The Moon is in Aquaris

Whatever the hell that means. lol. So after the last post, there's a lot of things changing super fast, and I'm quite sure I'm ready for everything that will happen within the next three weeks. So let's see. I applied for a job from Craigslist at this IT firm RainKing, then got an email to do a test, then got a phonecall for said test and scheduled an interview the following week.

On the way to said interview, I get another email from the executive director for NCIL (the National Council on Independent Living) saying they want me to come in for an interview to be an analyst.

So I went to the interview, which I found fairly easily (I love DC metro for that) and it went really, really well I think. If all goes, as planned, they claim they will let me know of a decision in two weeks and if I'm offered a position, I will move there and start life over yet again but in a good way. So there's that.

And now I'm trying to figure out what to do about Stephen as after talking with Katyrna and Qasim, I'm not sure of the motivation. I know that relationships are hard. I get that. But if you're not even willing to put in the effort IN THE BEGINNING what makes me think I'll get anything if we start? It's just confusing. But I know what thing. When June comes, I shall have answers to it all.

In the Total Eclipse

I haven't been able to bring myself to touch this in a while because the eclipse is still going on. As I said before, getting fired from my job really did a number on me and my psyche, and I'm still trying to process this and it's three months later. Ridiculous, right? Well thus is life I suppose. I've had some interesting things happen since though. Um....I got in a huge argument with my parents over the whole being gay thing yet again and afterward, I told them that I'm never going to church with them ever again, that was pretty big.

It felt so weird saying that too. I mean I grew up in church. I think the majority of my memories from childhood are being in the church because I guess if you're black and not in the ghetto that that's where you go. I don't know. I know that I spent a large part of my time there, and it makes me feel like it was to no avail. I think I agree with the MSN report that said that forcing religion on to children has no place because it doesn't change whether or not your child is going to end up as Mother Theresa or as Dexter.

But I told them I wasn't going and right on the outskirts of Easter. So it was weird when my brother (always the ever-dutiful one) got up and went and I chose to sit here and stare at the sunshine. And it was fine. There was no lightning bolts, no wrath of Hell, just peace and quiet.

So in other news, still no work, though I've been putting in applications left and right like a mad person. I'm just hoping something pans out quickly. Who knows how all of this will end up. I don't know. I'm just trying to think about it one day at a time. And it's really disconcerting how the whole concept of going to school is supposed to help you to be a better person and to get you the job you deserve, but that doesn't look like it would be the right thing. Who knows.

I've started seeing a lot of old friends these days, went to hang out with AJ of all people a few days ago, and I had to reaccess myself when he called me a few weeks ago. That situation is....complicated. I mean I think it's really interesting how people can just act like nothing was wrong for years and years go back to talking about you, when just the sight of their face makes you want to punch them on the spot. And I know I'm guilty of this. I wanted to knock AJ out for years after that mess with the Iraqi conflict. I hated myself for it, I wrote poetry and short stories about it, and it made my life miserable that the the fact that a person who you know for 13 years can just up and throw your friendship away on some bullshit. But he called me and I didn't have time to go into it, and I didn't feel like it. Will I ever tell him? I don't know. Maybe never is the right time. Maybe he never has to know. But it's just awkward being in his prescence again. Speaking of awkward, while there, I found out that John Smith, our old friend was convicted of child molestation or something and is now serving time in Virginia. Ugh. You think you know someone and...you don't.