I Dare You Bitches. Try it.
Fuck them. That's all I can say. Fuck them. I hope to God that they all feel like I do right now. I hope that they with all of their heart to do somethinng and they get denied, over and over again. I hope that it's something they want so bad, they can't sleep at night, and lie awake yearning for it. I hope that they wait for years and years for a chance and when they finally get it, I hope they fail and fail hard. Give them a taste of their own medicine. They're very lucky I don't know chemistry. Or this would be a hell of a lot different. Animosity, my ass. How DARE they play me to my motherfucking face. The whole ordeal was nothing but LIP SERVICE. They were all nice and smiles when I was around them knowing damn well the whole time I didn't have a chance. Fuck. Those hypocritical-broke-ass-national-wanna-be-motherfuckers. Fuck that shit! I would have hoped I got kudos points for heading back for the third time. So out of respect, I won't name no names, but you KNOW WHO YOU ARE. I can't do this. Never again. Ever. And I DARE you bitches to say something. I FUCKING dare you.
Wednesday 30 January 2008
Sunday 27 January 2008
The Omega Chronicles 3
January 27, 2008 - Sunday
The Omega Chronicles: 3
Current mood: distraught
Okay so as far as I know, this may be the last blog I ever post on this subject. Last night was the final straw and the interviews down in the band room in Moore Hall and boy was it a doozy, so to speak. When I got there, I found out that they were about 15 minutes behind, so they asked everyone to wait in the hall. Coincidentally, everyone was in black and blue which I thought was really interesting, but yeah. So anyway my turn came at about 9:00 and I entered the room totally unaware of what was waiting for me. As usual, they gave off the impending aura of doom that they're so known for, though this time around there wasn't this sense of damnation that they normally have every time you walk in there. I remember rushing Phi Mu Alpha in the Spring of 2007, and that was crucial. You walked in there and they had candles on the floor in triangles and it was very creepy looking, so it was extremely intimidating. This time though, they just had you against the world, so to speak.
Anyway, the moment I got situated, the barrage started. Ryan asked the majority of the questions, I guess since he's the pledge class leader or whatever. And the questions I got asked were quite interesting. Many of which I was not expecting. For example, they asked me about what I knew about the fraternity itself, which I just went to look and surprisingly, I got most of the answers I gave correctly about Ossian Everett Mills and 1898, with 200 chapters and near 200,000 members. I got questions concerning the current state of my hair to which I stated that since I'm trying to grow braids, it has to go long. They asked me how I felt about Efrain and Josh Gay. I wasn't expecting either of these questions, and I have to admit I'm curious as to why they would ask something like that. I'm guessing that could be because they could be my big brothers or something like that. One of the interesting questions I was asked was whether or not I felt like I was extremely accomplished. Now I know what the answer they were looking for was, and I responded with the fact that "No, I didn't feel that way. I've done things that I'm proud of, but I still have a lot left to do in my life." They seemed generally pleased with my answer and kept going on. I also got asked about what I knew about the "situation" in the spring of last year when they almost lost their chapter here at the school due to the bullshit they were pulling behind people's backs. I don't know much, but I told them generally what I knew about the situation, which isn't a whole lot. I was also asked since I'm graduating in May about what I could offer the fraternity as an alumni. My answer I have to admit was pretty good. I admit I haven't thought about that question, but the answer seemed natural to me. I would give the younger brothers actual real world experience into what the real world was like, and since I'm not part of this large gap in age like some of them, I could get closer to them, to allow them to understand better. I was of course asked why I came back, and I said that it was like a personal mission to me before I left the university, which was attacked by the guy on the end who asked me if it was just for the concept of myself or for the brotherhood. I replied that since it was my last semester here at Pembroke, I didn't have time to act like it was for myself, and that I wanted to be involved in something that was bigger than myself outside of the university.
All in all, my answers were good, and I thought they were pleased with the majority of them. In particular, one of the brothers, though I can't remember his name off the bat, told me he was very impressed with the fact that I came back AGAIN this time around, and that he thought I was well-spoken and he was happy I was there. But heart of the matter is this. Phi Mu Alpha is one of those groups where you would feel like everything is okay like you've done everything you've supposed to have done and that you gave them exactly what they wanted. But the truth of the matter is, you never truly know what the fuck is going on back in their minds. I can't tell you how many times I've finished an interview thinking that it was going to be great and then you get that bomb dropped on you via Efrain (the first year, in a side-comment, I may add) or via Matt Blue (the second year) and it hurts really bad. So while I felt that my answers were heartfelt and appropriate to the situation, knowing them, they may just decide they just generally don't like me, and POOF! my chances are gone with the wind, just like that. So now....I really don't know. And I'm really nervous and scared and I don't like waiting in the dark for anything. I like to know what's coming for me, so that way I can prepare accordingly for any challenge ahead. But this is something new entirely. But I'm guessing I'll find out the real honest to god truth this evening, since today is the last of the interviews. God, I hate waiting!!!!
The Omega Chronicles: 3
Current mood: distraught
Okay so as far as I know, this may be the last blog I ever post on this subject. Last night was the final straw and the interviews down in the band room in Moore Hall and boy was it a doozy, so to speak. When I got there, I found out that they were about 15 minutes behind, so they asked everyone to wait in the hall. Coincidentally, everyone was in black and blue which I thought was really interesting, but yeah. So anyway my turn came at about 9:00 and I entered the room totally unaware of what was waiting for me. As usual, they gave off the impending aura of doom that they're so known for, though this time around there wasn't this sense of damnation that they normally have every time you walk in there. I remember rushing Phi Mu Alpha in the Spring of 2007, and that was crucial. You walked in there and they had candles on the floor in triangles and it was very creepy looking, so it was extremely intimidating. This time though, they just had you against the world, so to speak.
Anyway, the moment I got situated, the barrage started. Ryan asked the majority of the questions, I guess since he's the pledge class leader or whatever. And the questions I got asked were quite interesting. Many of which I was not expecting. For example, they asked me about what I knew about the fraternity itself, which I just went to look and surprisingly, I got most of the answers I gave correctly about Ossian Everett Mills and 1898, with 200 chapters and near 200,000 members. I got questions concerning the current state of my hair to which I stated that since I'm trying to grow braids, it has to go long. They asked me how I felt about Efrain and Josh Gay. I wasn't expecting either of these questions, and I have to admit I'm curious as to why they would ask something like that. I'm guessing that could be because they could be my big brothers or something like that. One of the interesting questions I was asked was whether or not I felt like I was extremely accomplished. Now I know what the answer they were looking for was, and I responded with the fact that "No, I didn't feel that way. I've done things that I'm proud of, but I still have a lot left to do in my life." They seemed generally pleased with my answer and kept going on. I also got asked about what I knew about the "situation" in the spring of last year when they almost lost their chapter here at the school due to the bullshit they were pulling behind people's backs. I don't know much, but I told them generally what I knew about the situation, which isn't a whole lot. I was also asked since I'm graduating in May about what I could offer the fraternity as an alumni. My answer I have to admit was pretty good. I admit I haven't thought about that question, but the answer seemed natural to me. I would give the younger brothers actual real world experience into what the real world was like, and since I'm not part of this large gap in age like some of them, I could get closer to them, to allow them to understand better. I was of course asked why I came back, and I said that it was like a personal mission to me before I left the university, which was attacked by the guy on the end who asked me if it was just for the concept of myself or for the brotherhood. I replied that since it was my last semester here at Pembroke, I didn't have time to act like it was for myself, and that I wanted to be involved in something that was bigger than myself outside of the university.
All in all, my answers were good, and I thought they were pleased with the majority of them. In particular, one of the brothers, though I can't remember his name off the bat, told me he was very impressed with the fact that I came back AGAIN this time around, and that he thought I was well-spoken and he was happy I was there. But heart of the matter is this. Phi Mu Alpha is one of those groups where you would feel like everything is okay like you've done everything you've supposed to have done and that you gave them exactly what they wanted. But the truth of the matter is, you never truly know what the fuck is going on back in their minds. I can't tell you how many times I've finished an interview thinking that it was going to be great and then you get that bomb dropped on you via Efrain (the first year, in a side-comment, I may add) or via Matt Blue (the second year) and it hurts really bad. So while I felt that my answers were heartfelt and appropriate to the situation, knowing them, they may just decide they just generally don't like me, and POOF! my chances are gone with the wind, just like that. So now....I really don't know. And I'm really nervous and scared and I don't like waiting in the dark for anything. I like to know what's coming for me, so that way I can prepare accordingly for any challenge ahead. But this is something new entirely. But I'm guessing I'll find out the real honest to god truth this evening, since today is the last of the interviews. God, I hate waiting!!!!
Wednesday 23 January 2008
The Omega Chronicles 2
So last night was REAL interesting. So after having his mom tell him he wouldn't be able to participate in the fraternity, Clayton worked out some kind of deal with her that said that he could stay over at my place on Tuesday nights and head back early in the morning on Wednesday. Ordinarily, this wouldn't be a problem, but it seems like something new has happen to mess up his chances. He realizes that coming from Fayetteville to Pembroke and back (about a 45 minute trip one way) cost about 20.00 in gas everytime he does it. And with this fraternity business, he'd be going back and forth (in the event he actually gets a bid) at least two to three times a week. Averaging anywhere from 60 to 80.00 a week in gasoline. Times that by three months and thats 720.00 in gasoline strictly for Phi Mu Alpha. And the thing is, he only makes 60.00 a week. So...thats gonna be a problem. Meaning, he may not get to do it, even after all of this trouble of putting it together.
As far as it goes with me, last night Clayton showed up and we went over to Ryan's apartment (which is adversely on the second floor) and found most everyone there just chilling around not doing much at all. The thing was, everything was so....quiet! I didn't expect that in the least bit. I remember heading over to PJ's place when he was in Pembroke Pointe, and his parties were always crazy, loud and drunk. They just seemed to be so low key. So much so that I had to state: "What the hell is everyone doing? Having a moment of silence for Heath? I mean, damn!" So anyway, we got there and I have to say I pretty much turned the party around single-handedly. Before I was going up there, I was thinking about how I should conduct myself, given that at the two other previous times I've participated in this little events, I would just keep myself off to the side, and observe, but last night I was in the mind-set of FUCK IT. This is my LAST semester, so they can all kiss my black ass. I'm through being anti-social and feeling like I don't belong there. So I went in there and we laughed and talked about everything from Angelina Jolie to how fine everyone thought Jessica Biel was. Overall, it was good night. I'm just hoping that realization will come back through at the end of the week when it really counts. But...with these guys, who knows?
As far as it goes with me, last night Clayton showed up and we went over to Ryan's apartment (which is adversely on the second floor) and found most everyone there just chilling around not doing much at all. The thing was, everything was so....quiet! I didn't expect that in the least bit. I remember heading over to PJ's place when he was in Pembroke Pointe, and his parties were always crazy, loud and drunk. They just seemed to be so low key. So much so that I had to state: "What the hell is everyone doing? Having a moment of silence for Heath? I mean, damn!" So anyway, we got there and I have to say I pretty much turned the party around single-handedly. Before I was going up there, I was thinking about how I should conduct myself, given that at the two other previous times I've participated in this little events, I would just keep myself off to the side, and observe, but last night I was in the mind-set of FUCK IT. This is my LAST semester, so they can all kiss my black ass. I'm through being anti-social and feeling like I don't belong there. So I went in there and we laughed and talked about everything from Angelina Jolie to how fine everyone thought Jessica Biel was. Overall, it was good night. I'm just hoping that realization will come back through at the end of the week when it really counts. But...with these guys, who knows?
R.I.P. Heath Ledger
I just found out that one of my crushes the famous Heath Ledger, has died from a suicide/drug overdose. Immediately my mind says: WHY? He was SO fine. All I can say about that is damn, Heath. Damn. Your fans miss you.
Tuesday 22 January 2008
The Omega Chronicles
This is what I'm calling my current dilemma dealing with Phi Mu Alpha. The way this thing works, the situation could be over as soon as Sunday morning, or it may continue all the way up until...who knows. So anyway, this is my first official entry into this interesting realm that I've traversed twice beforehand. But somehow this road is different. I know that the other two times I've traveled here it was always the expectance that the anticipation would dissipate and something else would take it place that would have allowed me to feel the joy that I've been waiting awhile for. Before I decided to go this meeting tonight, I truly had to think inside myself about what it is about this and why I want to do it. I've always been a stickler for the philosophy that says that you shouldn't do anything unless it makes you completely happy and you feel fulfilled and well accomplished for doing it. Listening to the group tonight, it made me feel for a moment that there wouldn't be anything outside of that campus that would be worth it for me to participate in what they have in store for us. But I realized that it would have to be about me and not them if I'm doing this. I have no idea what they plan to make us do or for what reason, but I realize that if I do this, it would have to be because I felt that it was appropriate for me, and that I can accomplish something within myself.
When I came in tonight, I had been preoccupied during the past week with the feelings of how I was going to fix my face when I came into the meeting. I'm sure the brother of Phi Mu Alpha are well aware of how I felt when I came in there. They have to know how hurt I was to have to sit in there and watch all this bullshit again hearing the same old pitch. And then as I was sitting there, I was thinking about the fact that I truly didn't care anymore. Either they're going to let me do the stupid thing, or they won't. Either way, it's not going to stop me from graduating and all of that. The funny thing is that they seem to be softer than usual. Apparently the bullshit of Spring 07 caught up with them and they feel like they can't get away with the same old shit they always had. But either way, it is what it is. We shall strictly have to see.
Also as a side note, I met up with Michael from Vanderbuilt tonight randomly and we had an interesting little session. Hmm....and also I found out that my friend Shruti from high school now attends UNC Pembroke, so I will have to find her as soon as humanly possible. Speaking of which, I'm talking to her now.
When I came in tonight, I had been preoccupied during the past week with the feelings of how I was going to fix my face when I came into the meeting. I'm sure the brother of Phi Mu Alpha are well aware of how I felt when I came in there. They have to know how hurt I was to have to sit in there and watch all this bullshit again hearing the same old pitch. And then as I was sitting there, I was thinking about the fact that I truly didn't care anymore. Either they're going to let me do the stupid thing, or they won't. Either way, it's not going to stop me from graduating and all of that. The funny thing is that they seem to be softer than usual. Apparently the bullshit of Spring 07 caught up with them and they feel like they can't get away with the same old shit they always had. But either way, it is what it is. We shall strictly have to see.
Also as a side note, I met up with Michael from Vanderbuilt tonight randomly and we had an interesting little session. Hmm....and also I found out that my friend Shruti from high school now attends UNC Pembroke, so I will have to find her as soon as humanly possible. Speaking of which, I'm talking to her now.
Monday 21 January 2008
The Flood Kick the Bucket in Spanish
103 DAYS LEFT AND COUNTING....
And that sums up this weekend. I went to Fayetteville with Clayton and Jason and we ended up seeing the much-talked-about "Cloverfield" which was very interesting, I might add. Kinda like a Universal Studios adventure that lasted for 2 hours, but that made your head hurt and your eyes blurry from all the camera-action. The monster uncannily looks like a perfect cross between The Flood from Halo and the monsters in Lost Planet, as it lays waste to Manhattan. Unforetunately, my trip there was cut short by the arrival of snow here in North Carolina, which though it is not a common occurance, is one enough to make even the most secure drivers wary. Mainly because people in NC don't know shit about driving in it. So I decided against the wishes of the others, to ask Clayton to take me back home. Which he did. After coming back, I headed out with Matt and the others to go see "The Bucket List" with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. That was a very interesting movie. Not that the premises behind it were original in the least bit. Two old men that find out they're terminal decide to make a list of all the things they want to do before they die and do it. The interesting part was the effect it had on everyone else that was watching it.
I went with a plethora of other guys. Five of them who are all fairly macho, to varying degrees. And by the end of the movie, I swear I could hear each of them silently sniffling in the back. I'm not gonna lie. I was slow weeping myself at the movie's end. It's a good film with a good message and it's sad how it ended. I just thought it was highly amusing that everyone in the theatre, regardless of how tough and macho you were supposed to be could appreciate the tenderness that came from the film. You couldn't help but feel your eyes get a little moist by the end because of the film. It was a very touching flick. Unforetunately, what happened afterward made me forget about the sappiness and turn to a more bitter side.
We then decided to hit up a place called Del Sol for dinner, which apparently used to be an equal part of Mi Casita resturant in Fayetteville a few years back. Due to a family dispute, the places split and now each has it's own name, but the same food and menu (interesting?). So anyway, it wasn't my first time going there, however we went in and sat down and immediately there was a problem. The waitress that had come to the table was...in a word...Mexican. Not that there's anything wrong with that of course. But the fact is, she was not a very good waitress, in that she could barely speak English. Enough to take our order! Like I said, I have nothing against people from other countries coming here to work. I understand that everyone's got to make a living and everyone has to eat, but what the means, I guess you'll be cooking and not taking orders. If you're going to work directly with customers dealing with the public, then your English level needs to be at LEAST an 8 out of 10. There is no exception to that rule. If it's not, you could lose business because of it. Why the hell would I want to come back to your resturant if you couldn't understand a damn thing I asked for the whole night I was there? And it wasn't like I was asking for some incredibly complicated meal. I spoke very slowly in complete sentences, so that way she could understand the order (after she totally messed up the drinks, I knew that I had to slow down to talk to her). "I want a number one with an extra taco and more sweet tea." that's all the order was. And she couldnt' get it. All I heard was "que esto?" It made me feel like converting to the Spanish that I knew to place the order like this: "Yo quiero un numero uno, con un mas taco y tea con azucar. okay?" It got to the point where she had to ask another waiter who was near by to translate our order into Spanish for her to understand it. That's a SERIOUS mistake in my book Why the hell was she taking our order? Why couldn't they have a regular waiter who spoke good English to serve us? Turns out, he ended up having to take over for her, since she couldn't understand. But that was okay. When it came time to tip, I left her ass UNO DOLLAR. I'm sure she could understand that. I shouldn't have to repeat myself eighteen times to ensure that my order is understood. That's damn ridiculous. Maybe in the future, she'll get it.
And that sums up this weekend. I went to Fayetteville with Clayton and Jason and we ended up seeing the much-talked-about "Cloverfield" which was very interesting, I might add. Kinda like a Universal Studios adventure that lasted for 2 hours, but that made your head hurt and your eyes blurry from all the camera-action. The monster uncannily looks like a perfect cross between The Flood from Halo and the monsters in Lost Planet, as it lays waste to Manhattan. Unforetunately, my trip there was cut short by the arrival of snow here in North Carolina, which though it is not a common occurance, is one enough to make even the most secure drivers wary. Mainly because people in NC don't know shit about driving in it. So I decided against the wishes of the others, to ask Clayton to take me back home. Which he did. After coming back, I headed out with Matt and the others to go see "The Bucket List" with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. That was a very interesting movie. Not that the premises behind it were original in the least bit. Two old men that find out they're terminal decide to make a list of all the things they want to do before they die and do it. The interesting part was the effect it had on everyone else that was watching it.
I went with a plethora of other guys. Five of them who are all fairly macho, to varying degrees. And by the end of the movie, I swear I could hear each of them silently sniffling in the back. I'm not gonna lie. I was slow weeping myself at the movie's end. It's a good film with a good message and it's sad how it ended. I just thought it was highly amusing that everyone in the theatre, regardless of how tough and macho you were supposed to be could appreciate the tenderness that came from the film. You couldn't help but feel your eyes get a little moist by the end because of the film. It was a very touching flick. Unforetunately, what happened afterward made me forget about the sappiness and turn to a more bitter side.
We then decided to hit up a place called Del Sol for dinner, which apparently used to be an equal part of Mi Casita resturant in Fayetteville a few years back. Due to a family dispute, the places split and now each has it's own name, but the same food and menu (interesting?). So anyway, it wasn't my first time going there, however we went in and sat down and immediately there was a problem. The waitress that had come to the table was...in a word...Mexican. Not that there's anything wrong with that of course. But the fact is, she was not a very good waitress, in that she could barely speak English. Enough to take our order! Like I said, I have nothing against people from other countries coming here to work. I understand that everyone's got to make a living and everyone has to eat, but what the means, I guess you'll be cooking and not taking orders. If you're going to work directly with customers dealing with the public, then your English level needs to be at LEAST an 8 out of 10. There is no exception to that rule. If it's not, you could lose business because of it. Why the hell would I want to come back to your resturant if you couldn't understand a damn thing I asked for the whole night I was there? And it wasn't like I was asking for some incredibly complicated meal. I spoke very slowly in complete sentences, so that way she could understand the order (after she totally messed up the drinks, I knew that I had to slow down to talk to her). "I want a number one with an extra taco and more sweet tea." that's all the order was. And she couldnt' get it. All I heard was "que esto?" It made me feel like converting to the Spanish that I knew to place the order like this: "Yo quiero un numero uno, con un mas taco y tea con azucar. okay?" It got to the point where she had to ask another waiter who was near by to translate our order into Spanish for her to understand it. That's a SERIOUS mistake in my book Why the hell was she taking our order? Why couldn't they have a regular waiter who spoke good English to serve us? Turns out, he ended up having to take over for her, since she couldn't understand. But that was okay. When it came time to tip, I left her ass UNO DOLLAR. I'm sure she could understand that. I shouldn't have to repeat myself eighteen times to ensure that my order is understood. That's damn ridiculous. Maybe in the future, she'll get it.
Wednesday 16 January 2008
Inhale....and HOLD.....
January 16, 2008 - Wednesday
Inhale.....and HOLD..........
Current mood: worried
It is done. I've finally sent off that monsterous piece of work called a graduate application to FIDM. Words cannot express how much I want to go to this school. It's everything to me. I want to be able to do this so bad, that I can practically taste the fabric in my mouth as I'm pinning together dresses or working on a new runway routine. I can't believe that in a few weeks time I could know that I'm going to California for seemingly the rest of my life. it's like a dream that's moving in slow-motion and I haven't gotten to the part where I wake up yet. And yet it is simultaneously yet the longest waiting period in my life that I've had yet. I've never wanted anything this badly before, I don't think. When it came to college, I knew that I could just put in some applications and wait for one of them to produce some results. Grad school isn't like that in that you have to choose the specific one that's right for you and go with it, with the hopes that you're what they're looking for. FIDM is truly the only place I want to go, and I hope and pray that they will look at the materials I've sent them in the light that it could be something that I want for myself. But I won't know anything about what's going on until they decide to call me and reach a decision which I expect could take a while. In the mean time, I've got to find this damn phone....
Inhale.....and HOLD..........
Current mood: worried
It is done. I've finally sent off that monsterous piece of work called a graduate application to FIDM. Words cannot express how much I want to go to this school. It's everything to me. I want to be able to do this so bad, that I can practically taste the fabric in my mouth as I'm pinning together dresses or working on a new runway routine. I can't believe that in a few weeks time I could know that I'm going to California for seemingly the rest of my life. it's like a dream that's moving in slow-motion and I haven't gotten to the part where I wake up yet. And yet it is simultaneously yet the longest waiting period in my life that I've had yet. I've never wanted anything this badly before, I don't think. When it came to college, I knew that I could just put in some applications and wait for one of them to produce some results. Grad school isn't like that in that you have to choose the specific one that's right for you and go with it, with the hopes that you're what they're looking for. FIDM is truly the only place I want to go, and I hope and pray that they will look at the materials I've sent them in the light that it could be something that I want for myself. But I won't know anything about what's going on until they decide to call me and reach a decision which I expect could take a while. In the mean time, I've got to find this damn phone....
PMA (It's the Bi-Yearly Curse)
Okay so this is about the situation going on with Phi Mu Alpha. You remember? that music fraternity? that has burned me twice already? Well I just about forgot all about them when out of the blue I log onto Facebook (which I'm quickly getting over) and see this group called those interested in Phi Mu Alpha. So I click on the link and see this group for a bunch of guys interested in attending their interest session and I'm mildly amused, not thinking anymore about the subject. But as I check my inbox, I see that I have a message and clicking it lo and behold it was an invitation to join the group as well. (keep in mind, the group was an invitation only type of deal from the administrators) Well that brings me to the point of this blog? What is the deal with them? I'm sure they know, in fact I'm sure they're POSITIVE about the fact that I'm angry, and not even angry, that's the wrong word. I'm LIVID about what they pulled on me last year and the year before that. This is the third time I'd be coming out for them, and even though I don't want anymore to do with the group, I can't seem to break myself away from the association. I want this so bad. I want to be in something that I can feel associated with and more than just on a friendship level. I know many of the guys there, and I feel like I'm nothing more than some passerby at the window of what they have going on. I want to feel like part of what they have going on, simply because I know I could. But I haven't be given the chance to do anything about it, and it's annoying as shit because I don't know what else to do or say to change the situation. So I don't know. The meeting isn't until the 21st, which means I have less than a week to decide what I'm gonna do about this situation. I wish I could show this to you guys and get some kind of feedback about the situation because I'm truly torn in this decision. I want to do this because so many people telling me that I couldn't, I want to do it to prove to my parents that I can do this and for other people like Clayton who had to leave to get over the pain they caused. I want to do for it for Travis and his memory as a memoriam for the reason that he meant so much to me. At this point at my career at Pembroke, since I'm graduating in May, it wouldn't make any sense to be joining it to show off letters (even though that is a pretty big perk) but now it's for more than that. But...I don't know. I just don't know.
Been A Long Time...Shouldn'ta Left You...
Wow. It's been over a month since I last put a blog in this thing. It's a new year so I need a new format, hence the new MySpace page. A lot has occured, and it's very interesting to see what's going to happen next. I'm hesistant because I'm wondering that if I finally get down my current thoughts on paper, when I put the last final period on this thing, does that mean that my current state of affairs is over? I certainly hope not. So maybe I won't end this blog then...But let's see where we can fill in some gaps.
First off, the holiday break: It was good. Not great. But good. I got to go home after a long drawn out busride back to Raleigh where my mom met me and got looked at by some triffling bus boys. I stayed at home and chilled with the family before introducing them to the 2007 game of Life, where they indulged in the coolness of using the new Milton Bradley credit cards. It was interesting to say the least. This of course, (family time at the table) evolved into a full blown discussion about sexuality leading to my assertion (good for me!) against the so-called parental tyranny they've been excuting over my life for the past three years. I told them basically that I felt like I was doing really good in my life and that I didn't need to feel the negativity from their side anymore because it was basically dragging me down. After some screaming, much talking and some denial, I got them to at least attempt to understand the situation better, and I moved on. For Christmas, I got an mp4 player that records and takes pictures, some designer jeans, a fedora, some cologne, an Angelina Jolie poster and the new and old Halloween flicks. The grandparents came over and we enjoyed a cool if not civil dinner between them before they vanished, and life moved on. I came back to school afterwards, and that was that.
School has since then started up again and I ran into some major drama back here. First being that Dr. Vela (whom I've previously liked and admired) has really messed me up on this one. The same Shakespeare grade that I've been asking for since December has yet to show up, and I needed it in time for a graduate school review on my application. Though I've pleaded with him several times, I have yet to recieve any kind of grade, and at this point in the game, I don't care anymore. I'm gonna send my application off with or without the consent. I have my letters (which were glowing) and things are good. The school played some major bullshit with classes, forgetting that I pay for school via VR and with this forgetfulness, they dropped me resulting in the cancellation of my schooling. I quickly fixed this problem, and went about my business. The classes are good, though the workload is getting to be a bit problematic. This is more work than I think I've ever had at the beginning of a semester, and it's a little crazy, so I'll have to ask for a tutor for my Physical Science class. I could care less about actually achieving a good grade for it (though I'd like to) but I just need to pass it to be done for good. So that's that.
Frankie's left the school which shocked me kinda interestingly due to problems with Financial Aid. The funny thing I would've been in Frankie's situation long before now if I hadn't of moved in here when I did. This is just another one of those the Lord looking out kinda things. Everything is working according to plan.
Believe it or not, this issue with PMA (that I thought was over) is not. That will have to come at another blog, to really go into that one.
Anything else I missed? Hmmm not for this blog...
First off, the holiday break: It was good. Not great. But good. I got to go home after a long drawn out busride back to Raleigh where my mom met me and got looked at by some triffling bus boys. I stayed at home and chilled with the family before introducing them to the 2007 game of Life, where they indulged in the coolness of using the new Milton Bradley credit cards. It was interesting to say the least. This of course, (family time at the table) evolved into a full blown discussion about sexuality leading to my assertion (good for me!) against the so-called parental tyranny they've been excuting over my life for the past three years. I told them basically that I felt like I was doing really good in my life and that I didn't need to feel the negativity from their side anymore because it was basically dragging me down. After some screaming, much talking and some denial, I got them to at least attempt to understand the situation better, and I moved on. For Christmas, I got an mp4 player that records and takes pictures, some designer jeans, a fedora, some cologne, an Angelina Jolie poster and the new and old Halloween flicks. The grandparents came over and we enjoyed a cool if not civil dinner between them before they vanished, and life moved on. I came back to school afterwards, and that was that.
School has since then started up again and I ran into some major drama back here. First being that Dr. Vela (whom I've previously liked and admired) has really messed me up on this one. The same Shakespeare grade that I've been asking for since December has yet to show up, and I needed it in time for a graduate school review on my application. Though I've pleaded with him several times, I have yet to recieve any kind of grade, and at this point in the game, I don't care anymore. I'm gonna send my application off with or without the consent. I have my letters (which were glowing) and things are good. The school played some major bullshit with classes, forgetting that I pay for school via VR and with this forgetfulness, they dropped me resulting in the cancellation of my schooling. I quickly fixed this problem, and went about my business. The classes are good, though the workload is getting to be a bit problematic. This is more work than I think I've ever had at the beginning of a semester, and it's a little crazy, so I'll have to ask for a tutor for my Physical Science class. I could care less about actually achieving a good grade for it (though I'd like to) but I just need to pass it to be done for good. So that's that.
Frankie's left the school which shocked me kinda interestingly due to problems with Financial Aid. The funny thing I would've been in Frankie's situation long before now if I hadn't of moved in here when I did. This is just another one of those the Lord looking out kinda things. Everything is working according to plan.
Believe it or not, this issue with PMA (that I thought was over) is not. That will have to come at another blog, to really go into that one.
Anything else I missed? Hmmm not for this blog...
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