When I Open My Mouth, What Comes Out?

Okay so it's been a "hawt" minute since I've wrote a blog on here but I've been saving my emotions for quite awhile because I haven't felt the need to blog in a little while. Well now it's got to the point where I can't stand it anymore so I'm gonna do something about it. So the thing is this...since the last blog I've been roaming around and I've made quite a few decisions, some good some bad, and either way I'm still here. So here we go.

First off, we had SpringBreak and against my better judgement I decided to go with Efrain and Frankie both down to Myrtle Beach to spend some time there because it's been years since I've seen the beach or anything, and I wanted to experience the beautifulness all over again. Well I went, and it was fun but it was the beginning of I think was a strain for my relationship with the two of them, which brings me to the main point of this blog.

Over SpringBreak I was hanging out with them and it was fun and all, but it made me realize two things about the both of them. One of them is unbelievably cheap and refuses to come up off a little change for everyone's enjoyment leaving the rest of us to scrap up the will (and money) to enjoy the day, secondly the other needs to (and now that I think about it both do) need to learn some self-respect about the appropriate personal boundaries of the human spirit and what can and cannot be endured. What do I mean? Well while I was there, I had previously set up some meetings to meet some guys and hang out, I managed to get in touch with one of them while I was around and we arranged to meet up at the hotel later that night. The problem came in since I didn't have my cell phone, I was using Frankie's and since I told Jay to call me there Frankie responds with: "Hey dont' be calling my phone on the regular, you faggot!" Which of course pissed me the hell off, and I chewed them out for a hot minute because of it. Afterwards we came back to the room and Frankie proceeds (wearing nothing but a thong-ish thing) to "rape" me in the room to the amusement of everyone else in the area, while I'm trying to move away complementing "you know you want it..." which of course, I didn't.

When I become friends with someone I expect it's for more than my taste in fashion, clothes and good food. I thought it was about substance and reality, and the aspect that I'm a loyal person, and I don't just flit around to whomever's avalible. However it's coming to my attention that for some reason to some people whenever I open my mouth all they hear is that I wanna suck dick or something, which is a topic I tend to avoid when I'm around them not because I'm ashamed but rather over the concept that I have a certain amount of respect for them, and I'd rather not hear their mouths. Still...it is incredibly disheartening to have to hear that over and over when I get bashed for it emotionally a lot, and when I come to other people to discuss other things, I don't want to have to get bashed over that too. Feel me? I swear, it makes me so angry some times. But I get that's the reason why we forgive and forget. But I'm not gonna change so will I be apologizing forever?

In other news, I decided to drop Dr. Vela's class the other day for a few reasons. Right now I'm at 94 credits and since after 120 credits they start charging the hell out of you, I want to make that bill come less sooner than it will, and even after dropping two classes I'm still at 16 hours (isn't that crazy?). So add 16 to 94 and you've got 110. I just the crude version of a schedule from here to graduation and I'm approximately....8 classes away from leaving this school forever and having a Bachelor of Arts in English Literature with a minor in Creative Writing and another minor in Musical Theatre. And after looking at my temporary schedule it looks kinda lax actually. Only one class in the summer "Literature and Film" and two in summer two and five in the Fall...and I'm done, and that's not counting Maymester if I choose to try it. It's exciting. I'm so close to graduating it makes me shiver inside thinking about it. But I've got a few reports to do now, so I'm gonna go. More on this some time.