Public University's Number One Enemy Has Arrived...

Isn't it hilarious? I swear its just absolutely fucking hysterical. How one day you can be having just the greatest day ever created on the planet, and within the space of twelve hours you feel like you're trapped in the coals of Hell? Well when I was having a good time, I had seen Beyonce and all of them and everything was good. My train tickets were 39.00 bucks rounnd trip, and everything was hot. But then, when shit hit the fan, it covered everything.

First Char Safley informs me (my Vocational Rehab officer) that she might not be able to give me my fall money because my mother was trying to outmsart the system and move me to Chicago on the records. Then, I find out that I left my wallet at my mom's house, then I get here and I find out by talking to my counselor today, that when I was regaling my story to this guy John Arnold (who knows me from elementary school), that a bunch of parents were listening to our conversation when I informed John that I HAD been seeking legal action against the university for their actions regarding last winter. She informs me that the parents were not too pleased, and now everyone's blaming me. She also tells me that she doesn't believe a word I said when I spoke to her about Hansen (theatre teacher) about how he refuses to move his class. She says the class was full, and that I registered late. A flat out lie. I was here two days before classes began. She tells me that she thinks we have a "trust breach," and that she can't believe what I tell her. But as I was sitting there, I was thinking that perhaps I shouldn't return to her as a therapist. Because Mary Helen and the others are there in that office, they have the university's perspective to back up on when things don't look quite right. And so it makes me look bad. And I flat out told her that I think that the university was only saying that because it wanted to cover up for the mistakes that they've been making since I been here. They seem to think that since I have this uncanny knack for pulling out the flaws in their supposed "perfect system" that I'm the enemy of the university. But I told her that I'm not stupid. And just because the people in the higher chains allow themselves to be polluted by that bullshit, it doesn't mean that the rest of us have to fall in line with it.

Hmmm...the Ultimate Concert Review...

....okay, so I've been putting this off for a day so I could get my thoughts together in preparation of writing this. This weekend was simply put...INSANE. My parents totally changed our house, and they bought VERSACE furniture. It is absolutely gorgeous. It is the pennicle of everything that I would have wanted to see. New York City furniture in our house. It was fantastic. Gold and brown with the Versace logo all over the place. I bet it must have a cost a fortune! And then along with that, they've finally finished the third floor of our house. It looks magnificent. Wood and marble floors, the theatre complete with a gigantic television, the bar, the exercise room, everything. It is awesome! And then that was only the tip of the iceberg.



Sunday night, we got to see DESTINY'S CHILD in concert. I was staring at Beyonce and the crew the whole time. I couldn't believe that I was staring at the girls of my idols half my life. She was actually there in real life, and the concert was fabulous. The greatest thing ever. Amerie, Mario, and Tyra were there too. They did everything from their whole career from Bills, Bills, Bills to Say My Name to Survivor to No, No, No, to Lose My Breath and Soldier. It was beyond words as far as concerts go. The funniest part was, my brother was actually going to go up on stage when Michelle asked him to come up so they could do "Cater 2 U" but he got nervous and sat down, and so she picked someone else instead. What a dork!

Oh so much fun! But now I'm back in Pembroke, and it's back to life as usual. Oh well...



A Few Wannabe Fantasies....

Ha. These are just a few people the people that I would LOVE to meet:



One of the hottest actors to ever grace the planet, Paul Walker.




The beautiful Bohemian princess, Nicole Kidman



The World's Most Beautiful Woman, Twice in a Row, Halle Berry



Straight Up. The Sexiest Man Alive. Hands Down. Brad Pitt.




The 2nd Place Winner for the Sexiest Man Alive. Mark Wahlberg.

The End of a Season...

I can't really think of anything to say at the moment. What I just saw is enough to make anyone crazy. I'm sitting here at this exact moment crying my eyes out at the moment because I just finished watching the entire first season of Queer As Folk, and the ending was soo crazy. Without warning, without reason, and without mercy, some bastard, some motherfucking piece of shit bully that had been making fun of Justin the entire season for no reason, and even asked him for a sexual favor, turned around at the Prom, the very last night on the schoolgrounds, and when he had finished leading Brian away from the crowd and to the car, Justin was going away as happy as ever for the fact that Brian came to the Prom, and wowed everyone, and the moment, that he went away, this fool came up behind him with a baseball bat and bashed his fucking brains out all over the floor. He was lying in a pool of blood bleeding to death, and there was nothing Brian could do about it. The thing I can't possibly understand is: How could someone hate something so much that they will attempt to kill you to get revenge? Justin didn't physically do anything to that guy, he only hurt his pride when he was in front of everyone. I think what really hurts the most, what hurts deep inside is the realization that it could be anyone. It could be Kevin, CJ, Troy, Michael, Hakeem, Jerome, Kevin or me. It could anyone of us. It could be me lying in that pool of blood staying up at this person that just broke my skull simply because I don't like him. How could anyone do that? How could they get away with it? I would simply die if I found out that anyone had suddenly killed Kevin and left him lying in a pool of blood. Why does everyone fucking care? What business is it of yours that I might suck cock, or eat pussy? Who GIVES A FUCK? Why would you do something like that to anyone? You're not living their life! You shouldn't care about what to anyone but you! I am sick and tired of everyone blaming me and the others around here because they're so fucking boring! I don't care that I'm not mainstream like everyone else. I don't care that you don't like what I do. And I don't care that you don't like who I'm fucking, if it's anyone. The entire purpose is to be who you are. I think that this show has done more for me in the course of a week that any therapist could have done. I think that by watching the show and getting to know the characters intimately, and feeling their heart, and watching their love and their hatred, feeling every moment of everyday that they're on the screen, you feel like you're a cast member. You feel like you're the one privleged enough to be in everyone's thoughts at all times, and they really make you feel like you're family. And that of course, is what makes the truth so utterly painful. I think that anyone who is gay deserves a chance to be who they are, and I don't think anyone who's not feeling what they are, is entitled to their personal opinion as to why they feel that way. And I also think that anyone who is gay and who has seen the series finale would feel just the same way as I do at this moment. The raw emotion for absolutely no reason. It just didn't make sense. And then to see Brian's face afterwards, was killer. This man who supposedly doesn't give a shit about anyone, who didn't even cry a tear when his father died, was ballawing his eyes out covered in blood. It was just wrong. There's just no other way to describe it. Just plain wrong. And I know the series is planned, and I know they put it up there for the shock value and all, but the unlying fact to the entire situation is that it could be anyone of us. And worst of all, it could be me.

The Serpent Returns for Another Strike...

Hmm...it comes to my attention that last summer in my LiveJournal account, I had wrote about a few snakes that I had met in my classes from then and how they poisoned a particular person into ruining my summer completely. I thought that perhaps with all of the new events happening and with another year going by completely, I thought that maybe I had gotten past all of that, and that maybe time had healed old wounds, but it so seems that the serpents are still crawling around in the underbrush, and they've returned for a second shot. I thought that maybe I had gotten rid of them when they blacked the world of my friend and I, but apparently I was completely wrong. But what I cannot understand for the life of me is why they feel that they must speak to me at all. I am not Eve. This is not the Garden of Eden. Far from it. I don't speak Parseltongue, (sorry Harry Potter reference there) and I certainly don't want associate with them. Unforetunately because of the way that I've chosen to go, they have to be considered in my group, and so like Joy told me last week, I have to consider everyone in my thoughts whenever I do something. But I'd rather be in a class of my own, they have to deal with those two. They feel as though they need to be cordial, and so they speak when they come near me, but I feel that it's only a commodity, and something that they feel they have to do. I'd rather wish they wouldn't. It's like they're breathing poison gall out of they mouths when they say something to me. And I don't feel that I have to return the favor by speaking back to them, but I do because it's the only nice thing to do. If I didn't, then of course, being the way they are, drama would instantly arise. Though I'm not particularly sure as to why they chose to do this to me. I'd rather not deal with it. But then again, I'm me, so it's what I get. Kinda when the train breaks down on my way to McDonald's tonight. It's just classic. Something that I would expect to happen to someone like me. *sigh* Oh well. Oh yeah, before I go, I think my Queer As Folk DVD set came in this afternoon. I'm gonna have to go and check in the morning. Bet that'll freak mom and dad out!




haha, suckers.

This Is Weird...

Okay, I havent' been able to write lately because there has been some straight up weird shit going down. First off I'm at the Huddle House and I'm sitting with some guys and we're just having a conversation/hiding out from an unknown someone, when we start having that deep theological shit, which for some reason, always ends up happening at the early morning hours at that particular resturant. We get into the talking like we always do, and next thing I know, we're discussing other people's perceptions of ourselves. And then I find myself trying to use all my intuitive skill to describe these people and the way that I see them. I ended up with a Willow Tree and an Orange.

Willow Tree would describe someone who's rooted to a particular cause or belief, but because of outside influences, they will bend to the left and the right under any kind of circumstances. And they refuse to break because at the core of their believes they know that what they're doing is right, at least to them.

Orange would describe a particular someone who has a rather tough outer shell and takes a while to "peel" but once you get past the outer layer and find out what's on the inside, meaning once you spend all the extra time to learn this person, and get inside of them and learn the ins and outs of their special personality, you feel satisfied at having learned their inner secrets.

Come to find out, I'm better at reading people than what I originally thought. I related others to Warheads candy, strawberries, and a lightning bolt, to find that they were mostly correct. But then, I suppose it was my turn to face the ridicule, and I was compared to a peacock and a bowl of fruit. For peacock, I was told that when no one is around that I lower my feathers and remain pretty silent, but when I meet someone (he described it like a friend or whoever) I make the tell-tell sign of the sqwaking and whatnot to be interpreted as high-energy intensity. In truth, I don't know if I liked the comparison, but I suppose it is correct. I try to be high-intensity for the fact that there are others who are not. So they can share off my energy and feel better about themselves. When I am at low energy, I in turn use other people's to help me mvoe on about my daily activities. But in truth, not very many people can be considered high energy for the fact that they would explode under the immense volume of pressure. And then I was compared to a "Jamican Ugli Fruit", which is an exotic combination of a tangerine and a grapefruit. The fruit itself is rather ugly on the outside (? to which he swore he wasn't calling me ugly,) and is very hard to crack, but once you open it, a flood of juice will erupt from it (supposed to represent my personality) and then when you eat the fruit, you find it is overly delicious, contrary the to the outside appearance, which is the way he explained me. In truth, I suppose I do represent that to some people, I just hope not to everyone.

Combine that with the ever increasing curiosity about one of my particular friends, and you can understand why I'm confused. From the comments at the resturant to the online tests they take, to general comments, I wonder if whether or not there's more to the story than that which is presented. In fact, I'm sure of it. And on top of that, I have a test in the morning, which is where I met someone else, who I'm starting to like, simply because he could keep up with me in regards to the amount of the intellect that I threw out. He's mad cool.

With that, I'm gonna disappear for a while.





Fruits named Ugli

(Here's a Jaimacan Ugli Fruit)



Okay I'm Convinced...

Alright, I was just about to go to bed when I read my supposed Tarot card for today dealing with my horoscope. Sometimes I think, (and that sometimes is only applicable when I read the things) that they are right on the money. This is the third time that I've read em and they've been right on the head with the details. It's really kinda scary. I just told you about the Huddle House incident, and look here, here's the horoscope:





Tuesday, July 5, 2005
aries horoscope

Your Tuesday Horoscope D'Arcee!
Inspiration about the direction your life is taking will arrive in a lucid manner. Your intuition is critical today. Have the common sense to let someone tell you how much he or she trusts you. 

I Should Not be Writing Now...

Yeah, so it's four in the morning on July the fifth, I've class at nine, and I shouldn't be writing this entry, I know that. I've got two chapters to read in Microeconomics, and a quiz to do before ten o' clock, and yet I'm here. But I just came back from a very enlightening conversation from the last four hours with a friend at Huddle House. We discussed much and I feel now that I understand much more of his mental capacity now. I can understand why he feels the way he does sometimes, and why certain things happen when I can't explain why they do. I can see things in him that I didn't see the day before, and it will definately change the way that we interact in the future, though not neccessarily in a bad way. We shared some very interesting information, and I felt afterward like perhaps I had pried too much into business that didn't concern me, but he seemed to be happy to discuss it. So in the end, I'm glad I did. Other than that, fourth of july weekend was pretty hot, I went shopping got some new jewels, some new games, and some new supplies. Speaking of which, I also got a new roomate who seems more mysterious to me than other people of which I made contact with today at lunch. I'm not sure precisely how to interact with this one, though. I'm wondering if I should come from various angles to discuss my position with him. Do I go from the angry prospective and ask if he hates me, and see the reaction? Do I go from the anxious perspective and poke at the answers? Or do I go with the bold route and straight up ask him about his page and whether we can get together some time? I don't know yet. I might not find out either. I didn't get a chance to go by there like I wanted to, because other things took precedence. But I will have to make time, I'm sure of it.

Just a Quick Update....

Okay, so it's the now officially the second, though I thought it was the first. And that means, I've got some news to report. First off, I got my grades. Hooray for me! B, B+, and an A- out that ridiculous British Lit class. That's what I'm talking bout! Give me an A for my effot! Anyway, yeah there's that. Then there's my new roomate, his name is J, and that's all I'll say. I haven't really had much time to figure him out though. We have spoken, but only during important events. Beyond that, who knows. There's the issue of that co worker at Movie gallery, when I went to movie gallery to rent Garden State (which it comes to find that that movie is not really that good, and I found myself wondering how long I could take it before I smashed my tv.) When I went down there to rent it, I found another game on sale for 10 bucks, (an MTV Music Generator of sorts) so I bought it. This fool, is gonna turn around and totally ignore the giant white sticker on the cover, and it's gonna overcharge me five bucks. I called him out on that shit too. Anyway, I started new classes today. They look interesting, none particularly too difficult if I remember to do the quizzes. And everyone from SSI is gone now, all of them and I'm here with someone else and we're just wondering where everybody went. Home, propably. Anyway, gotta go.

Sincerly,

D.