The Eclipse

Okay so here I am writing this and this day has not been the best one for me. Quite frankly, it sucked ass. The writing I'm calling this The Eclipse, is because Keven and Mari have a saying that whenever something is wrong (like someone did something to someone) they call it shade. It's like it's so grimy it can't be done in the sunlight. So as a result it has to be done in the darkness. While this is definately the ultimate shade today because I went to the damn Sinfonia interview yesterday and after a week of trying desperately to convince these guys to let me at least get a bid for the fraternity, after pulling myself to through the complete nonsense of going to every party and watching them get drunker and drunker, it was to no avail. I'm sitting there in my room (after all the pledges went to McDonald's to eat) waiting for the telephone to ring in my room telling me that I can have my pin and continue the process. But as the hours rolled on, I was getting a bit doubtful as to whether or not it was actually gonna happen. And then at 12:39 Matt Blue comes in the room with his notebook informing me that they've had the meeting with the bids, and I didn't get one. AGAIN. Now this is fucking ridiculous. I did everything I was supposed to do. I went out on an extra limb to prove myself to them, I talked to them one on one and I tried my best to convince them to give me a chance. All of it was for nothing. Nothing change, nothing mattered. Apparently they must think that I'm not good enough for Sinfonia or something because honestly I can't think of anything that I could've did differently. And of course, they didn't honor us with the reasoning behind why we don't have the bid. Of course I have to sit there and smile politely as I watch other people move past me and do this stupid shit because I can't. (I'm sure that Kevin got one this time, even though he never mentioned it. I'm happy for him but still. And I haven't seen Clayton yet, which is making me wonder. And if they both got one, I'll be VERY PISSED.) So today I didn't want to go to class or anything but rather sitting there in my room stewing for no reason, I decided to go to class actually. And I'm glad I did. It was actually fairly interesting. But still I'm gonna need some time to get through this. The only thing that I can think of that would fix my mood is: going shopping, which I plan to do RRRREEEAAALLLL soon. Dammit, I fucking deserve it! I can't believe this shit. Honestly I can't believe it. I have to go before I break this fucking keyboard.