The Omega Chronicles

This is what I'm calling my current dilemma dealing with Phi Mu Alpha. The way this thing works, the situation could be over as soon as Sunday morning, or it may continue all the way up until...who knows. So anyway, this is my first official entry into this interesting realm that I've traversed twice beforehand. But somehow this road is different. I know that the other two times I've traveled here it was always the expectance that the anticipation would dissipate and something else would take it place that would have allowed me to feel the joy that I've been waiting awhile for. Before I decided to go this meeting tonight, I truly had to think inside myself about what it is about this and why I want to do it. I've always been a stickler for the philosophy that says that you shouldn't do anything unless it makes you completely happy and you feel fulfilled and well accomplished for doing it. Listening to the group tonight, it made me feel for a moment that there wouldn't be anything outside of that campus that would be worth it for me to participate in what they have in store for us. But I realized that it would have to be about me and not them if I'm doing this. I have no idea what they plan to make us do or for what reason, but I realize that if I do this, it would have to be because I felt that it was appropriate for me, and that I can accomplish something within myself.

When I came in tonight, I had been preoccupied during the past week with the feelings of how I was going to fix my face when I came into the meeting. I'm sure the brother of Phi Mu Alpha are well aware of how I felt when I came in there. They have to know how hurt I was to have to sit in there and watch all this bullshit again hearing the same old pitch. And then as I was sitting there, I was thinking about the fact that I truly didn't care anymore. Either they're going to let me do the stupid thing, or they won't. Either way, it's not going to stop me from graduating and all of that. The funny thing is that they seem to be softer than usual. Apparently the bullshit of Spring 07 caught up with them and they feel like they can't get away with the same old shit they always had. But either way, it is what it is. We shall strictly have to see.

Also as a side note, I met up with Michael from Vanderbuilt tonight randomly and we had an interesting little session. Hmm....and also I found out that my friend Shruti from high school now attends UNC Pembroke, so I will have to find her as soon as humanly possible. Speaking of which, I'm talking to her now.