schooling. I quickly fixed this problem, and went about my business. The classes are good, though the workload is getting to be a bit problematic. This is more work than I think I've ever had at the beginning of a semester, and it's a little crazy, so I'll have to ask for a tutor for my Physical Science class. I could care less about actually achieving a good grade for it (though I'd like to) but I just need to pass it to be done for good. So that's that.

Frankie's left the school which shocked me kinda interestingly due to problems with Financial Aid. The funny thing I would've been in Frankie's situation long before now if I hadn't of moved in here when I did. This is just another one of those the Lord looking out kinda things. Everything is working according to plan.

Believe it or not, this issue with PMA (that I thought was over) is not. That will have to come at another blog, to really go into that one.

Anything else I missed? Hmmm not for this blog...

And So It's Done...

Well at least one of my wishes has finally come true. This nightmare of a semester is finally finished, which makes me kind of worry for what's to come. If this semester was so crucial, what the hell am I going to have to do next year? Gosh. It's a little bit daunting when you consider the possibilities. And of course, I now have this stupid ass apartment to take care of, but in a way I don't feel that bad about that part since I figured I ordered this I should continue with it and finish up with what I've got. But yes the semester is done and I didn't do half bad really. It had the potential to be a lot worse, since I had this serious bout of "I don't want to do shit," about halfway through, but I managed to push through that part and I think I made it alright. Unforetunately, all of my grades are still not in and to make matters worse the GPA part has not been calculated yet leaving me completely in the dark as to what the hell they call themselves doing over in the Registrar's office. It ain't like they got that much to do when the semester's done! Surely it wouldn't take an entire month just to imput coordinates and information into a computer for grades! But I guess for them, it does. Anyway, next semester I have a SHIT load of stuff to accomplish in order to get prepared for what happens when school is over. Off the top of my head let's see here:

*I've got to put in an application next month to VIA to go participate in their English study abroad in Malaysia (hopefully I'll get accepted into the program)

*I've got to finish drawing and getting together the application for FIDM to submit to them by Februrary.

*I have to submit an application to the HRC for the summertime in an attempt to get a paid internship there to hopefully lead to a more permanent position if something else doesn't come up.

*I've got to attend the informational meeting in January for the WRP so I can possibly do the NASA program again this summer to also lead to a permanet position.

*I've got to contact my mom about some freelance journalistic work for her magazine.

*I have to search for an apartment outside of the area to move to and figure out whether or not Shon is coming with me.

All of that. In a six month period on top of my classes...it's going to be a mess. At least I can happily say it will be the last mess I have to deal with. I finally finished Christmas shopping for everyone, so I just have to wait until the last of the stuff comes in and take it back. I also need to contact the people over at VR and see what can be done about this last semester and the future coming up. Ahhh...so much. makes your head wanna pop. At least in the interim I've discovered a temporary remedy. 24. That show is the SHIT! And the finale? Wow. They are a hot mess. that's all I'm gonna say about that.