Okay so I've just come to another face slapping realization tonight as I logged in on my computer. One major high and one major low. On Tuesday afternoon, I found out that my application for the National Honors Society was approved, and that I got in. So I was really, really happy about that. However, I just realized just now that I was lied to YET AGAIN about this fucking fraternity thing.
The first time that shit happened was the night of bids for Phi Mu Alpha and I had asked my then friend Adam as to whether or not he was in or not. He flat out lied to my face and then Efrain turned around helped him cover it up. When I found out, I was so angry that I never wanted to speak to him again. However I realized tonight that it's happened again.
The other day Treco came over to the apartment and I asked him when Phi Beta Sigma was planning on having another line since everyone was under the suspicion that they don't have a line since they haven't had one in a long time, and we were told when I went last year, that they didn't have time to run a line thanks to Marvin running the school and stuff. So when I asked Treco what was going to happen, he told me to wait until the old regime was out of office before new people were elected in. Well folks, that was another FLAT out lie. Tonight Liddia (who is a Zeta) proclaimed that not only did they have a line last semester, they have a probate on Friday!!! This makes me so angry. Then didn't TELL anyone. And I'm so pissed.
Why is it that I can't seem to have that what I want most? Everyone tells me I'm well-qualified to be in a fraternity and that I have a lot of qualities for the thing however I've done this shit three times now (five if you include twice for PMA and once for DLP) and I just can't seem to convince anyone.
And I know people like Efrain really feel bad for me, but I'd rather not get in than to appear desperate and to run out to everyone's Rushes and shit. I'm not gonna do that, and it's not worth it. My dignity will prevent me from doing that. What I have left, that is.
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