This Is Divine Intervention

I found this article directly as soon as I finished typing that last blog! Perhaps something is telling me something.


Somebody to love
Charles Purdy
Dear Social Grace,

I'm a 24-year-old man with a college education and a good career, and I volunteer for a nonprofit organization.

My problem is dating: I don't. My friends and family say that I am much too picky when it comes to dating. I think that I have every right to be picky, and I refuse to settle for anything less than I know I deserve. My basic requirements are that a guy have a job, a car and no emotional baggage. I also search the profiles because choice of words, personal revelations and the content of the profile are important factors when I'm deciding if I should drop a line to someone. If the guy can't be grammatically correct, obviously a conversation with him would be a nightmare.

As I get older, this window of opportunity shrinks. Am I being too picky when it comes to dating? Am I asking too much?

Thanks!

Hopelessly Waiting

Dear Hopeless Sir,

First, a word to the wise: Never bitchily criticize others' grammar. When you do, you're almost certain to commit an egregious grammatical error in the very next sentence you write. The Grammar Goddess has a wicked sense of humor (I say this with worshipful reverence, Oh Mighty One). I've taken the liberty of removing a few minor grammar blunders from your letter, so do keep in mind that a person's ability to construct a well-ordered sentence is not always linked to his intelligence. Writing is a skill -- like playing the piano or repairing a car; it's not always an accurate measure of a person's IQ. Dear Social Grace,

I'm a 24-year-old man with a college education and a good career, and I volunteer for a nonprofit organization.

My problem is dating: I don't. My friends and family say that I am much too picky when it comes to dating. I think that I have every right to be picky, and I refuse to settle for anything less than I know I deserve. My basic requirements are that a guy have a job, a car and no emotional baggage. I also search the profiles because choice of words, personal revelations and the content of the profile are important factors when I'm deciding if I should drop a line to someone. If the guy can't be grammatically correct, obviously a conversation with him would be a nightmare.

As I get older, this window of opportunity shrinks. Am I being too picky when it comes to dating? Am I asking too much?

Thanks!

Hopelessly Waiting

Dear Hopeless Sir,

First, a word to the wise: Never bitchily criticize others' grammar. When you do, you're almost certain to commit an egregious grammatical error in the very next sentence you write. The Grammar Goddess has a wicked sense of humor (I say this with worshipful reverence, Oh Mighty One). I've taken the liberty of removing a few minor grammar blunders from your letter, so do keep in mind that a person's ability to construct a well-ordered sentence is not always linked to his intelligence. Writing is a skill -- like playing the piano or repairing a car; it's not always an accurate measure of a person's IQ.

That said, however, if you want to date only the sort of fellow who knows his subjunctive case from a subordinate clause, you have every right to hold out for him. Only you can know whether you're "too picky." Here's the question you have to ask yourself: "Is sticking to my standards more important to me than finding someone to snuggle with on a regular basis?" And there's no wrong answer. Some people have found true love by crossing a few items off of their "must have" lists. And some people have found that they're much happier alone than with someone who doesn't meet several very specific criteria.

Anyway, there is more to life than having a boyfriend. If you think that having a boyfriend will solve any of the problems in your life, you're not only wrong but also unprepared for a serious relationship. Find a way to be happy on your own; otherwise, you're going to be miserable (and make the other person miserable) when you're in a relationship. (Does all of this sound familiar? It should. I've just summarized a great many dating-advice/self-help books.)

Finally, complaining about a shrinking "window of opportunity" at the ripe old age of 24 will make many, many people want to slap you -- so let's put an end to that, too. Sure, as time goes on, you'll lose your power to enchant people who prize youth. But 10, 20 or 30 years from now, you should, if all goes well, be a wiser person than you are now. This wisdom will only make you better prepared for love.