Alright, so how about the famed UNCP talent show being last night? Wow. That's all I really got to say is wow. I mean the hot was hot, we had like 22 acts and it was long as hell, and of course some people I knew got up there and did our thing, you like myself and my girl Puerto Rico! (what!) and Mister Buttery Brown and former Miss UNCP did their thing and this guy named Travis did the same shit he's been doing for the past like hundred years or whatever. There was this hot ass dance by this white dude (gasp!) and some gospel singing, and some ballet or whatever, and Chi-Chi and his crew got up there and did some stuff too and it was hot in the end or whatever. But nah....that's not what everyone was there for in the first place. They wanted to hear about that dirt, and that grime....and boy did we have some dirt! First off, now he's my friend, and I'm not sure if he has a MySpace page, or if he'll ever read this, but if you do, then Majik, you know I still got love for you dog.
He did this rendition of Usher's "You Remind Me" and performed it onstage. I can't even call it the actual song, because it wasn't anywhere close, so I have to say rendition. It was in a word, horrifying. I would have rather had the flu and stayed at home in Morrisville then come and listen to that song. And the sad part is, the longer it went, (which it went for like ever and ever,) the worst it became. But I got mad respect for Majik, cause he didn't even let none of that shit get to him. He must've known how bad it was, from the audience's reaction. People didn't even really boo because they didn't know exactly what the hell was going on. And so some girls cheered simply because they didn't know what else to do, and that just made it worse in the end, I think. He got the bridge and everything went wrong all at once. Majik's mike turned to static, he cracked big time and tripped, it was a hilarious performance. But when I think about what's coming next, it was a musical lullaby of the century.
What came next, I am sorry to say was a disgrace to all of humankind who has ever thought about, ever will think about, ever has, or ever will perform the most beautiful artist ever, Mariah Carey. That is my favorite artist of all time, and the way these two girls last night destroyed it will never be forgotten for as long as Fall semester lasts. It was....unbeliveably terrible. Apparently, this is the same chick whom from last year destroyed the sparkling name of Christina Aguilera when she performed "Beautiful" at the talent show last year. And now, you've seen what happen to Christina's career shortly afterward. What happened? Where is she? I think it might've been because of what that chick did. And see the thing about it is that I wasn't even there last year cause I had stuff to do, so I didn't even hear the song for myself. But I was there last night, and it was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
(that's right, I had to take a space to say it right)
sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad, it was hard to believe that she could've opened her mouth. Like I was telling my friends before, it was so bad, it was like an atomic bomb. It was like the largest bomb to ever go off on UNCP's campus. And it's funny cause when the lady announced that they were going to be singing Mariah Carey's "Shake It Off" everyone in the audience thought it was gonna be the hottest performance of the night. I mean, I was really geniunely looking forward to it. And we could see this little skit with these two girls and their prom dresses or whatever, and we thought it was gonna be awesome. And then the instrumental started, and we all was like, "Oh hell yeah!" cause we all started grooving to the beat. But we should've known. Boy should we have known. When she opened her mouth, everyone's face in the audience simultaneously changed into something that resembled a mixture of horror and disgust. It's hard to put it even into words that can be understood. Trust me, if you didn't go to that show last night....you missed something SERIOUS.
Oh yeah, refund checks are today, and I'm wondering if I have anything in my name. I sure hope so, for my sake.
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