I See Now Why Suicide Can Be Appealing.

This sucks. I mean really. I know that graduation is supposed to be a happy occasion, but this is turning into a nightmare. Here I have everything ready to go and I realize that I may not be able to do anything about any of it. I can’t get a job in the area because there’s no way to get there. Can’t leave the area because I don’t have a job set up. Can’t get the job because people say I’m in a wheelchair. It’s moments like this that make suicide really REALLY appealing. If the concept of reincarnation truly does exist, then dammit I want to come back as something better. Granted I could’ve been born as an invalid thereby being unconscious of a situation at hand and not caring. But no INSTEAD I get this mind and these abilities and I feel like I’ve been slammed into a brick wall that has no cracks. Whereas everyone else I’m talking to about graduation is either A) joining the Army, B) picking up a temporary side job or C) starting something permanent beforehand, I don’t have any of those options and it’s truly disturbing. God I just wish I was someone else. I really do. This is damn ridiculous. It just makes me want to kill myself to see what else I can come back as. I don’t feel like living through with this bullshit and having to put up with so many extra hardships on top of regular living that everyone else has to do. I know that mom used to tell me as a little kid that God doesn’t put on you more than you can bear, but sometimes I really have to truly question that statement. *sigh.....*