I just have to say I really hate hypocrisy. My fiction teacher Leone, is and was really good at teaching, I'm not saying she isn't. But I don't understand now that my grades have come back from class, why I have the lowest grade in the class second to a person who failed out completely. Especially when I did so much ridiculous work for that class, and it just seems completely pointless. In comparison with someone who barely worked at all and spent all her time running around London at every party with everyone. I'm not saying she isn't good. Natalie is an amazing writer. but in comparison to the fact that I spent so much time cooped up reading books on writing and trying to emulate and make better, and then she just arrives with a piece that was really out there and odd and gets a god-like score. It's disconcerting and really upsetting.
otherwise, life is fine. I'm ready for this semester to be done already and we're only halfway through. It doesn't make me feel good that my teacher and dissertation overseer Elizabeth Clegg is making it sound like our dissertation is going to be utterly impossible. That's not really the way to inspire people into doing good work. but I'll just keep trying to get through it. It's not helping that I'm supposed to have 3 games coming to me sometime but I don't see them or when they'll be here. It'd be nice to bury myself in some Demon's Souls or Assassin's Creed 2 or even...god forbid...Mass Effect 2.
ugh.
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
Tuesday, 9 February 2010
It's Raining Men!!! 9 Stories of the Semester
Before anything else: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! 2010!!!!!! Good that's so crazy. 2000 was 10 years ago. Holy shit. Anyway...
Okay so I know it's been a while, but how should I start this? There's many things I could say about what's been going on since I got here, and what3 has happened since my last post but I think I would rather focus on the guys because that seems to be the biggest thing right now. So where to start? The good news is that since I got here there has been a noticeable upgrade in the men department, much more so than say DC, which isn't saying a whole lot, but in truth, I wasn't doing much searching there. DC was more a respite for me. I mean I was working there and I didn't have a whole lot of time to do a lot of other things. I mean so much so to the point that got that my co-workers were talking about it. That's when I went out and met the awesome 20 something's club. Shame I didn't meet them till right before I was supposed to go. That would've made a big difference. But anyway, it's water under the bridge now. So anyway like I was saying, since I've got here, there as been a big increase in guys that find me interesting, I guess most of them would even go as far as to say attractive, though sometimes I'm not quite sure. I've seen now there at there are men that view men sometimes for more of what I'm not that for what I am. Meaning like fore example, the people that like to see in my in my chair. There's only been a few of them thank God, but still I've met a few who would rather that I stay in my chair that move out of it, because for some reason they see it as hotter or some4thing. I'm not one to begrugde anyone for wanting to do their own thing, but truth be told, that's just odd. I mean I t3e3ll other people about it, and they look at me like I'm crazy. But it's okay. I mean everyone is entitled to do their own thing.
So anyway, yeah I mean I've met a few odd jobs in the past, but most of the guys I see tend to be pretty normal, nice, sexy guys. Most of them. So then. Let's go through the list, shall we? What can I remember from September? Let's see, there was:
1. Sean: He was really nice, the first guy I talked to that wanted to come and meet me, from South London or I should say England. Plae as moonlight with burning fire red hair. lol He told me that people here tned to hate on red-haired people and I've seen it for myself and I don't know why. But it's true for some odd reason. I guess here red headas are like Britain's black. lol. Anyway, he came over and we talked and hung out and he tried to introduce me to central only to be pushed back by the concept that I couldn't take my scooter onto the tube. Of course, back then, I wasn't really ready to go on the buis either, but now I could I could just take the 211 from Hammersmith and be there in 40 minutes. But, we tried.
2. Febian: This cutie Asian guy showed up when I was looking for guys into my fetish. And he was really nice. Just what I needed to get over my hating of the British culture. When I first got here, it was horrible. Everyone hating on everyone and I didn't see how I was supposed to be able to do anything around here let alone actually try and live. But anyway, Febian came and we hung out and played around it was pretty hot, I'll admit. It's a real shame that I haven't seen him again since then but with his calendar he does keep it pretty busy with all of his playmates, so who knows, maybe I'll see him again maybe not.
3. Rafal: This is one guy I keep in contact with. We haven't done anything and I don't think that we will for several reasons. Though he's extremely attractive Rafal has mental issues that keep him from from being like a regular person which is fine but he doesn't like to take his medication so it makes it difficult for me to try and communicate with him. He's a nice guy, Polish and he can sing really well. He comes over quite often ad we just hang out and do whatever. Watch movies or so out to eat or something. Whatever he's in the mood for, which can be just about anything really. With him, you never know. Just like I never know if he'll be wanting to slit his wrists when I call or something. It's like if you miss a phone call from him, he'll threaten to kill himself if you don't return it. But it's okay. I'm just keeping him at arm's length. I consider that a potential bullet dodged.
4. Martin: This was just a short fling. The Czech sexy guy was here for an evening, and we met up because of what he said he liked. Truth be told, when he got here, we ended up not doing anything because apparently I didn't have what he wanted (Nikes) but that's okay I mean even though I had told him this from the beginning it didn't seem to matter. He was just wasting time trying to get back to his boyfriend in Spain, which is where he is now. So I hope he's doing alright.
5. Sven: This guy was great. Shame I only got to meet him once and for a short time. He was on exchange from Stuttgart here in Manchester where he was studying abroad for a program. And so we met up and he is one of the best kissers I've ever had!!! And his sense of touch is am....az....ing.....absolutely. I wish I could've seen him more but such is the way of things. Cute German guy. Ahh well.
6. Ian: This was one of the more recent ones, as he was last Saturday. Interestingly enough, I had been talking ot Ian like over a year ago and didn't even know it. We had been speaking for awhile but he lives in the Caribbean and so he never really thought we would meet. However, I get here to London and his family lives here and he was here over the break, so he figured we should meet up. I agreed, however I should make one small disclaimer. I created a monster in the process. We were talking about things we like sexually and I told him what I was into and so we go to talking about it, and he found that he really liked it, though he knew nothing of the process. And so by the time he got here, apparently that's all he could think about when he was meeting me, and I didn't really want to lead him on as at the time when were first talked about meeting I was seeing John and then by the time he came I was seeing Andrew (more on that below.) But anyway, he came and we had lunch and though I tried dissuade him from the idea, he wouldn't hear of it, and so we ended up doing a little something extra but it wasn't much because I really couldn't stand myself as the thought f being some rich old man's plaything. Which is precisely what was happening for al of 10 minutes. Ugh. Not to say he wasn't nice because he was, but as a 50+ year old, that wasn't my cup of tea. No ma'am.
7. David: I don't really want to go into too much detail about this one, except to say that he found me on a disabled dating website and said hi and thirty minutes into the conversation bought a plane ticket from Madrid (where he lives) to see me in London. So I let him come and visit and that ended up being a mistake. He came and was all over me like white on rice on a paper plate with a glass of milk in a snowstorm, as Major Payne would say. And not in a good way. We went to Central London and that was great for my first time, but it was fucked up by his continual need to be around me and on me every fourteen seconds. Even my night of seeing Avenue Q was ruined by his incessant kissing sprees. Ugh. He stayed for two days and went packing. All I can say for this is bon voyage, seeing as he's French, it's appropriate.
8. John: (geez this is really stacking up. I didn't expect to see it like this till it's on paper or digital or whatever) Now this one is annoying for many reasons. I met John on my fetish website and we started talking and it was amazing. We had the greatest connection ever. I literally talked to him on Skype for seven hours straight. Yeah it was like that. I've never done that with anyone really. Let alone a person that I had just met. So I thought that was the beginning of something grand. As did he. Now as a side note, John had gastric bypass surgery last year and lost 200 pounds over the year (which is great) but as a side-effect he has several pounds of loose skin that surrounds his upper and lower body. Which is to be expected. He was telling me that he hadn't really expected to meet anyone until after his post op surgery to have the skin removed which was New Year's Eve, but obviously I showed up before then. Anyway, he came to get me and I spent the day at his place and we watched Star Trek and ate lunch and just geeked out which was great. Unfortunately, a big ass snow storm came through and ended up trapping me at his place for a week because the roads were super icy and I couldn't get back to London to go home so I stayed with him which we thought was an okay idea. Turned out to be a bad one. Internally, I guess. Over the course of the week, he claims that his feelings for me turned from one of a companion to one of a friend, due in part to the fact that I started off sleeping in his bed to moving to the couch (because it was much, much warmer there and I was freezing every night) and over a scene we had in a restaurant where he told me that he wasn't trying to get into anything serious (which was a drastic change in tone from a few days prior.) Needless to say I was pissed, still am because I feel like a part of me has wasted my time/effort in something that couldn't be worked out and he told me that after he heals from his operation if I was still available only then would he come and seek me out, though at this rate that ain't happening. See entry below.
9. And finally the last person on this list so far (but certainly not the least because there was supposed to be someone else on here but the snow pushed that back) is Andrew. I've been talking to him for quite sometime before we actually decided to meet face to face. I met him online (not at the fetish site) and we were talking and he just seemed like a generally nice guy. We never talked about anything of the usual with the guys there because most of them seem to be only interested in the size of your cock. But we didn't even go into that realm, which was refreshing. I was just frustrated because I would ask him a question and it would take him like a week to get back to me. And I was tired of it. At first, I didn't even know what he looked like because all I could see where his lips but then he unlocked the rest of the picture and he's gorgeous. And has been a model in London Fashion Week and hated every minute which I find highly amusing. I can't even begin to go into everything that's so interesting about him here, that's a topic for another post, but he's just very intriguing and eccentric. Anyway, I met him in Central London and we went for coffee at the museum which was a very proper "date" if you want to say that. And after that I didn't hear from him again really, which is not really true as he calls me every few days to see what's happening but I didn't see him in person till Thursday night when he phoned me saying that all the trains were out and he needed a place to stay and was asking if he could chill with me. So he came over and we hung out with my flatmates and everything and went to bed. He slept on the floor and we talked but by the end of the conversation he was in the bed, and we spent the rest of the night spooning, which was great. I've only done that with three guys. Andrew, Cody, and Frank. And the last two can kiss my mother fucking ass, fucking bastards. Anyway, that morning the spooning turned into something more....intimate shall we say and it was fabuloso. And then he got dressed, cooked me breakfast (scrambled eggs and salmon delicious) and went off to work. It was....perfect. And now, I'm wondering if I'll ever get to do it again or if it was a single magical moment in the history of my life, as such seems to happen every blue moon.
And there you have it. Nine men, nine short stories. I wonder what the next semester will hold?
Okay so I know it's been a while, but how should I start this? There's many things I could say about what's been going on since I got here, and what3 has happened since my last post but I think I would rather focus on the guys because that seems to be the biggest thing right now. So where to start? The good news is that since I got here there has been a noticeable upgrade in the men department, much more so than say DC, which isn't saying a whole lot, but in truth, I wasn't doing much searching there. DC was more a respite for me. I mean I was working there and I didn't have a whole lot of time to do a lot of other things. I mean so much so to the point that got that my co-workers were talking about it. That's when I went out and met the awesome 20 something's club. Shame I didn't meet them till right before I was supposed to go. That would've made a big difference. But anyway, it's water under the bridge now. So anyway like I was saying, since I've got here, there as been a big increase in guys that find me interesting, I guess most of them would even go as far as to say attractive, though sometimes I'm not quite sure. I've seen now there at there are men that view men sometimes for more of what I'm not that for what I am. Meaning like fore example, the people that like to see in my in my chair. There's only been a few of them thank God, but still I've met a few who would rather that I stay in my chair that move out of it, because for some reason they see it as hotter or some4thing. I'm not one to begrugde anyone for wanting to do their own thing, but truth be told, that's just odd. I mean I t3e3ll other people about it, and they look at me like I'm crazy. But it's okay. I mean everyone is entitled to do their own thing.
So anyway, yeah I mean I've met a few odd jobs in the past, but most of the guys I see tend to be pretty normal, nice, sexy guys. Most of them. So then. Let's go through the list, shall we? What can I remember from September? Let's see, there was:
1. Sean: He was really nice, the first guy I talked to that wanted to come and meet me, from South London or I should say England. Plae as moonlight with burning fire red hair. lol He told me that people here tned to hate on red-haired people and I've seen it for myself and I don't know why. But it's true for some odd reason. I guess here red headas are like Britain's black. lol. Anyway, he came over and we talked and hung out and he tried to introduce me to central only to be pushed back by the concept that I couldn't take my scooter onto the tube. Of course, back then, I wasn't really ready to go on the buis either, but now I could I could just take the 211 from Hammersmith and be there in 40 minutes. But, we tried.
2. Febian: This cutie Asian guy showed up when I was looking for guys into my fetish. And he was really nice. Just what I needed to get over my hating of the British culture. When I first got here, it was horrible. Everyone hating on everyone and I didn't see how I was supposed to be able to do anything around here let alone actually try and live. But anyway, Febian came and we hung out and played around it was pretty hot, I'll admit. It's a real shame that I haven't seen him again since then but with his calendar he does keep it pretty busy with all of his playmates, so who knows, maybe I'll see him again maybe not.
3. Rafal: This is one guy I keep in contact with. We haven't done anything and I don't think that we will for several reasons. Though he's extremely attractive Rafal has mental issues that keep him from from being like a regular person which is fine but he doesn't like to take his medication so it makes it difficult for me to try and communicate with him. He's a nice guy, Polish and he can sing really well. He comes over quite often ad we just hang out and do whatever. Watch movies or so out to eat or something. Whatever he's in the mood for, which can be just about anything really. With him, you never know. Just like I never know if he'll be wanting to slit his wrists when I call or something. It's like if you miss a phone call from him, he'll threaten to kill himself if you don't return it. But it's okay. I'm just keeping him at arm's length. I consider that a potential bullet dodged.
4. Martin: This was just a short fling. The Czech sexy guy was here for an evening, and we met up because of what he said he liked. Truth be told, when he got here, we ended up not doing anything because apparently I didn't have what he wanted (Nikes) but that's okay I mean even though I had told him this from the beginning it didn't seem to matter. He was just wasting time trying to get back to his boyfriend in Spain, which is where he is now. So I hope he's doing alright.
5. Sven: This guy was great. Shame I only got to meet him once and for a short time. He was on exchange from Stuttgart here in Manchester where he was studying abroad for a program. And so we met up and he is one of the best kissers I've ever had!!! And his sense of touch is am....az....ing.....absolutely. I wish I could've seen him more but such is the way of things. Cute German guy. Ahh well.
6. Ian: This was one of the more recent ones, as he was last Saturday. Interestingly enough, I had been talking ot Ian like over a year ago and didn't even know it. We had been speaking for awhile but he lives in the Caribbean and so he never really thought we would meet. However, I get here to London and his family lives here and he was here over the break, so he figured we should meet up. I agreed, however I should make one small disclaimer. I created a monster in the process. We were talking about things we like sexually and I told him what I was into and so we go to talking about it, and he found that he really liked it, though he knew nothing of the process. And so by the time he got here, apparently that's all he could think about when he was meeting me, and I didn't really want to lead him on as at the time when were first talked about meeting I was seeing John and then by the time he came I was seeing Andrew (more on that below.) But anyway, he came and we had lunch and though I tried dissuade him from the idea, he wouldn't hear of it, and so we ended up doing a little something extra but it wasn't much because I really couldn't stand myself as the thought f being some rich old man's plaything. Which is precisely what was happening for al of 10 minutes. Ugh. Not to say he wasn't nice because he was, but as a 50+ year old, that wasn't my cup of tea. No ma'am.
7. David: I don't really want to go into too much detail about this one, except to say that he found me on a disabled dating website and said hi and thirty minutes into the conversation bought a plane ticket from Madrid (where he lives) to see me in London. So I let him come and visit and that ended up being a mistake. He came and was all over me like white on rice on a paper plate with a glass of milk in a snowstorm, as Major Payne would say. And not in a good way. We went to Central London and that was great for my first time, but it was fucked up by his continual need to be around me and on me every fourteen seconds. Even my night of seeing Avenue Q was ruined by his incessant kissing sprees. Ugh. He stayed for two days and went packing. All I can say for this is bon voyage, seeing as he's French, it's appropriate.
8. John: (geez this is really stacking up. I didn't expect to see it like this till it's on paper or digital or whatever) Now this one is annoying for many reasons. I met John on my fetish website and we started talking and it was amazing. We had the greatest connection ever. I literally talked to him on Skype for seven hours straight. Yeah it was like that. I've never done that with anyone really. Let alone a person that I had just met. So I thought that was the beginning of something grand. As did he. Now as a side note, John had gastric bypass surgery last year and lost 200 pounds over the year (which is great) but as a side-effect he has several pounds of loose skin that surrounds his upper and lower body. Which is to be expected. He was telling me that he hadn't really expected to meet anyone until after his post op surgery to have the skin removed which was New Year's Eve, but obviously I showed up before then. Anyway, he came to get me and I spent the day at his place and we watched Star Trek and ate lunch and just geeked out which was great. Unfortunately, a big ass snow storm came through and ended up trapping me at his place for a week because the roads were super icy and I couldn't get back to London to go home so I stayed with him which we thought was an okay idea. Turned out to be a bad one. Internally, I guess. Over the course of the week, he claims that his feelings for me turned from one of a companion to one of a friend, due in part to the fact that I started off sleeping in his bed to moving to the couch (because it was much, much warmer there and I was freezing every night) and over a scene we had in a restaurant where he told me that he wasn't trying to get into anything serious (which was a drastic change in tone from a few days prior.) Needless to say I was pissed, still am because I feel like a part of me has wasted my time/effort in something that couldn't be worked out and he told me that after he heals from his operation if I was still available only then would he come and seek me out, though at this rate that ain't happening. See entry below.
9. And finally the last person on this list so far (but certainly not the least because there was supposed to be someone else on here but the snow pushed that back) is Andrew. I've been talking to him for quite sometime before we actually decided to meet face to face. I met him online (not at the fetish site) and we were talking and he just seemed like a generally nice guy. We never talked about anything of the usual with the guys there because most of them seem to be only interested in the size of your cock. But we didn't even go into that realm, which was refreshing. I was just frustrated because I would ask him a question and it would take him like a week to get back to me. And I was tired of it. At first, I didn't even know what he looked like because all I could see where his lips but then he unlocked the rest of the picture and he's gorgeous. And has been a model in London Fashion Week and hated every minute which I find highly amusing. I can't even begin to go into everything that's so interesting about him here, that's a topic for another post, but he's just very intriguing and eccentric. Anyway, I met him in Central London and we went for coffee at the museum which was a very proper "date" if you want to say that. And after that I didn't hear from him again really, which is not really true as he calls me every few days to see what's happening but I didn't see him in person till Thursday night when he phoned me saying that all the trains were out and he needed a place to stay and was asking if he could chill with me. So he came over and we hung out with my flatmates and everything and went to bed. He slept on the floor and we talked but by the end of the conversation he was in the bed, and we spent the rest of the night spooning, which was great. I've only done that with three guys. Andrew, Cody, and Frank. And the last two can kiss my mother fucking ass, fucking bastards. Anyway, that morning the spooning turned into something more....intimate shall we say and it was fabuloso. And then he got dressed, cooked me breakfast (scrambled eggs and salmon delicious) and went off to work. It was....perfect. And now, I'm wondering if I'll ever get to do it again or if it was a single magical moment in the history of my life, as such seems to happen every blue moon.
And there you have it. Nine men, nine short stories. I wonder what the next semester will hold?
Monday, 18 January 2010
Hello, My Name Is Jello.
And I feel like a quivering mess. Damn Andrew. Really. Damn him. I just got done taking a bath and it was the worst bath ever. I brought Charlaine Harris along to cheer me up and I couldn't even crack the cover. So after that fantastic day like a week and a half ago (yeah something like that) I haven't heard from him. Not once. Well that's not entirely true. We talked for 47 seconds the day after and he sent me a single text yesterday after not hearing from him for 5 days. Saying he's in Belgium on business with friends. With friends, it's always WITH FRIENDS. Okay. So I can see this now. It's going to drive me insane unless I get a straight answer. So that is what I will do.
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