Divine Revelation #1: Time Will Come For You, No Matter What
I. Never believe your BC (bootycall) if he tells you that it's okay for you to be there, if he keeps glancing at the clock. If he does this constantly, and if his reassurance is waning at best, seek a minimum safe distance. If he keeps telling you that it's fine and that the partner will not come back to find you in the bed together, that's bullshit for hurry the fuck up and get out. If you must stay in someone's presence after the other comes back, make sure to be doing a reasonable activity that will not arouse too much suspicion. If you fucked the person, the other will know this. But that doesn't mean you have to paint it over your forehead. At least ACT like you were there to do something else, and it just "happened."
Divine Revelation #2: When Making A Fashionable Exit, Be Sure To Properly Thank The Host
II. If you're sick, leave it at home and come back when you feel up the task of having sex. Do not enter into a residence get all into a sexual act and then up and decide you're sick again and due to this you must make a quick and fashionable exit, without your host getting theirs first. If you absolutely must decide to up and leave, at least give a suitable reason for why you're exiting the area and be sure to return within 24 hours to request a rain cheque or a follow-through. Do not book a passport and a flight out for three weeks and then inquire a month later as to the results of the party. The consequences can be devastating.
Divine Revelation #3: Always, Always Perform A Social Check. No Exceptions.
III. It doesn't matter if the person is the finest thing since Adam and Eve, and even if they want to jump your bones every second of every day, you must perform this vital move to ensure the future of your sanity. Failure to comply to this simple move, cam result in months or even years of mental anguish and/or permanently scar any future changes for a drama-free relationship. Find out who they've been hanging with, and what they do when they're not trying to jump you. If either answer to this is "nothing," or "I don't know," then that's a flag to evacuate and drop the A-bomb.
Divine Revelation #4: Always Read The Label EXTREMELY Carefully!
IV. You need to memorize every letter in every sentence of a label before you decide to purchase a product and ingest it for consumption. Do not take the printed picture on the can at face value. You MUST read the ingredients to find out exactly what is in the product. The media's job is redirect your attention the flashy colors [photos] and to the catchy slogan [stats].This brings up the point to make sure that the item can be identified in your langauge. You need to understand what you're putting in your mouth. If you are starving and grabbed a can without perusing the label beforehand, be sure to inspect the product inside with a toothcomb. If you bought corn and find a bean inside, you might want to consider returning the product to the buyer.
Currently listening:
Lost and Found
By Will Smith
Release date: 29 March, 2005
4:13 AM
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