I Feel Like Sylar From Heroes....

Not because I cut people's heads off and absorb their powers via brain matter (though there are a few people who's heads I'd like to cut), but rather because he always seems to be hearing clocks whenever he starts thinking about something too hard and I can hear my own clock ticking as I start piecing together this London trip. It's like already March (I can't believe that. This time last year I was heading to Hollywood-Wednesday would be a year ago- to go to that audition at FIDM) and I can see things turning very slowly as evidence that something is finally going a certain way. True, I still have many things that I need to work out, like what the hell I gonna do with this furniture before I go, exactly how much aid I'm getting so I can plan accordingly, where I'm gonna stay when i get there, how the hell this gas bill's gonna be taken caer of and things like that, but I can see it all coming to an end.

A part of me is kinda upset in that I don't want to feel this upcoming spirit thing again meaning when I left NC I had this idea in my head about how DC was gonna be so great because it wasn't NC and that it was gonna be bigger, and the guys cuter and nicer and more open, and I'm finding that that isn't the case. I know when I went to Europe, I had a lot more experiences there than usual, so I don't want to base my faith off a semester staying there but at least I have already been there once so I have some inkling of what to expect. The people here are just like people anywhere else and I'm finding it hard to cope with that fact especially in the evenings when everything is quiet. Normally I like quiet. But sometimes, I hate the fact that it's too quiet here. That's why I blast my boombox to give me something to listen to because I don't want to hear the thoughts in my head that tell me I could be something right now. Meeting someone, talking to someone, god forbid making love to someone. So I don't focus on that. Instead just try to think about the other things in life. Like this upcoming London trip.

Tick, tock. Tick, tock.