Tuesday 30 December 2008
Oh My God. I May Seriously Have to Kill Someone Tonight. No Lie.
Okay so I don't have a lot of time and I can't really go into it right now, but I'm scared. Not for me, but for my friend Julia. She calls me up at 2 in the morning just now crying saying that she's had a fight with her boyfriend David and that the police were involved and that she has to move all her stuff out of his place by 6 tomorrow. WHAT THE FUCK???? She's lucky that A) I still have a place for us to stay in and B) that I'm cool enough to let her come here. I don't know what the fuck is going on over there but I just thought about it because she asked me if I could take tomorrow off of work, and I'm guessing that's because we'll probably have to go over and pack her stuff up and put it in her car. If that's the case fine, but if I'm going over there, I'm taking a knife. If he even tries to put his hand on her....I swear. I may have to kill him. I WILL not let him hurt my friend. I'll claim self-defense all damn day if I have to. We'll just have to wait and see so I can find out what the hell is wrong with her. Though I knew something was gonna go back when she called a week ago talking about the problems she was having with David being at work all the time. That's what happens when you get involved with a hotel manager and a NASA scientist. But more later. I've got to prepare for this. Holy shit.
Friday 26 December 2008
ARRRRRRGGGGGGAAAAHHHHH!!!!
I swear if one more person mentions about having a fiance, getting married or being with someone, I'm gonna lose it. I swear to GOD!!!!!
Tuesday 23 December 2008
This Is the Most Anti-Christmas, EVER.
Okay so here it is December 23rd and this is the most anti-Christmas I've ever had. I figure that it's probably the first in a long line of anti-holidays but I didn't expect for this to come so early. You hear about stuff happening like this when you're 40 and 50 because you choose not to celebrate, not because things don't work out that way. But just for a little update, let's see here. So I don't work at GMMB anymore (that actually ended a few days after I wrote that last blog, but it wasn't like it was any I did-thank God- they just ran out of things for me to do) and I thought my stint at DOL was over and done with, but lo and behold, Margaret from DOL called me back the Monday after I left on the 8th to tell me that Gordon had decided to extend my internship here at VETS until March 31st, which is a great thing. Coupled with the fact that she and her company Premiere Consulting would pick me up (though thinking about it, I probably should've went with them since they'd be paying me a crap load of more money but the job wasn't nearly as stable) in April so that's a good thing.
I went and had an interview at the Department of Interior a few weeks ago, and it went really went I think Tamia's (the lady I've been working with from the Metro) really liked me and she wants to hire me in January. So I had to secure my schedule A letter which I picked up today so I can fax it to them and I can get that started. It will be really really nice to have two forms of income again, cause shit is getting a lot tighter nowadays. But yeah that's that.
In the man department some rather interesting developments have appeared. On one front, I haven't heard a thing from Jose (I want my plate back, dammit), but it's cool because that has been replaced with Vernon, Victor, Bill and Craig. None of whom I'm talking to seriously mind you but between myself Bill and Craig, there seems to be an interesting connection (and one of these days I'm sure something's going to happen). So yeah.
But now I'm just chilling and hanging out pissed that I can't go to Florida to see my family and Je'Lynn, but eh that's life right? Oh yeah. I had almost forgot since the last time I did a blog, I decided to apply to two grad schools one in London (Roehampton) and one in Canada (UBC) and I got accpeted into Roehampton! Still waiting to hear from UBC though we're supposed to hear from them soon, and the suspense is killing me completely.
I went and had an interview at the Department of Interior a few weeks ago, and it went really went I think Tamia's (the lady I've been working with from the Metro) really liked me and she wants to hire me in January. So I had to secure my schedule A letter which I picked up today so I can fax it to them and I can get that started. It will be really really nice to have two forms of income again, cause shit is getting a lot tighter nowadays. But yeah that's that.
In the man department some rather interesting developments have appeared. On one front, I haven't heard a thing from Jose (I want my plate back, dammit), but it's cool because that has been replaced with Vernon, Victor, Bill and Craig. None of whom I'm talking to seriously mind you but between myself Bill and Craig, there seems to be an interesting connection (and one of these days I'm sure something's going to happen). So yeah.
But now I'm just chilling and hanging out pissed that I can't go to Florida to see my family and Je'Lynn, but eh that's life right? Oh yeah. I had almost forgot since the last time I did a blog, I decided to apply to two grad schools one in London (Roehampton) and one in Canada (UBC) and I got accpeted into Roehampton! Still waiting to hear from UBC though we're supposed to hear from them soon, and the suspense is killing me completely.
Wednesday 10 December 2008
And Now a Word on Ice.
I was born and raised in Ohio. This is not a proud fact, in fact it's one that I'd rather ignore in a desperate attempt to forget that part of my childhood and move on to better places, like for instance North Carolina. But...that doesn't change the fact that yes, I was still born in Ohio. This is a place where around September it starts getting noticeably colder but nothing is really wrong till about the third week of October when the snow starts coming down in a little flurries followed by massive flakes then a blizzard or two before the entire thing stops around March. I left Ohio when I was nine and we moved to North Carolina where they very rarely ever have snow except maybe once every four years and it normally isn't that bad.
Well today was bad. I don't live in NC anymore. Back in May I made the decision to move to DC and while the weather here hasn't been the paradise I was secretly hoping for, it hasn't been down right apocalyptic either. Until today. I left my apartment to go get my hair done at the salon down the street. I went and left my gloves thinking it wasn't a big deal and on the way down it was cold but tolerable, as I went, did what I had to do and left around five.
Oh. My. God.
Temperature had dropped and I realized later that the weather channel had issued a wind chill alert for the area. It had dropped to 18 but with the wind chill, that was reduced to 7 degrees. Suddenly I had to roll home for 30 minutes in 7 degree weather. Shit. The way home was completely and utterly brutal. I have never felt pain like that before, and I in no way want to experience it again. Getting cold is kinda weird in that it starts kind of refreshing when you leave a building the blast hits you, it's oddly cooling since the human body stays a constantly near 100 all the time. So going outside after being inside all day feels nice for about ten minutes or so in especially cold weather. But then from that point, you feel yourself starting to get numb, and that's okay because it doesn't feel bad just odd. At this point, this is when you should get indoors to avoid painful reprocussions, but I didn't have a choice as I had to roll a little over a mile back to the apartment and had nowhere to go. After the numbness starts to wear off, there's a throb and it starts pulsing underneath the skin and you can feel a burning sensation at the edges of your fingertips that starts to prick at something you can't reach. The fire continues to spread as pain starts radiating from your hands and you struggle to find somewhere to put them, to shield them from the cold, but there's nowhere in my position because I need them to navigate. By the time I got to my apartment, my hands were hurting so bad I wanted to cry but it was too painful. They had started turning dark purple and one fingernail was cracked and chipped off. I could barely turn the key in my apartment and it took all my willpower to keep from screaming when I tried to put my hands under the hot water in the bathtub. Note to self. Don't do that. It's better to warm them naturally in a warm room than shock treatment as it hurts worse. Even now, it's been over six hours in my warm apartment and I can still feel the pain deep within my fingertips from earlier this afternoon.
NOTE TO SELF. TAKE GLOVES WITH YOU AT ALL TIMES.
Well today was bad. I don't live in NC anymore. Back in May I made the decision to move to DC and while the weather here hasn't been the paradise I was secretly hoping for, it hasn't been down right apocalyptic either. Until today. I left my apartment to go get my hair done at the salon down the street. I went and left my gloves thinking it wasn't a big deal and on the way down it was cold but tolerable, as I went, did what I had to do and left around five.
Oh. My. God.
Temperature had dropped and I realized later that the weather channel had issued a wind chill alert for the area. It had dropped to 18 but with the wind chill, that was reduced to 7 degrees. Suddenly I had to roll home for 30 minutes in 7 degree weather. Shit. The way home was completely and utterly brutal. I have never felt pain like that before, and I in no way want to experience it again. Getting cold is kinda weird in that it starts kind of refreshing when you leave a building the blast hits you, it's oddly cooling since the human body stays a constantly near 100 all the time. So going outside after being inside all day feels nice for about ten minutes or so in especially cold weather. But then from that point, you feel yourself starting to get numb, and that's okay because it doesn't feel bad just odd. At this point, this is when you should get indoors to avoid painful reprocussions, but I didn't have a choice as I had to roll a little over a mile back to the apartment and had nowhere to go. After the numbness starts to wear off, there's a throb and it starts pulsing underneath the skin and you can feel a burning sensation at the edges of your fingertips that starts to prick at something you can't reach. The fire continues to spread as pain starts radiating from your hands and you struggle to find somewhere to put them, to shield them from the cold, but there's nowhere in my position because I need them to navigate. By the time I got to my apartment, my hands were hurting so bad I wanted to cry but it was too painful. They had started turning dark purple and one fingernail was cracked and chipped off. I could barely turn the key in my apartment and it took all my willpower to keep from screaming when I tried to put my hands under the hot water in the bathtub. Note to self. Don't do that. It's better to warm them naturally in a warm room than shock treatment as it hurts worse. Even now, it's been over six hours in my warm apartment and I can still feel the pain deep within my fingertips from earlier this afternoon.
NOTE TO SELF. TAKE GLOVES WITH YOU AT ALL TIMES.
Tuesday 4 November 2008
...November 3rd, Can't Believe It.
Where the hell has time gone? It's like all of time is just in super speed mode (yeah I threw a Sonic slam in there) and I can't get it to stop. But I'm not complaining though. Every moment brings me closer to grad school, and that's a very good thing. So then, time for an update there's lot to tell.
*So of the most important things: In my one job at VETS, they haven't paid me for a single day in there and we've already moved into the last month of my internship. I can't say that I'm awfully surprised, as their organization is SERIOUSLY fucked. They're so confused, they're running around with their head up everyone else's ass and I just kinda stepped in there. If I had known what I was getting into, I seriously may not have agreed to that job. Its' just too much drama. I could've been over at GMMB everyday making considerably less but at least at a more stable job with a stable environment. However, I love the people in VETS though. Mike Parker is awesome, as is Sheena, Lisa and a few of the others. GMMB doesn't have that edge over me. That place is like a tomb. Quiet and cold as one too (though not now, since they have the heat blasting.) There are few people there I like, like Jyl and Anne, Jared and the other chick that's considerably bubbly. And of course, Jim. Love him. I wish I could talk to him more. But he's been sick/busy, so that makes things difficult.
Anyway, the reason I started with them, they haven't paid me. So I haven't gotten paid yet. And the cherry on top? I haven't gotten paid from GMMB either. Miriam (my boss) forgot to turn in my timesheet until very late so they're paying me on the 15th or something. They said they would try and rectify it since it was her mistake, but we'll see once I have the check in hand. VETS claimed their paying me sometime tomorrow for two paydays. Again, we'll see once it's in my account. As far as my bills? yeah they're totally due right now, but I don't have the money to pay it. (well I do, but it'd be draining my rent money which is what I'm living off of at the moment) So we'll have to see when all of this is gonna hit the fan. Anyway....
that's the bad part.
*I met a lady on the train (Keisha, I think her name is) and she practically offered me an internship once my current one is done (which is fucking awesome!) after I spent a few minutes talking to her on the Metro. (Funny how two of my jobs have started that way now). but that's cool.
*Canada has been emailing me (finally!) and I have the green light to turn in the rest of my application so they can tell me if I'm getting in in the Fall, which would make me die of happiness at this point. We'll have to see.
*THE ELECTION IS TOMORROW! did you hear me? THE ELECTION IS TOMORROW! WE CAN HAVE A BLACK PRESIDENT AS OF TOMORROW!!! MY GOD IT'S TOO MUCH!
Currently listening:
*So of the most important things: In my one job at VETS, they haven't paid me for a single day in there and we've already moved into the last month of my internship. I can't say that I'm awfully surprised, as their organization is SERIOUSLY fucked. They're so confused, they're running around with their head up everyone else's ass and I just kinda stepped in there. If I had known what I was getting into, I seriously may not have agreed to that job. Its' just too much drama. I could've been over at GMMB everyday making considerably less but at least at a more stable job with a stable environment. However, I love the people in VETS though. Mike Parker is awesome, as is Sheena, Lisa and a few of the others. GMMB doesn't have that edge over me. That place is like a tomb. Quiet and cold as one too (though not now, since they have the heat blasting.) There are few people there I like, like Jyl and Anne, Jared and the other chick that's considerably bubbly. And of course, Jim. Love him. I wish I could talk to him more. But he's been sick/busy, so that makes things difficult.
Anyway, the reason I started with them, they haven't paid me. So I haven't gotten paid yet. And the cherry on top? I haven't gotten paid from GMMB either. Miriam (my boss) forgot to turn in my timesheet until very late so they're paying me on the 15th or something. They said they would try and rectify it since it was her mistake, but we'll see once I have the check in hand. VETS claimed their paying me sometime tomorrow for two paydays. Again, we'll see once it's in my account. As far as my bills? yeah they're totally due right now, but I don't have the money to pay it. (well I do, but it'd be draining my rent money which is what I'm living off of at the moment) So we'll have to see when all of this is gonna hit the fan. Anyway....
that's the bad part.
*I met a lady on the train (Keisha, I think her name is) and she practically offered me an internship once my current one is done (which is fucking awesome!) after I spent a few minutes talking to her on the Metro. (Funny how two of my jobs have started that way now). but that's cool.
*Canada has been emailing me (finally!) and I have the green light to turn in the rest of my application so they can tell me if I'm getting in in the Fall, which would make me die of happiness at this point. We'll have to see.
*THE ELECTION IS TOMORROW! did you hear me? THE ELECTION IS TOMORROW! WE CAN HAVE A BLACK PRESIDENT AS OF TOMORROW!!! MY GOD IT'S TOO MUCH!
Currently listening:
Saturday 11 October 2008
To All My Friends and Family...See You in Vancouver or London!
October 11, 2008 - Saturday
To all my friends and family...see you Vancouver or London!
Yeah you read right. I've now embarked on my next mammoth undertaking. Oh come on. You can't act that surprised. Like you didn't know I was gonna be up to something. You know me, and for those of you that do, you know I can't stay away too long from something new and exciting. Soo....yeah this next chapter involves grad school and I've officially submitted one application with three left to do.
I've decided that I most definitely want to go back to school for a variety of reasons. Chief among them being that I'm about over this real world stuff. It's been interesting now that I've been in it for about six months now, (last year really doesn't count since even though I was working and earning money, I could save every dime because I really wasn't paying rent or anything like that) and it's fun to think that there are times that I can truly can places I want and do what I please, but the other flip side of that coin is...if I have the energy to do it! Which most of the time, I don't. Not mentioning if I can get the time off to actually do it, hence the question when all of my friends back home keep asking me when I'm gonna visit. They don't seem to understand that unlike me, they can just announce to their teacher that they'll be missing for an upcoming Friday class and get the notes or whatever ahead of time, assuming that their teacher is of course, okay with that. But me, on the other hand? I'm not able to just get up and walk away. If I want to sneak an extra day off, I've got to do it with the understanding that I'm simultaneously losing anywhere from $88.00-$150.00 a day. Which in the grand scheme of things is bad. I did that earlier this week when I didn't come in Monday or Tuesday, and it was a very relaxing time to not work, but it's gonna bite me in the ass on that next paycheck. Speaking of which....
I lost my wallet. In downtown DC. In Georgetown. .With everything in it.
With that being said, I've managed to cancel all my cards and get them all reissued to me, (which is a pain in the ass, since Michelle Williams' new cd is out and I can't even purchase it without a credit card!) so that's fine. But I had my state ID in it and my original social security card. My mom's gonna kill me. But I can get it replaced. I'm just not sure how at this particular moment.
Anyway, the reason for this blog. I've decided to go back to school and I've set myself on this path yet again because I want to go back to the world of academia. More than that, I want to go farther than my parents' did in their education. It was nice because now three of us have an official degree and graduation day couldn't have been anymore perfect if I had planned it out myself. But I want to do it again. I want to go further and know that I have a Master's degree. Hell, I'll probably end up with a docorate, just to say I have it. So now that I've thought about it. The next step. Where to go. I've been thinking about this for the last few months, and I've decided that I don't want to stay in the States, if I can help it. I've been here for years and after the total exhileration that was Germany, I definitely have to leave. So with that in mind, I thought about the places I've always wanted to go. And there's Canada, England and Australia.
I'm still working on Aussie land because I can't seem to get any kind of reputable information off any of their schools, but we'll see about that. As far as the other two go, I've locked down a school in both places and I'm submitting applications to them both. I've already done one to Roehampton University in downtown London, and I'm working on getting the next one in for the University of British Columbia in Vancouver. Hopefully one of them will come through, and then I have to make a very, very hard decision as to which place I'm gonna go. Coincidentally, I haven't excluded the States completely, and I'll be applying to UNC-Wilmington as well. But it's my third choice at this point. We'll have to see. I don't know where this course of action is going to take me, or even if I'll get into the schools, but the way I look at it, you can't get in if you don't apply!!!
P.S. I've been watching with absolute horror and disgust at the way that the political race has been going (I've already voted for Obama by the way), and I can't believe that the Republicans are getting away with televisioned hate speech at their rallies. Some people may call that extreme, but in my view screaming "terrorist, kill him, and treason," count as hate speech in my book. What the hell is McCain and crew doing? They make it sound like their going to erupt in rioting if Obama is elected, which he will be. This kinda worries me....
To all my friends and family...see you Vancouver or London!
Yeah you read right. I've now embarked on my next mammoth undertaking. Oh come on. You can't act that surprised. Like you didn't know I was gonna be up to something. You know me, and for those of you that do, you know I can't stay away too long from something new and exciting. Soo....yeah this next chapter involves grad school and I've officially submitted one application with three left to do.
I've decided that I most definitely want to go back to school for a variety of reasons. Chief among them being that I'm about over this real world stuff. It's been interesting now that I've been in it for about six months now, (last year really doesn't count since even though I was working and earning money, I could save every dime because I really wasn't paying rent or anything like that) and it's fun to think that there are times that I can truly can places I want and do what I please, but the other flip side of that coin is...if I have the energy to do it! Which most of the time, I don't. Not mentioning if I can get the time off to actually do it, hence the question when all of my friends back home keep asking me when I'm gonna visit. They don't seem to understand that unlike me, they can just announce to their teacher that they'll be missing for an upcoming Friday class and get the notes or whatever ahead of time, assuming that their teacher is of course, okay with that. But me, on the other hand? I'm not able to just get up and walk away. If I want to sneak an extra day off, I've got to do it with the understanding that I'm simultaneously losing anywhere from $88.00-$150.00 a day. Which in the grand scheme of things is bad. I did that earlier this week when I didn't come in Monday or Tuesday, and it was a very relaxing time to not work, but it's gonna bite me in the ass on that next paycheck. Speaking of which....
I lost my wallet. In downtown DC. In Georgetown. .With everything in it.
With that being said, I've managed to cancel all my cards and get them all reissued to me, (which is a pain in the ass, since Michelle Williams' new cd is out and I can't even purchase it without a credit card!) so that's fine. But I had my state ID in it and my original social security card. My mom's gonna kill me. But I can get it replaced. I'm just not sure how at this particular moment.
Anyway, the reason for this blog. I've decided to go back to school and I've set myself on this path yet again because I want to go back to the world of academia. More than that, I want to go farther than my parents' did in their education. It was nice because now three of us have an official degree and graduation day couldn't have been anymore perfect if I had planned it out myself. But I want to do it again. I want to go further and know that I have a Master's degree. Hell, I'll probably end up with a docorate, just to say I have it. So now that I've thought about it. The next step. Where to go. I've been thinking about this for the last few months, and I've decided that I don't want to stay in the States, if I can help it. I've been here for years and after the total exhileration that was Germany, I definitely have to leave. So with that in mind, I thought about the places I've always wanted to go. And there's Canada, England and Australia.
I'm still working on Aussie land because I can't seem to get any kind of reputable information off any of their schools, but we'll see about that. As far as the other two go, I've locked down a school in both places and I'm submitting applications to them both. I've already done one to Roehampton University in downtown London, and I'm working on getting the next one in for the University of British Columbia in Vancouver. Hopefully one of them will come through, and then I have to make a very, very hard decision as to which place I'm gonna go. Coincidentally, I haven't excluded the States completely, and I'll be applying to UNC-Wilmington as well. But it's my third choice at this point. We'll have to see. I don't know where this course of action is going to take me, or even if I'll get into the schools, but the way I look at it, you can't get in if you don't apply!!!
P.S. I've been watching with absolute horror and disgust at the way that the political race has been going (I've already voted for Obama by the way), and I can't believe that the Republicans are getting away with televisioned hate speech at their rallies. Some people may call that extreme, but in my view screaming "terrorist, kill him, and treason," count as hate speech in my book. What the hell is McCain and crew doing? They make it sound like their going to erupt in rioting if Obama is elected, which he will be. This kinda worries me....
Tuesday 7 October 2008
Tina Fey, You Get Mad PROPS!!!!
You know, I have never been a fan of SNL. Hell, I don't even know what that show is about half the time. I usually just hear about it the week after it's over and someone's recounting a funny skit they saw (that I wouldn't understand anyway, being black and all.) But Tina, Tina, Tina. Tina Fey has been on fire for the last three weeks in a row as she continues to bring her now infamous impersonation of Gov. Sarah Palin on the show over and over, each time to higher ratings. The one, I just couldn't pass up.
Saturday 4 October 2008
I Totally Disagree With This But It Was Too Just Too Funny (Palin vs. Biden)
The VP Debate: She Won Fersure, Also
.. --> begin blogger thumbs -->.. --> end blogger thumbs -->
Well, darnit all, if that dadgum girl (wink, wink) didn't beat the tarnation out of Joe Biden. Maverick Sarah Palin fersure surpassed expectations and said everything under the sun, also. And Biden smiled and smiled.
Palin is a populist pro. She hit all the notes that resonate with non-elite Americans: family (Hi Mom and Dad!), "Can I call ya Joe?" personal responsibility, Wall Street greed, children with special needs. Her most effective technique was speaking directly to the American people and letting Joe know that's what she was gonna do, doggonit.
Stylistically, she used the language of the people to great effect. And, you know what? If you want to know what the American people care about, you can go to a kid's soccer game on Saturday and ask parents how they feel, and "I'll betcha you're going to hear some fear."
I'll have to go to the transcript to figure out what Palin actually said and try to figure out whose facts were right. But there's no question: She won the debate on popularity. She did her homework, studied hard, and delivered with spunk. Still, I had the uneasy feeling throughout that I was witnessing a data dump from a very appealing droid. Even the winks and jaw juts seemed slightly programmed. And the question remains: Is she ready to be president should the need arise?
P.S. I was gonna stop here but this one's even better.
Joe, and Sarah Six-Pack
By Dana Milbank
Friday, October 3, 2008; Page A03
ST. LOUIS, Oct. 2 This week, Sarah Palin gave a curious rationale for her candidacy. "It's time," the Republican vice presidential nominee said, "that normal Joe Six-Pack American is finally represented in the position of vice presidency."
When she took the stage Thursday night here at Washington University for the vice presidential debate, Sarah Six-Pack all but popped open a cold one. Wearing a glittery flag pin on her jacket, she blew a kiss toward the audience. She gave a wave that Tina Fey would probably describe as adorable. Then she regarded her Democratic foe, the chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee.
"Nice to meet you," Palin told Joe Biden. "Hey, can I call you Joe?"
"You can call me Joe," the senator obliged.
"Okay, thanks," she said brightly.
"Thank you," Biden replied.
"Thank you," she told him again. "Thank you, Gwen," she told moderator Gwen Ifill. "Thank you, thank you, thank you," she told nobody in particular.
It was going to be a long evening.
Palin's intellectual fitness had been put into question by her disastrous interview with Katie Couric, which was filled with panicked silences, flustered non-answers and even a promise to get back to the interviewer with more information. But when Palin took the stage with Biden last night for what may have been the most public IQ test ever administered, she had no problem meeting the exceptionally low expectations. She had talking points adequate to fill the 90 seconds on the various topics Ifill tossed her way, and often forced Biden to defend Barack Obama.
On the other hand, it wasn't exactly a confidence-builder. Palin, in her 90 minutes on the stage Thursday night, left the firm impression that she is indeed ready to lead the nation -- with an unnerving mixture of platitudes and cute, folksy phrases that poured from her lips even when they bore no relation to the questions asked.
"Let's commit ourselves just everyday American people, Joe Six-Pack, hockey moms across the nation," she proposed when asked about the mortgage crisis.
"I want to go back to the energy plan," she said when asked about the federal bailout plan.
"I want to talk about, again, my record on energy," she said when asked about bankruptcy.
Biden grew frustrated. "If you notice, Gwen, the governor did not answer the question."
Replied Sarah Six-Pack: "I may not answer the questions that either the moderator or you want to hear, but I'm going to talk straight to the American people."
And, indeed, she stared into the camera, largely ignoring Ifill, Biden and the audience.
On occasion, she unilaterally revised policy for John McCain, as when she said Iran's Mahmoud Ahmadinejad "is not one whom we can allow to acquire nuclear energy, nuclear weapons." At other times, her answers defied comprehension, as when Ifill asked about her trigger for using nuclear weapons. "Nuclear weaponry, of course, would be the be-all, end-all of just too many people in too many parts of our planet, so those dangerous regimes, again, cannot be allowed to acquire nuclear weapons, period," she answered.
Iffy, but not the alarming sort of answers she gave Couric on CBS. Then, Palin couldn't identify what newspapers or magazines she reads, couldn't cite a Supreme Court decision she disagreed with other than Roe v. Wade, or any regulatory effort McCain had supported. Asked to name a favorite vice president, she cited Geraldine Ferraro.
In the canned debate format, Palin's platitudes held up better than under Couric's follow-up questions. "Oh yeah, it's so obvious I'm a Washington outsider," she said with a shy grin when Ifill asked about putting troops in Darfur. "And someone just not used to the way you guys operate." Asked about the possibility that she would assume the presidency if the president died in office, she found herself saying, "I think we need a little bit of reality from Wasilla Main Street there, brought to Washington, D.C."
When Ifill said she was changing the subject to foreign policy, Palin tilted her head to the side, gave a slight shrug and made a wary grin. Still, even then, she was able to fill up all 90 seconds of her allotted response time. "Um, your plan is a white flag of surrender in Iraq," she told Biden in a playground taunt. "You guys opposed the 'surge.' "
Smiling through entire sentences, she was relentlessly folksy and unafraid of the trite. The credit squeeze, she said, is "affecting Main Streeters like me." On Middle East policy: "I'm so encouraged to know that we both love Israel."
Predatory mortgages a problem? "Darn right," she said. Tax relief? "Darn right."
Ifill asked Palin if there were any campaign promises she would have to scale back because of the financial crisis. "How long have I been at this?" Palin shot back. "Like, five weeks?"
When backed into uncomfortable terrain, such as defending the Bush administration's economic record, she exploded into cliche and non sequitur: "Say it ain't so, Joe. There you go again pointing backwards again. . . . Now doggone it, let's look ahead." Before finishing her answer, she mentioned her "brother, who I think is the best schoolteacher in the year, and here's a shout-out to all those third-graders at Gladys Wood Elementary School, you get extra credit for watching the debate."
"Everybody gets extra credit tonight," the moderator assured Sarah Six-Pack. "We're going to move on to the next question."
.. --> begin blogger thumbs -->.. --> end blogger thumbs -->
Well, darnit all, if that dadgum girl (wink, wink) didn't beat the tarnation out of Joe Biden. Maverick Sarah Palin fersure surpassed expectations and said everything under the sun, also. And Biden smiled and smiled.
Palin is a populist pro. She hit all the notes that resonate with non-elite Americans: family (Hi Mom and Dad!), "Can I call ya Joe?" personal responsibility, Wall Street greed, children with special needs. Her most effective technique was speaking directly to the American people and letting Joe know that's what she was gonna do, doggonit.
Stylistically, she used the language of the people to great effect. And, you know what? If you want to know what the American people care about, you can go to a kid's soccer game on Saturday and ask parents how they feel, and "I'll betcha you're going to hear some fear."
I'll have to go to the transcript to figure out what Palin actually said and try to figure out whose facts were right. But there's no question: She won the debate on popularity. She did her homework, studied hard, and delivered with spunk. Still, I had the uneasy feeling throughout that I was witnessing a data dump from a very appealing droid. Even the winks and jaw juts seemed slightly programmed. And the question remains: Is she ready to be president should the need arise?
P.S. I was gonna stop here but this one's even better.
Joe, and Sarah Six-Pack
By Dana Milbank
Friday, October 3, 2008; Page A03
ST. LOUIS, Oct. 2 This week, Sarah Palin gave a curious rationale for her candidacy. "It's time," the Republican vice presidential nominee said, "that normal Joe Six-Pack American is finally represented in the position of vice presidency."
When she took the stage Thursday night here at Washington University for the vice presidential debate, Sarah Six-Pack all but popped open a cold one. Wearing a glittery flag pin on her jacket, she blew a kiss toward the audience. She gave a wave that Tina Fey would probably describe as adorable. Then she regarded her Democratic foe, the chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee.
"Nice to meet you," Palin told Joe Biden. "Hey, can I call you Joe?"
"You can call me Joe," the senator obliged.
"Okay, thanks," she said brightly.
"Thank you," Biden replied.
"Thank you," she told him again. "Thank you, Gwen," she told moderator Gwen Ifill. "Thank you, thank you, thank you," she told nobody in particular.
It was going to be a long evening.
Palin's intellectual fitness had been put into question by her disastrous interview with Katie Couric, which was filled with panicked silences, flustered non-answers and even a promise to get back to the interviewer with more information. But when Palin took the stage with Biden last night for what may have been the most public IQ test ever administered, she had no problem meeting the exceptionally low expectations. She had talking points adequate to fill the 90 seconds on the various topics Ifill tossed her way, and often forced Biden to defend Barack Obama.
On the other hand, it wasn't exactly a confidence-builder. Palin, in her 90 minutes on the stage Thursday night, left the firm impression that she is indeed ready to lead the nation -- with an unnerving mixture of platitudes and cute, folksy phrases that poured from her lips even when they bore no relation to the questions asked.
"Let's commit ourselves just everyday American people, Joe Six-Pack, hockey moms across the nation," she proposed when asked about the mortgage crisis.
"I want to go back to the energy plan," she said when asked about the federal bailout plan.
"I want to talk about, again, my record on energy," she said when asked about bankruptcy.
Biden grew frustrated. "If you notice, Gwen, the governor did not answer the question."
Replied Sarah Six-Pack: "I may not answer the questions that either the moderator or you want to hear, but I'm going to talk straight to the American people."
And, indeed, she stared into the camera, largely ignoring Ifill, Biden and the audience.
On occasion, she unilaterally revised policy for John McCain, as when she said Iran's Mahmoud Ahmadinejad "is not one whom we can allow to acquire nuclear energy, nuclear weapons." At other times, her answers defied comprehension, as when Ifill asked about her trigger for using nuclear weapons. "Nuclear weaponry, of course, would be the be-all, end-all of just too many people in too many parts of our planet, so those dangerous regimes, again, cannot be allowed to acquire nuclear weapons, period," she answered.
Iffy, but not the alarming sort of answers she gave Couric on CBS. Then, Palin couldn't identify what newspapers or magazines she reads, couldn't cite a Supreme Court decision she disagreed with other than Roe v. Wade, or any regulatory effort McCain had supported. Asked to name a favorite vice president, she cited Geraldine Ferraro.
In the canned debate format, Palin's platitudes held up better than under Couric's follow-up questions. "Oh yeah, it's so obvious I'm a Washington outsider," she said with a shy grin when Ifill asked about putting troops in Darfur. "And someone just not used to the way you guys operate." Asked about the possibility that she would assume the presidency if the president died in office, she found herself saying, "I think we need a little bit of reality from Wasilla Main Street there, brought to Washington, D.C."
When Ifill said she was changing the subject to foreign policy, Palin tilted her head to the side, gave a slight shrug and made a wary grin. Still, even then, she was able to fill up all 90 seconds of her allotted response time. "Um, your plan is a white flag of surrender in Iraq," she told Biden in a playground taunt. "You guys opposed the 'surge.' "
Smiling through entire sentences, she was relentlessly folksy and unafraid of the trite. The credit squeeze, she said, is "affecting Main Streeters like me." On Middle East policy: "I'm so encouraged to know that we both love Israel."
Predatory mortgages a problem? "Darn right," she said. Tax relief? "Darn right."
Ifill asked Palin if there were any campaign promises she would have to scale back because of the financial crisis. "How long have I been at this?" Palin shot back. "Like, five weeks?"
When backed into uncomfortable terrain, such as defending the Bush administration's economic record, she exploded into cliche and non sequitur: "Say it ain't so, Joe. There you go again pointing backwards again. . . . Now doggone it, let's look ahead." Before finishing her answer, she mentioned her "brother, who I think is the best schoolteacher in the year, and here's a shout-out to all those third-graders at Gladys Wood Elementary School, you get extra credit for watching the debate."
"Everybody gets extra credit tonight," the moderator assured Sarah Six-Pack. "We're going to move on to the next question."
Friday 19 September 2008
My Letter to the Obama Campaign
Okay. First off let me start by saying that I am a definite Obama supporter and my family and I are doing all we know how to get everyone connected and voting in this election. So with that out of the way, let me get to the real reason of why I'm sending this email (and it's kinda long, sorry.)
I don't know if you guys will really read this or not, but I hope someone does because I have a concern that I don't believe anyone else in Washington is listening to. I'm a 22 year old black college graduate that was born with Cerebal Palsy, currently living in Maryland and interning with the federal government, specifically in the ODEP department, which is what brought my attention to this issue, though I have been thinking about it for a while.
I'm writing because I would like to know why Senator (and future President) Barack Obama seems like he's not touching a fairly significant slice of the voting population. Of all the minorities and demographics represented in the whole of the United States today, I truly believe that within all of the different mixes we have in this country, the one part that's left out the most are the people with disabilities, and I'm talking SPECIFICALLY about younger people with disabilities. Those in the 18-40 range like myself. I know that Obama and McCain talk about disability and health, they like everyone else I've heard, tend to focus on veterans, and the elderly, which makes good sense they are a significant portion of the vote. But just like what Palin was attempting to do when she accepting the nomination, why won't anyone look towards the other spectrum of that issue? Disability is one of those things that for some reason, just tends to have an age slant on it, and it seems like we're getting left out of the discussion.
I come from a family that is fairly well-off (through hard work, I assure you as we're all black) and as a black, gay, young man living with CP, it's hard enough trying to convince an employer that you're competent enough to find work. Yet, for some reason, the unemployment rate of qualified individuals with varying disabilities remains around 66-70%. Like myself, these people are still expected to work, pay taxes and contribute, yet we're not able to ask for a job (since not even McDonald's would hire me, quoting I wouldn't be able to perform the functions on the job, being in a manual wheelchair) and now we won't a say in the elections either? It doesn't seem right.
And as one of the biggest minority groups in America, with over 45 million Americans having one form of a documented disability or another, it's a large slice of the pie that Obama just seems to be ignoring. If you would consider that fact, think of how many people either have the disability or know someone, either personally through another connection, who has a disability, I just see the slice getting bigger and bigger. And this is something that I wish he would address.
Again, I don't know if you guys would even read or consider this, but as a young person who just moved here to DC, (I'm from North Carolina but I couldn't stay there since you have to have a car to get around, and I can't drive) looking for a job, it's an issue that is VERY real and VERY relevent.
Even if this never makes to the Senator's eyes, to whoever is reading, know I am supporting your efforts and I working my hardest to ensure that we have an Obama/Biden ticket in 2009.
God Bless.
D'Arcee.
I don't know if you guys will really read this or not, but I hope someone does because I have a concern that I don't believe anyone else in Washington is listening to. I'm a 22 year old black college graduate that was born with Cerebal Palsy, currently living in Maryland and interning with the federal government, specifically in the ODEP department, which is what brought my attention to this issue, though I have been thinking about it for a while.
I'm writing because I would like to know why Senator (and future President) Barack Obama seems like he's not touching a fairly significant slice of the voting population. Of all the minorities and demographics represented in the whole of the United States today, I truly believe that within all of the different mixes we have in this country, the one part that's left out the most are the people with disabilities, and I'm talking SPECIFICALLY about younger people with disabilities. Those in the 18-40 range like myself. I know that Obama and McCain talk about disability and health, they like everyone else I've heard, tend to focus on veterans, and the elderly, which makes good sense they are a significant portion of the vote. But just like what Palin was attempting to do when she accepting the nomination, why won't anyone look towards the other spectrum of that issue? Disability is one of those things that for some reason, just tends to have an age slant on it, and it seems like we're getting left out of the discussion.
I come from a family that is fairly well-off (through hard work, I assure you as we're all black) and as a black, gay, young man living with CP, it's hard enough trying to convince an employer that you're competent enough to find work. Yet, for some reason, the unemployment rate of qualified individuals with varying disabilities remains around 66-70%. Like myself, these people are still expected to work, pay taxes and contribute, yet we're not able to ask for a job (since not even McDonald's would hire me, quoting I wouldn't be able to perform the functions on the job, being in a manual wheelchair) and now we won't a say in the elections either? It doesn't seem right.
And as one of the biggest minority groups in America, with over 45 million Americans having one form of a documented disability or another, it's a large slice of the pie that Obama just seems to be ignoring. If you would consider that fact, think of how many people either have the disability or know someone, either personally through another connection, who has a disability, I just see the slice getting bigger and bigger. And this is something that I wish he would address.
Again, I don't know if you guys would even read or consider this, but as a young person who just moved here to DC, (I'm from North Carolina but I couldn't stay there since you have to have a car to get around, and I can't drive) looking for a job, it's an issue that is VERY real and VERY relevent.
Even if this never makes to the Senator's eyes, to whoever is reading, know I am supporting your efforts and I working my hardest to ensure that we have an Obama/Biden ticket in 2009.
God Bless.
D'Arcee.
Thursday 11 September 2008
This Article on Adult Diapers is Great. Ahhh...the Things One Will Do For Money.
What's the Best Adult Diaper? That depends.
By Justin Peters
Updated Wednesday, Sept. 10, 2008, at 11:47 AM ET
Read more from Slate's Geezers issue.
Aging can be a cruel process. You get liver spots. You slow down. You start hurting everywhere. You take more pills than Janis Joplin in her prime.
But it's not just the physical aches and pains that get to you. Your dignity can begin to evaporate as well. There's the patronizing look from the waiter as you struggle to read a menu. The inability to perform simple tasks that were once executed with ease. The subtle erosion of your independence.
All of these problems are exacerbated when you start urinating in your pants.
The reality of the age-related regression to a state resembling infancy is never clearer than when you lose control of your bladder. You start buying clothes not so much for style or comfort as for how well they hide a telltale stain. At social events, you chart bathroom routes and exit strategies. Every long car ride becomes a chore, every airplane ride a potential disaster, every happy hour a decidedly unhappy hour.
According to the National Association for Continence, more than 25 million Americans suffer from incontinence or other bladder-control problems. (Nearly 50 percent of nursing-home residents are incontinent.) There are two types: stress incontinence and urge incontinence. People who are stress incontinent leak urine while coughing, sneezing, laughing, or lifting heavy objects. People who are urge incontinent have what is commonly known as an overactive bladder. For the urge incontinent, the need to void one's bladder—which can hold about 24 ounces of urine at its top capacity—can come suddenly and uncontrollably.
Wearing adult diapers is one of the few medication-free ways that incontinent people can feel comfortable going out in public. Adult diapers are exactly what they sound like—padded, disposable cotton briefs similar to those worn by infants. There are two layers to most well-made adult diapers. The inside is composed of hydrophilic material that attracts liquid, while the outside is composed of hydrophobic material, which prevents the liquid from seeping through. "You don't want that clamminess on your skin," said Gary Evans, owner of incontinence supply house XP Medical.
A couple of months ago, Slate asked me to field-test various adult diapers for its "Geezers" issue. In many ways, I was an unlikely choice—I am a 27-year-old male, and incontinence primarily afflicts women and the elderly. Then again, I am prone to back pain, influenza, sinusitis, digestive malfunctions, and swollen fingertips; I eat poorly, exercise infrequently, drink heavily, and never sit if I can slouch. If there is anybody who is due for a painful and unhappy old age, it is me.
Methodology
There are several Web sites, like the Incontinence Resource Center, that rank adult diapers from best to worst. As for my experiment, my methodology was simple. I was testing for wearability, for absorbency, for longevity, and for style. I rated the diapers in each category on a 5-point scale for a total of 20 possible points.
Wearability (5 possible points)
While you will never really feel comfortable in an adult diaper, some are more wearable than others. Several criteria are encompassed in this metric. Does the diaper fit? Does it feel like genuine cotton underwear, or does it feel like you're wearing a stack of paper towels? Does it provoke scratching and crotch-adjusting to the point at which it would be noticeable in public? Can you wear the diaper for extended periods without feeling like Baby Huey? Do you ever forget that it's there?
Absorbency (5 possible points)
This, of course, is the big one. A good diaper should be able to absorb as much liquid as a brimming bladder can expel. How much liquid can the diaper hold, and how much can it hold comfortably? How well does it absorb that liquid? Does it keep you dry? Is it prone to leaks? At what point does the diaper start feeling like a used sponge? At what point does it start feeling like a swimming pool?
Longevity (5 possible points)
"You're relying on the product to perform the process that your bladder's not—storing urine," said Gary Evans. Thus, it's important that an adult diaper be wearable even after it has been soiled. Besides, spare diapers are like spare tires: You can't really bring either to a cocktail party. How long can a used diaper be worn comfortably? At what point does a quick-change act become necessary?
Style (5 possible points)
Diaper style doesn't matter so much for babies, who don't know any better and who cry all the time, anyway. But it's important for adults. If you are a slender, incontinent man, will the diaper ruin your silhouette? Does it make it difficult to fit into pants? Can you wear an adult diaper and still feel sexy?
I chose six brands of diapers—all the "superabsorbent" kind—and put them through a rigorous, three-prong testing process. First, I subjected them to clinical and scientific wetness testing. (I poured water on them from a measuring cup and watched for sogginess.) Next, I wore them dry as I went about my daily routine—to work, on the subway, to the low joints that I frequent at night. Finally, I wore them wet. With my own urine. (Ah, the things that we do for science, and money.)
Store Brands
For the sad soul who is both incontinent and destitute, and for nobody else. Conventional wisdom says that any savings that may result from using generic personal-hygiene products are subsumed by the discomfort that users must endure. This is doubly true for generic adult diapers. Unless you are impoverished, or a masochist, there is no reason to go generic. The savings are minimal, and so is the quality.
I tested three different store brands: Target (Affirm), Walgreens (Certainty), and Kroger (Kroger), all of which were similar in price (low) and quality (low). The simple verdict: Don't use the store brand if you have any plans at all to do anything that day besides change your adult diaper.
My experience with Kroger was particularly memorable, which isn't a good thing when it comes to diapers. They were about as absorbent as a drainpipe, sagging under the weight of the water and leaking like Daniel Ellsberg. These pull-on-style diapers went on easily and didn't actually feel too bad when I wore them dry, but years of using my congenitally cheap roommate's Rite-Aid-brand toilet paper has steeled me for discomfort.
Eventually I consumed enough liquor to muster the courage to wear them wet. Unfortunately, consuming all that liquor also mustered enough urine to make the testing process one of the more unpleasant experiences of my life. The diaper swelled until it could swell no more, at which point streams of urine began running down the sides of my legs. Even though I had locked myself in a bathroom to perform the test, I still feel unaccountably ashamed, as if God were laughing at me—a feeling made worse by my inability to exit the diaper. The Kroger diaper features quick-release strips on its sides so that wearers can rip the sides for a quick and easy exit. But the strips didn't immediately rip, and I just stood there stymied for a few seconds, tugging ineffectively at a wet adult diaper and feeling as if there must be easier ways to make a living.
Afterward, I headed directly to the shower.
Wearability: 2
Absorbency: 1
Longevity 1
Style: 2
Total: 6
Depend Super Plus Absorbency Adjustable Underwear
Perhaps the best-known brand of adult diaper, thanks to the long-running commercials featuring Little Women star June Allyson. Many of the adult diapers I came across boasted soothing and gentle names like Depend or Affirm. This makes sense—people want to trust their adult diapers. A product with a name like Mystique probably wouldn't sell very well.
I tested the Super Plus Absorbency Adjustable Underwear variety (now with worry-free odor control!), which looked and felt like a cut-rate codpiece. While it was comfortable and largely itch-free, the main problem was that the garment didn't fit. It is undoubtedly difficult to make a one-size-fits-all adult diaper, but I fell squarely inside the L/XL size according to the chart on the box, and I could have fit another person in these briefs. (This is speculation: I did not attempt this.)
As absorbency goes, Depend is adequate at best. While much better than the Kroger diaper, Depend still had trouble comfortably holding more than a pint's worth of liquid. When I wore it wet, the poor fit really became a problem—it felt like a damp, loose towel was wrapped around my waist. When it comes to "rewet absorbency" (how much liquid an already wet diaper will absorb), Depend does not perform well; it's necessary to change diapers if you're planning to double dip.
One final note: Depend claims that you can change these diapers without having to remove your clothes. I tried this several times, and am pretty sure that this is false. Maybe it's a practice-makes-perfect thing, but it was essentially impossible to change these diapers while still wearing my pants. Impossible and disgusting—it always felt like the urine was going to brush up against the inside of my jeans, leaving me with stink-thigh. And besides, you'll have to remove your clothes to don a new diaper, so it's not really a significant time savings.
Wearability: 2
Absorbency: 3
Longevity: 3
Style: 2
Total: 10
This article on Adult Diapers is great. Ahhh...the things one will do for money.
Current mood: blustery
geezers: All things elderly.
What's the Best Adult Diaper?That depends.
By Justin Peters
Updated Wednesday, Sept. 10, 2008, at 11:47 AM ET
Read more from Slate's Geezers issue.
Aging can be a cruel process. You get liver spots. You slow down. You start hurting everywhere. You take more pills than Janis Joplin in her prime.
But it's not just the physical aches and pains that get to you. Your dignity can begin to evaporate as well. There's the patronizing look from the waiter as you struggle to read a menu. The inability to perform simple tasks that were once executed with ease. The subtle erosion of your independence.
All of these problems are exacerbated when you start urinating in your pants.
The reality of the age-related regression to a state resembling infancy is never clearer than when you lose control of your bladder. You start buying clothes not so much for style or comfort as for how well they hide a telltale stain. At social events, you chart bathroom routes and exit strategies. Every long car ride becomes a chore, every airplane ride a potential disaster, every happy hour a decidedly unhappy hour.
According to the National Association for Continence, more than 25 million Americans suffer from incontinence or other bladder-control problems. (Nearly 50 percent of nursing-home residents are incontinent.) There are two types: stress incontinence and urge incontinence. People who are stress incontinent leak urine while coughing, sneezing, laughing, or lifting heavy objects. People who are urge incontinent have what is commonly known as an overactive bladder. For the urge incontinent, the need to void one's bladder—which can hold about 24 ounces of urine at its top capacity—can come suddenly and uncontrollably.
Wearing adult diapers is one of the few medication-free ways that incontinent people can feel comfortable going out in public. Adult diapers are exactly what they sound like—padded, disposable cotton briefs similar to those worn by infants. There are two layers to most well-made adult diapers. The inside is composed of hydrophilic material that attracts liquid, while the outside is composed of hydrophobic material, which prevents the liquid from seeping through. "You don't want that clamminess on your skin," said Gary Evans, owner of incontinence supply house XP Medical.
A couple of months ago, Slate asked me to field-test various adult diapers for its "Geezers" issue. In many ways, I was an unlikely choice—I am a 27-year-old male, and incontinence primarily afflicts women and the elderly. Then again, I am prone to back pain, influenza, sinusitis, digestive malfunctions, and swollen fingertips; I eat poorly, exercise infrequently, drink heavily, and never sit if I can slouch. If there is anybody who is due for a painful and unhappy old age, it is me.
Methodology
There are several Web sites, like the Incontinence Resource Center, that rank adult diapers from best to worst. As for my experiment, my methodology was simple. I was testing for wearability, for absorbency, for longevity, and for style. I rated the diapers in each category on a 5-point scale for a total of 20 possible points.
Wearability (5 possible points)
While you will never really feel comfortable in an adult diaper, some are more wearable than others. Several criteria are encompassed in this metric. Does the diaper fit? Does it feel like genuine cotton underwear, or does it feel like you're wearing a stack of paper towels? Does it provoke scratching and crotch-adjusting to the point at which it would be noticeable in public? Can you wear the diaper for extended periods without feeling like Baby Huey? Do you ever forget that it's there?
Absorbency (5 possible points)
This, of course, is the big one. A good diaper should be able to absorb as much liquid as a brimming bladder can expel. How much liquid can the diaper hold, and how much can it hold comfortably? How well does it absorb that liquid? Does it keep you dry? Is it prone to leaks? At what point does the diaper start feeling like a used sponge? At what point does it start feeling like a swimming pool?
Longevity (5 possible points)
"You're relying on the product to perform the process that your bladder's not—storing urine," said Gary Evans. Thus, it's important that an adult diaper be wearable even after it has been soiled. Besides, spare diapers are like spare tires: You can't really bring either to a cocktail party. How long can a used diaper be worn comfortably? At what point does a quick-change act become necessary?
Style (5 possible points)
Diaper style doesn't matter so much for babies, who don't know any better and who cry all the time, anyway. But it's important for adults. If you are a slender, incontinent man, will the diaper ruin your silhouette? Does it make it difficult to fit into pants? Can you wear an adult diaper and still feel sexy?
I chose six brands of diapers—all the "superabsorbent" kind—and put them through a rigorous, three-prong testing process. First, I subjected them to clinical and scientific wetness testing. (I poured water on them from a measuring cup and watched for sogginess.) Next, I wore them dry as I went about my daily routine—to work, on the subway, to the low joints that I frequent at night. Finally, I wore them wet. With my own urine. (Ah, the things that we do for science, and money.)
Walgreens
Store Brands
For the sad soul who is both incontinent and destitute, and for nobody else. Conventional wisdom says that any savings that may result from using generic personal-hygiene products are subsumed by the discomfort that users must endure. This is doubly true for generic adult diapers. Unless you are impoverished, or a masochist, there is no reason to go generic. The savings are minimal, and so is the quality.
I tested three different store brands: Target (Affirm), Walgreens (Certainty), and Kroger (Kroger), all of which were similar in price (low) and quality (low). The simple verdict: Don't use the store brand if you have any plans at all to do anything that day besides change your adult diaper.
My experience with Kroger was particularly memorable, which isn't a good thing when it comes to diapers. They were about as absorbent as a drainpipe, sagging under the weight of the water and leaking like Daniel Ellsberg. These pull-on-style diapers went on easily and didn't actually feel too bad when I wore them dry, but years of using my congenitally cheap roommate's Rite-Aid-brand toilet paper has steeled me for discomfort.
Eventually I consumed enough liquor to muster the courage to wear them wet. Unfortunately, consuming all that liquor also mustered enough urine to make the testing process one of the more unpleasant experiences of my life. The diaper swelled until it could swell no more, at which point streams of urine began running down the sides of my legs. Even though I had locked myself in a bathroom to perform the test, I still feel unaccountably ashamed, as if God were laughing at me—a feeling made worse by my inability to exit the diaper. The Kroger diaper features quick-release strips on its sides so that wearers can rip the sides for a quick and easy exit. But the strips didn't immediately rip, and I just stood there stymied for a few seconds, tugging ineffectively at a wet adult diaper and feeling as if there must be easier ways to make a living.
Afterward, I headed directly to the shower.
Wearability: 2
Absorbency: 1
Longevity 1
Style: 2
Total: 6
Depend Super Plus Absorbency Adjustable Underwear
Depend Super Plus Absorbency Adjustable Underwear
Perhaps the best-known brand of adult diaper, thanks to the long-running commercials featuring Little Women star June Allyson. Many of the adult diapers I came across boasted soothing and gentle names like Depend or Affirm. This makes sense—people want to trust their adult diapers. A product with a name like Mystique probably wouldn't sell very well.
I tested the Super Plus Absorbency Adjustable Underwear variety (now with worry-free odor control!), which looked and felt like a cut-rate codpiece. While it was comfortable and largely itch-free, the main problem was that the garment didn't fit. It is undoubtedly difficult to make a one-size-fits-all adult diaper, but I fell squarely inside the L/XL size according to the chart on the box, and I could have fit another person in these briefs. (This is speculation: I did not attempt this.)
As absorbency goes, Depend is adequate at best. While much better than the Kroger diaper, Depend still had trouble comfortably holding more than a pint's worth of liquid. When I wore it wet, the poor fit really became a problem—it felt like a damp, loose towel was wrapped around my waist. When it comes to "rewet absorbency" (how much liquid an already wet diaper will absorb), Depend does not perform well; it's necessary to change diapers if you're planning to double dip.
One final note: Depend claims that you can change these diapers without having to remove your clothes. I tried this several times, and am pretty sure that this is false. Maybe it's a practice-makes-perfect thing, but it was essentially impossible to change these diapers while still wearing my pants. Impossible and disgusting—it always felt like the urine was going to brush up against the inside of my jeans, leaving me with stink-thigh. And besides, you'll have to remove your clothes to don a new diaper, so it's not really a significant time savings.
Wearability: 2
Absorbency: 3
Longevity: 3
Style: 2
Total: 10
Attends Underwear Super Plus Absorbency With Leak Barriers
Attends Underwear Super Plus Absorbency With Leak Barriers
The word Attends sounds a lot like the word Depend, and, indeed, the two brands are similar—similar in their mediocrity, that is. Like Depend, Attends was functional, but its performance certainly wasn't great. None of the American diapers was that great, actually. There is an economic reason for this. The vast majority of American-made adult diapers are purchased by hospitals, Medicare, and Medicaid. These institutional purchasers are mostly interested in saving money, so diaper manufacturers tailor their products to their buyers' demands, producing diapers that are, essentially, cheap and cheaply made.
Attends fit a little bit better than Depend, although I would not recommend wearing either of them underneath tight pants. ("Relaxed fit" is the phrase to remember when it comes to buying diaper-friendly trousers.) It was the most comfortable domestic diaper when it came to long-term wear, but that's sort of like saying that first-degree burns are the best kind of burn. While, like a Depend, it held about 16 ounces of liquid before structural integrity was breached, it certainly did not live up to its expected absorbency.
A basic Attends brief promises to hold about 15 ounces of liquid; you would expect that the Super Plus Absorbency variety would exceed that capacity. It did not, which is no big surprise, according to diaper guru Gary Evans, who explained how manufacturers test their product absorbency: "They dunk the entire product, leave it there for a certain amount of time, allow the surface liquid to drain off, and weigh the product to see how much liquid it absorbs. I find that, realistically, you'd be lucky to get half of [the advertised absorbency]." I found that, realistically, American adult-diaper manufacturers are sort of bastards.
Of course, for many people, incontinence is manifested not in sudden, game-changing urinary explosions but in the small and steady drips characteristic of stress incontinence. I therefore subjected all of the diapers to the "drip test," dousing myself periodically with small amounts of liquid over the span of a few hours. (It is extremely hard for a strong-bladdered man to simulate stress incontinence, so I did this by pouring water into my crotch.) I can say that Attends is perfectly fine when it comes to catching drips. Just don't ask it to soak up a gusher.
Wearability: 3
Absorbency: 3
Longevity: 3
Style: 2
Total: 11
This article on Adult Diapers is great. Ahhh...the things one will do for money.
Current mood: blustery
geezers: All things elderly.
What's the Best Adult Diaper?That depends.
By Justin Peters
Updated Wednesday, Sept. 10, 2008, at 11:47 AM ET
Read more from Slate's Geezers issue.
Aging can be a cruel process. You get liver spots. You slow down. You start hurting everywhere. You take more pills than Janis Joplin in her prime.
But it's not just the physical aches and pains that get to you. Your dignity can begin to evaporate as well. There's the patronizing look from the waiter as you struggle to read a menu. The inability to perform simple tasks that were once executed with ease. The subtle erosion of your independence.
All of these problems are exacerbated when you start urinating in your pants.
The reality of the age-related regression to a state resembling infancy is never clearer than when you lose control of your bladder. You start buying clothes not so much for style or comfort as for how well they hide a telltale stain. At social events, you chart bathroom routes and exit strategies. Every long car ride becomes a chore, every airplane ride a potential disaster, every happy hour a decidedly unhappy hour.
According to the National Association for Continence, more than 25 million Americans suffer from incontinence or other bladder-control problems. (Nearly 50 percent of nursing-home residents are incontinent.) There are two types: stress incontinence and urge incontinence. People who are stress incontinent leak urine while coughing, sneezing, laughing, or lifting heavy objects. People who are urge incontinent have what is commonly known as an overactive bladder. For the urge incontinent, the need to void one's bladder—which can hold about 24 ounces of urine at its top capacity—can come suddenly and uncontrollably.
Wearing adult diapers is one of the few medication-free ways that incontinent people can feel comfortable going out in public. Adult diapers are exactly what they sound like—padded, disposable cotton briefs similar to those worn by infants. There are two layers to most well-made adult diapers. The inside is composed of hydrophilic material that attracts liquid, while the outside is composed of hydrophobic material, which prevents the liquid from seeping through. "You don't want that clamminess on your skin," said Gary Evans, owner of incontinence supply house XP Medical.
A couple of months ago, Slate asked me to field-test various adult diapers for its "Geezers" issue. In many ways, I was an unlikely choice—I am a 27-year-old male, and incontinence primarily afflicts women and the elderly. Then again, I am prone to back pain, influenza, sinusitis, digestive malfunctions, and swollen fingertips; I eat poorly, exercise infrequently, drink heavily, and never sit if I can slouch. If there is anybody who is due for a painful and unhappy old age, it is me.
Methodology
There are several Web sites, like the Incontinence Resource Center, that rank adult diapers from best to worst. As for my experiment, my methodology was simple. I was testing for wearability, for absorbency, for longevity, and for style. I rated the diapers in each category on a 5-point scale for a total of 20 possible points.
Wearability (5 possible points)
While you will never really feel comfortable in an adult diaper, some are more wearable than others. Several criteria are encompassed in this metric. Does the diaper fit? Does it feel like genuine cotton underwear, or does it feel like you're wearing a stack of paper towels? Does it provoke scratching and crotch-adjusting to the point at which it would be noticeable in public? Can you wear the diaper for extended periods without feeling like Baby Huey? Do you ever forget that it's there?
Absorbency (5 possible points)
This, of course, is the big one. A good diaper should be able to absorb as much liquid as a brimming bladder can expel. How much liquid can the diaper hold, and how much can it hold comfortably? How well does it absorb that liquid? Does it keep you dry? Is it prone to leaks? At what point does the diaper start feeling like a used sponge? At what point does it start feeling like a swimming pool?
Longevity (5 possible points)
"You're relying on the product to perform the process that your bladder's not—storing urine," said Gary Evans. Thus, it's important that an adult diaper be wearable even after it has been soiled. Besides, spare diapers are like spare tires: You can't really bring either to a cocktail party. How long can a used diaper be worn comfortably? At what point does a quick-change act become necessary?
Style (5 possible points)
Diaper style doesn't matter so much for babies, who don't know any better and who cry all the time, anyway. But it's important for adults. If you are a slender, incontinent man, will the diaper ruin your silhouette? Does it make it difficult to fit into pants? Can you wear an adult diaper and still feel sexy?
I chose six brands of diapers—all the "superabsorbent" kind—and put them through a rigorous, three-prong testing process. First, I subjected them to clinical and scientific wetness testing. (I poured water on them from a measuring cup and watched for sogginess.) Next, I wore them dry as I went about my daily routine—to work, on the subway, to the low joints that I frequent at night. Finally, I wore them wet. With my own urine. (Ah, the things that we do for science, and money.)
Walgreens
Store Brands
For the sad soul who is both incontinent and destitute, and for nobody else. Conventional wisdom says that any savings that may result from using generic personal-hygiene products are subsumed by the discomfort that users must endure. This is doubly true for generic adult diapers. Unless you are impoverished, or a masochist, there is no reason to go generic. The savings are minimal, and so is the quality.
I tested three different store brands: Target (Affirm), Walgreens (Certainty), and Kroger (Kroger), all of which were similar in price (low) and quality (low). The simple verdict: Don't use the store brand if you have any plans at all to do anything that day besides change your adult diaper.
My experience with Kroger was particularly memorable, which isn't a good thing when it comes to diapers. They were about as absorbent as a drainpipe, sagging under the weight of the water and leaking like Daniel Ellsberg. These pull-on-style diapers went on easily and didn't actually feel too bad when I wore them dry, but years of using my congenitally cheap roommate's Rite-Aid-brand toilet paper has steeled me for discomfort.
Eventually I consumed enough liquor to muster the courage to wear them wet. Unfortunately, consuming all that liquor also mustered enough urine to make the testing process one of the more unpleasant experiences of my life. The diaper swelled until it could swell no more, at which point streams of urine began running down the sides of my legs. Even though I had locked myself in a bathroom to perform the test, I still feel unaccountably ashamed, as if God were laughing at me—a feeling made worse by my inability to exit the diaper. The Kroger diaper features quick-release strips on its sides so that wearers can rip the sides for a quick and easy exit. But the strips didn't immediately rip, and I just stood there stymied for a few seconds, tugging ineffectively at a wet adult diaper and feeling as if there must be easier ways to make a living.
Afterward, I headed directly to the shower.
Wearability: 2
Absorbency: 1
Longevity 1
Style: 2
Total: 6
Depend Super Plus Absorbency Adjustable Underwear
Depend Super Plus Absorbency Adjustable Underwear
Perhaps the best-known brand of adult diaper, thanks to the long-running commercials featuring Little Women star June Allyson. Many of the adult diapers I came across boasted soothing and gentle names like Depend or Affirm. This makes sense—people want to trust their adult diapers. A product with a name like Mystique probably wouldn't sell very well.
I tested the Super Plus Absorbency Adjustable Underwear variety (now with worry-free odor control!), which looked and felt like a cut-rate codpiece. While it was comfortable and largely itch-free, the main problem was that the garment didn't fit. It is undoubtedly difficult to make a one-size-fits-all adult diaper, but I fell squarely inside the L/XL size according to the chart on the box, and I could have fit another person in these briefs. (This is speculation: I did not attempt this.)
As absorbency goes, Depend is adequate at best. While much better than the Kroger diaper, Depend still had trouble comfortably holding more than a pint's worth of liquid. When I wore it wet, the poor fit really became a problem—it felt like a damp, loose towel was wrapped around my waist. When it comes to "rewet absorbency" (how much liquid an already wet diaper will absorb), Depend does not perform well; it's necessary to change diapers if you're planning to double dip.
One final note: Depend claims that you can change these diapers without having to remove your clothes. I tried this several times, and am pretty sure that this is false. Maybe it's a practice-makes-perfect thing, but it was essentially impossible to change these diapers while still wearing my pants. Impossible and disgusting—it always felt like the urine was going to brush up against the inside of my jeans, leaving me with stink-thigh. And besides, you'll have to remove your clothes to don a new diaper, so it's not really a significant time savings.
Wearability: 2
Absorbency: 3
Longevity: 3
Style: 2
Total: 10
Attends Underwear Super Plus Absorbency With Leak Barriers
Attends Underwear Super Plus Absorbency With Leak Barriers
The word Attends sounds a lot like the word Depend, and, indeed, the two brands are similar—similar in their mediocrity, that is. Like Depend, Attends was functional, but its performance certainly wasn't great. None of the American diapers was that great, actually. There is an economic reason for this. The vast majority of American-made adult diapers are purchased by hospitals, Medicare, and Medicaid. These institutional purchasers are mostly interested in saving money, so diaper manufacturers tailor their products to their buyers' demands, producing diapers that are, essentially, cheap and cheaply made.
Attends fit a little bit better than Depend, although I would not recommend wearing either of them underneath tight pants. ("Relaxed fit" is the phrase to remember when it comes to buying diaper-friendly trousers.) It was the most comfortable domestic diaper when it came to long-term wear, but that's sort of like saying that first-degree burns are the best kind of burn. While, like a Depend, it held about 16 ounces of liquid before structural integrity was breached, it certainly did not live up to its expected absorbency.
A basic Attends brief promises to hold about 15 ounces of liquid; you would expect that the Super Plus Absorbency variety would exceed that capacity. It did not, which is no big surprise, according to diaper guru Gary Evans, who explained how manufacturers test their product absorbency: "They dunk the entire product, leave it there for a certain amount of time, allow the surface liquid to drain off, and weigh the product to see how much liquid it absorbs. I find that, realistically, you'd be lucky to get half of [the advertised absorbency]." I found that, realistically, American adult-diaper manufacturers are sort of bastards.
Of course, for many people, incontinence is manifested not in sudden, game-changing urinary explosions but in the small and steady drips characteristic of stress incontinence. I therefore subjected all of the diapers to the "drip test," dousing myself periodically with small amounts of liquid over the span of a few hours. (It is extremely hard for a strong-bladdered man to simulate stress incontinence, so I did this by pouring water into my crotch.) I can say that Attends is perfectly fine when it comes to catching drips. Just don't ask it to soak up a gusher.
Wearability: 3
Absorbency: 3
Longevity: 3
Style: 2
Total: 11
Molicare Super Plus Adult Diapers
Molicare Super Plus Adult Diapers
Like chocolate, beer, and jewel thieves, the best adult diapers come from Europe. This is not coincidental. European manufacturers don't have to cater to institutional purchasers' demands, so they're more likely to sell on quality rather than cost.
The top-of-the-line European diapers are made by a company called Abena; their diapers boast a ridiculous 4,100-milliliter absorbency (more than a gallon). Sadly, I had trouble tracking these down stateside. European diapers typically aren't sold in drugstores and have to be purchased from specialty retailers or online merchants. I did, however, get to test-drive the awesome Molicare Super Plus. If Abena is the Mercedes of adult diapers, then Molicare is at least comparable to a Volvo. Bulkier than its domestic counterparts, the Molicare is nonetheless a more wearable product, thanks to its superior fit, which envelops your netherlands snugly and completely. It felt like I was wearing one of those portable seat cushions that people bring to high-school football games. Frankly, I felt voluptuous.
The European advantage was most evident when the Molicare got wet. Orders of magnitude more absorbent than Depends, Attends, or Kroger, the Super Plus never leaked, not even after two rewettings. My legs were never clammy while wearing it wet; indeed, I felt as comfortable as one can probably feel after having urinated in one's pants. When my bladder finally starts down the road to unreliability, I'm going European.
Wearability: 4
Absorbency: 5
Longevity: 5
Style: 4
Total: 18
P.S. I know my music says New Kids On The Block. I couldn't half believe it myself. And the craziest thing about it is that, it's a GOOD cd! Really!
By Justin Peters
Updated Wednesday, Sept. 10, 2008, at 11:47 AM ET
Read more from Slate's Geezers issue.
Aging can be a cruel process. You get liver spots. You slow down. You start hurting everywhere. You take more pills than Janis Joplin in her prime.
But it's not just the physical aches and pains that get to you. Your dignity can begin to evaporate as well. There's the patronizing look from the waiter as you struggle to read a menu. The inability to perform simple tasks that were once executed with ease. The subtle erosion of your independence.
All of these problems are exacerbated when you start urinating in your pants.
The reality of the age-related regression to a state resembling infancy is never clearer than when you lose control of your bladder. You start buying clothes not so much for style or comfort as for how well they hide a telltale stain. At social events, you chart bathroom routes and exit strategies. Every long car ride becomes a chore, every airplane ride a potential disaster, every happy hour a decidedly unhappy hour.
According to the National Association for Continence, more than 25 million Americans suffer from incontinence or other bladder-control problems. (Nearly 50 percent of nursing-home residents are incontinent.) There are two types: stress incontinence and urge incontinence. People who are stress incontinent leak urine while coughing, sneezing, laughing, or lifting heavy objects. People who are urge incontinent have what is commonly known as an overactive bladder. For the urge incontinent, the need to void one's bladder—which can hold about 24 ounces of urine at its top capacity—can come suddenly and uncontrollably.
Wearing adult diapers is one of the few medication-free ways that incontinent people can feel comfortable going out in public. Adult diapers are exactly what they sound like—padded, disposable cotton briefs similar to those worn by infants. There are two layers to most well-made adult diapers. The inside is composed of hydrophilic material that attracts liquid, while the outside is composed of hydrophobic material, which prevents the liquid from seeping through. "You don't want that clamminess on your skin," said Gary Evans, owner of incontinence supply house XP Medical.
A couple of months ago, Slate asked me to field-test various adult diapers for its "Geezers" issue. In many ways, I was an unlikely choice—I am a 27-year-old male, and incontinence primarily afflicts women and the elderly. Then again, I am prone to back pain, influenza, sinusitis, digestive malfunctions, and swollen fingertips; I eat poorly, exercise infrequently, drink heavily, and never sit if I can slouch. If there is anybody who is due for a painful and unhappy old age, it is me.
Methodology
There are several Web sites, like the Incontinence Resource Center, that rank adult diapers from best to worst. As for my experiment, my methodology was simple. I was testing for wearability, for absorbency, for longevity, and for style. I rated the diapers in each category on a 5-point scale for a total of 20 possible points.
Wearability (5 possible points)
While you will never really feel comfortable in an adult diaper, some are more wearable than others. Several criteria are encompassed in this metric. Does the diaper fit? Does it feel like genuine cotton underwear, or does it feel like you're wearing a stack of paper towels? Does it provoke scratching and crotch-adjusting to the point at which it would be noticeable in public? Can you wear the diaper for extended periods without feeling like Baby Huey? Do you ever forget that it's there?
Absorbency (5 possible points)
This, of course, is the big one. A good diaper should be able to absorb as much liquid as a brimming bladder can expel. How much liquid can the diaper hold, and how much can it hold comfortably? How well does it absorb that liquid? Does it keep you dry? Is it prone to leaks? At what point does the diaper start feeling like a used sponge? At what point does it start feeling like a swimming pool?
Longevity (5 possible points)
"You're relying on the product to perform the process that your bladder's not—storing urine," said Gary Evans. Thus, it's important that an adult diaper be wearable even after it has been soiled. Besides, spare diapers are like spare tires: You can't really bring either to a cocktail party. How long can a used diaper be worn comfortably? At what point does a quick-change act become necessary?
Style (5 possible points)
Diaper style doesn't matter so much for babies, who don't know any better and who cry all the time, anyway. But it's important for adults. If you are a slender, incontinent man, will the diaper ruin your silhouette? Does it make it difficult to fit into pants? Can you wear an adult diaper and still feel sexy?
I chose six brands of diapers—all the "superabsorbent" kind—and put them through a rigorous, three-prong testing process. First, I subjected them to clinical and scientific wetness testing. (I poured water on them from a measuring cup and watched for sogginess.) Next, I wore them dry as I went about my daily routine—to work, on the subway, to the low joints that I frequent at night. Finally, I wore them wet. With my own urine. (Ah, the things that we do for science, and money.)
Store Brands
For the sad soul who is both incontinent and destitute, and for nobody else. Conventional wisdom says that any savings that may result from using generic personal-hygiene products are subsumed by the discomfort that users must endure. This is doubly true for generic adult diapers. Unless you are impoverished, or a masochist, there is no reason to go generic. The savings are minimal, and so is the quality.
I tested three different store brands: Target (Affirm), Walgreens (Certainty), and Kroger (Kroger), all of which were similar in price (low) and quality (low). The simple verdict: Don't use the store brand if you have any plans at all to do anything that day besides change your adult diaper.
My experience with Kroger was particularly memorable, which isn't a good thing when it comes to diapers. They were about as absorbent as a drainpipe, sagging under the weight of the water and leaking like Daniel Ellsberg. These pull-on-style diapers went on easily and didn't actually feel too bad when I wore them dry, but years of using my congenitally cheap roommate's Rite-Aid-brand toilet paper has steeled me for discomfort.
Eventually I consumed enough liquor to muster the courage to wear them wet. Unfortunately, consuming all that liquor also mustered enough urine to make the testing process one of the more unpleasant experiences of my life. The diaper swelled until it could swell no more, at which point streams of urine began running down the sides of my legs. Even though I had locked myself in a bathroom to perform the test, I still feel unaccountably ashamed, as if God were laughing at me—a feeling made worse by my inability to exit the diaper. The Kroger diaper features quick-release strips on its sides so that wearers can rip the sides for a quick and easy exit. But the strips didn't immediately rip, and I just stood there stymied for a few seconds, tugging ineffectively at a wet adult diaper and feeling as if there must be easier ways to make a living.
Afterward, I headed directly to the shower.
Wearability: 2
Absorbency: 1
Longevity 1
Style: 2
Total: 6
Depend Super Plus Absorbency Adjustable Underwear
Perhaps the best-known brand of adult diaper, thanks to the long-running commercials featuring Little Women star June Allyson. Many of the adult diapers I came across boasted soothing and gentle names like Depend or Affirm. This makes sense—people want to trust their adult diapers. A product with a name like Mystique probably wouldn't sell very well.
I tested the Super Plus Absorbency Adjustable Underwear variety (now with worry-free odor control!), which looked and felt like a cut-rate codpiece. While it was comfortable and largely itch-free, the main problem was that the garment didn't fit. It is undoubtedly difficult to make a one-size-fits-all adult diaper, but I fell squarely inside the L/XL size according to the chart on the box, and I could have fit another person in these briefs. (This is speculation: I did not attempt this.)
As absorbency goes, Depend is adequate at best. While much better than the Kroger diaper, Depend still had trouble comfortably holding more than a pint's worth of liquid. When I wore it wet, the poor fit really became a problem—it felt like a damp, loose towel was wrapped around my waist. When it comes to "rewet absorbency" (how much liquid an already wet diaper will absorb), Depend does not perform well; it's necessary to change diapers if you're planning to double dip.
One final note: Depend claims that you can change these diapers without having to remove your clothes. I tried this several times, and am pretty sure that this is false. Maybe it's a practice-makes-perfect thing, but it was essentially impossible to change these diapers while still wearing my pants. Impossible and disgusting—it always felt like the urine was going to brush up against the inside of my jeans, leaving me with stink-thigh. And besides, you'll have to remove your clothes to don a new diaper, so it's not really a significant time savings.
Wearability: 2
Absorbency: 3
Longevity: 3
Style: 2
Total: 10
This article on Adult Diapers is great. Ahhh...the things one will do for money.
Current mood: blustery
geezers: All things elderly.
What's the Best Adult Diaper?That depends.
By Justin Peters
Updated Wednesday, Sept. 10, 2008, at 11:47 AM ET
Read more from Slate's Geezers issue.
Aging can be a cruel process. You get liver spots. You slow down. You start hurting everywhere. You take more pills than Janis Joplin in her prime.
But it's not just the physical aches and pains that get to you. Your dignity can begin to evaporate as well. There's the patronizing look from the waiter as you struggle to read a menu. The inability to perform simple tasks that were once executed with ease. The subtle erosion of your independence.
All of these problems are exacerbated when you start urinating in your pants.
The reality of the age-related regression to a state resembling infancy is never clearer than when you lose control of your bladder. You start buying clothes not so much for style or comfort as for how well they hide a telltale stain. At social events, you chart bathroom routes and exit strategies. Every long car ride becomes a chore, every airplane ride a potential disaster, every happy hour a decidedly unhappy hour.
According to the National Association for Continence, more than 25 million Americans suffer from incontinence or other bladder-control problems. (Nearly 50 percent of nursing-home residents are incontinent.) There are two types: stress incontinence and urge incontinence. People who are stress incontinent leak urine while coughing, sneezing, laughing, or lifting heavy objects. People who are urge incontinent have what is commonly known as an overactive bladder. For the urge incontinent, the need to void one's bladder—which can hold about 24 ounces of urine at its top capacity—can come suddenly and uncontrollably.
Wearing adult diapers is one of the few medication-free ways that incontinent people can feel comfortable going out in public. Adult diapers are exactly what they sound like—padded, disposable cotton briefs similar to those worn by infants. There are two layers to most well-made adult diapers. The inside is composed of hydrophilic material that attracts liquid, while the outside is composed of hydrophobic material, which prevents the liquid from seeping through. "You don't want that clamminess on your skin," said Gary Evans, owner of incontinence supply house XP Medical.
A couple of months ago, Slate asked me to field-test various adult diapers for its "Geezers" issue. In many ways, I was an unlikely choice—I am a 27-year-old male, and incontinence primarily afflicts women and the elderly. Then again, I am prone to back pain, influenza, sinusitis, digestive malfunctions, and swollen fingertips; I eat poorly, exercise infrequently, drink heavily, and never sit if I can slouch. If there is anybody who is due for a painful and unhappy old age, it is me.
Methodology
There are several Web sites, like the Incontinence Resource Center, that rank adult diapers from best to worst. As for my experiment, my methodology was simple. I was testing for wearability, for absorbency, for longevity, and for style. I rated the diapers in each category on a 5-point scale for a total of 20 possible points.
Wearability (5 possible points)
While you will never really feel comfortable in an adult diaper, some are more wearable than others. Several criteria are encompassed in this metric. Does the diaper fit? Does it feel like genuine cotton underwear, or does it feel like you're wearing a stack of paper towels? Does it provoke scratching and crotch-adjusting to the point at which it would be noticeable in public? Can you wear the diaper for extended periods without feeling like Baby Huey? Do you ever forget that it's there?
Absorbency (5 possible points)
This, of course, is the big one. A good diaper should be able to absorb as much liquid as a brimming bladder can expel. How much liquid can the diaper hold, and how much can it hold comfortably? How well does it absorb that liquid? Does it keep you dry? Is it prone to leaks? At what point does the diaper start feeling like a used sponge? At what point does it start feeling like a swimming pool?
Longevity (5 possible points)
"You're relying on the product to perform the process that your bladder's not—storing urine," said Gary Evans. Thus, it's important that an adult diaper be wearable even after it has been soiled. Besides, spare diapers are like spare tires: You can't really bring either to a cocktail party. How long can a used diaper be worn comfortably? At what point does a quick-change act become necessary?
Style (5 possible points)
Diaper style doesn't matter so much for babies, who don't know any better and who cry all the time, anyway. But it's important for adults. If you are a slender, incontinent man, will the diaper ruin your silhouette? Does it make it difficult to fit into pants? Can you wear an adult diaper and still feel sexy?
I chose six brands of diapers—all the "superabsorbent" kind—and put them through a rigorous, three-prong testing process. First, I subjected them to clinical and scientific wetness testing. (I poured water on them from a measuring cup and watched for sogginess.) Next, I wore them dry as I went about my daily routine—to work, on the subway, to the low joints that I frequent at night. Finally, I wore them wet. With my own urine. (Ah, the things that we do for science, and money.)
Walgreens
Store Brands
For the sad soul who is both incontinent and destitute, and for nobody else. Conventional wisdom says that any savings that may result from using generic personal-hygiene products are subsumed by the discomfort that users must endure. This is doubly true for generic adult diapers. Unless you are impoverished, or a masochist, there is no reason to go generic. The savings are minimal, and so is the quality.
I tested three different store brands: Target (Affirm), Walgreens (Certainty), and Kroger (Kroger), all of which were similar in price (low) and quality (low). The simple verdict: Don't use the store brand if you have any plans at all to do anything that day besides change your adult diaper.
My experience with Kroger was particularly memorable, which isn't a good thing when it comes to diapers. They were about as absorbent as a drainpipe, sagging under the weight of the water and leaking like Daniel Ellsberg. These pull-on-style diapers went on easily and didn't actually feel too bad when I wore them dry, but years of using my congenitally cheap roommate's Rite-Aid-brand toilet paper has steeled me for discomfort.
Eventually I consumed enough liquor to muster the courage to wear them wet. Unfortunately, consuming all that liquor also mustered enough urine to make the testing process one of the more unpleasant experiences of my life. The diaper swelled until it could swell no more, at which point streams of urine began running down the sides of my legs. Even though I had locked myself in a bathroom to perform the test, I still feel unaccountably ashamed, as if God were laughing at me—a feeling made worse by my inability to exit the diaper. The Kroger diaper features quick-release strips on its sides so that wearers can rip the sides for a quick and easy exit. But the strips didn't immediately rip, and I just stood there stymied for a few seconds, tugging ineffectively at a wet adult diaper and feeling as if there must be easier ways to make a living.
Afterward, I headed directly to the shower.
Wearability: 2
Absorbency: 1
Longevity 1
Style: 2
Total: 6
Depend Super Plus Absorbency Adjustable Underwear
Depend Super Plus Absorbency Adjustable Underwear
Perhaps the best-known brand of adult diaper, thanks to the long-running commercials featuring Little Women star June Allyson. Many of the adult diapers I came across boasted soothing and gentle names like Depend or Affirm. This makes sense—people want to trust their adult diapers. A product with a name like Mystique probably wouldn't sell very well.
I tested the Super Plus Absorbency Adjustable Underwear variety (now with worry-free odor control!), which looked and felt like a cut-rate codpiece. While it was comfortable and largely itch-free, the main problem was that the garment didn't fit. It is undoubtedly difficult to make a one-size-fits-all adult diaper, but I fell squarely inside the L/XL size according to the chart on the box, and I could have fit another person in these briefs. (This is speculation: I did not attempt this.)
As absorbency goes, Depend is adequate at best. While much better than the Kroger diaper, Depend still had trouble comfortably holding more than a pint's worth of liquid. When I wore it wet, the poor fit really became a problem—it felt like a damp, loose towel was wrapped around my waist. When it comes to "rewet absorbency" (how much liquid an already wet diaper will absorb), Depend does not perform well; it's necessary to change diapers if you're planning to double dip.
One final note: Depend claims that you can change these diapers without having to remove your clothes. I tried this several times, and am pretty sure that this is false. Maybe it's a practice-makes-perfect thing, but it was essentially impossible to change these diapers while still wearing my pants. Impossible and disgusting—it always felt like the urine was going to brush up against the inside of my jeans, leaving me with stink-thigh. And besides, you'll have to remove your clothes to don a new diaper, so it's not really a significant time savings.
Wearability: 2
Absorbency: 3
Longevity: 3
Style: 2
Total: 10
Attends Underwear Super Plus Absorbency With Leak Barriers
Attends Underwear Super Plus Absorbency With Leak Barriers
The word Attends sounds a lot like the word Depend, and, indeed, the two brands are similar—similar in their mediocrity, that is. Like Depend, Attends was functional, but its performance certainly wasn't great. None of the American diapers was that great, actually. There is an economic reason for this. The vast majority of American-made adult diapers are purchased by hospitals, Medicare, and Medicaid. These institutional purchasers are mostly interested in saving money, so diaper manufacturers tailor their products to their buyers' demands, producing diapers that are, essentially, cheap and cheaply made.
Attends fit a little bit better than Depend, although I would not recommend wearing either of them underneath tight pants. ("Relaxed fit" is the phrase to remember when it comes to buying diaper-friendly trousers.) It was the most comfortable domestic diaper when it came to long-term wear, but that's sort of like saying that first-degree burns are the best kind of burn. While, like a Depend, it held about 16 ounces of liquid before structural integrity was breached, it certainly did not live up to its expected absorbency.
A basic Attends brief promises to hold about 15 ounces of liquid; you would expect that the Super Plus Absorbency variety would exceed that capacity. It did not, which is no big surprise, according to diaper guru Gary Evans, who explained how manufacturers test their product absorbency: "They dunk the entire product, leave it there for a certain amount of time, allow the surface liquid to drain off, and weigh the product to see how much liquid it absorbs. I find that, realistically, you'd be lucky to get half of [the advertised absorbency]." I found that, realistically, American adult-diaper manufacturers are sort of bastards.
Of course, for many people, incontinence is manifested not in sudden, game-changing urinary explosions but in the small and steady drips characteristic of stress incontinence. I therefore subjected all of the diapers to the "drip test," dousing myself periodically with small amounts of liquid over the span of a few hours. (It is extremely hard for a strong-bladdered man to simulate stress incontinence, so I did this by pouring water into my crotch.) I can say that Attends is perfectly fine when it comes to catching drips. Just don't ask it to soak up a gusher.
Wearability: 3
Absorbency: 3
Longevity: 3
Style: 2
Total: 11
This article on Adult Diapers is great. Ahhh...the things one will do for money.
Current mood: blustery
geezers: All things elderly.
What's the Best Adult Diaper?That depends.
By Justin Peters
Updated Wednesday, Sept. 10, 2008, at 11:47 AM ET
Read more from Slate's Geezers issue.
Aging can be a cruel process. You get liver spots. You slow down. You start hurting everywhere. You take more pills than Janis Joplin in her prime.
But it's not just the physical aches and pains that get to you. Your dignity can begin to evaporate as well. There's the patronizing look from the waiter as you struggle to read a menu. The inability to perform simple tasks that were once executed with ease. The subtle erosion of your independence.
All of these problems are exacerbated when you start urinating in your pants.
The reality of the age-related regression to a state resembling infancy is never clearer than when you lose control of your bladder. You start buying clothes not so much for style or comfort as for how well they hide a telltale stain. At social events, you chart bathroom routes and exit strategies. Every long car ride becomes a chore, every airplane ride a potential disaster, every happy hour a decidedly unhappy hour.
According to the National Association for Continence, more than 25 million Americans suffer from incontinence or other bladder-control problems. (Nearly 50 percent of nursing-home residents are incontinent.) There are two types: stress incontinence and urge incontinence. People who are stress incontinent leak urine while coughing, sneezing, laughing, or lifting heavy objects. People who are urge incontinent have what is commonly known as an overactive bladder. For the urge incontinent, the need to void one's bladder—which can hold about 24 ounces of urine at its top capacity—can come suddenly and uncontrollably.
Wearing adult diapers is one of the few medication-free ways that incontinent people can feel comfortable going out in public. Adult diapers are exactly what they sound like—padded, disposable cotton briefs similar to those worn by infants. There are two layers to most well-made adult diapers. The inside is composed of hydrophilic material that attracts liquid, while the outside is composed of hydrophobic material, which prevents the liquid from seeping through. "You don't want that clamminess on your skin," said Gary Evans, owner of incontinence supply house XP Medical.
A couple of months ago, Slate asked me to field-test various adult diapers for its "Geezers" issue. In many ways, I was an unlikely choice—I am a 27-year-old male, and incontinence primarily afflicts women and the elderly. Then again, I am prone to back pain, influenza, sinusitis, digestive malfunctions, and swollen fingertips; I eat poorly, exercise infrequently, drink heavily, and never sit if I can slouch. If there is anybody who is due for a painful and unhappy old age, it is me.
Methodology
There are several Web sites, like the Incontinence Resource Center, that rank adult diapers from best to worst. As for my experiment, my methodology was simple. I was testing for wearability, for absorbency, for longevity, and for style. I rated the diapers in each category on a 5-point scale for a total of 20 possible points.
Wearability (5 possible points)
While you will never really feel comfortable in an adult diaper, some are more wearable than others. Several criteria are encompassed in this metric. Does the diaper fit? Does it feel like genuine cotton underwear, or does it feel like you're wearing a stack of paper towels? Does it provoke scratching and crotch-adjusting to the point at which it would be noticeable in public? Can you wear the diaper for extended periods without feeling like Baby Huey? Do you ever forget that it's there?
Absorbency (5 possible points)
This, of course, is the big one. A good diaper should be able to absorb as much liquid as a brimming bladder can expel. How much liquid can the diaper hold, and how much can it hold comfortably? How well does it absorb that liquid? Does it keep you dry? Is it prone to leaks? At what point does the diaper start feeling like a used sponge? At what point does it start feeling like a swimming pool?
Longevity (5 possible points)
"You're relying on the product to perform the process that your bladder's not—storing urine," said Gary Evans. Thus, it's important that an adult diaper be wearable even after it has been soiled. Besides, spare diapers are like spare tires: You can't really bring either to a cocktail party. How long can a used diaper be worn comfortably? At what point does a quick-change act become necessary?
Style (5 possible points)
Diaper style doesn't matter so much for babies, who don't know any better and who cry all the time, anyway. But it's important for adults. If you are a slender, incontinent man, will the diaper ruin your silhouette? Does it make it difficult to fit into pants? Can you wear an adult diaper and still feel sexy?
I chose six brands of diapers—all the "superabsorbent" kind—and put them through a rigorous, three-prong testing process. First, I subjected them to clinical and scientific wetness testing. (I poured water on them from a measuring cup and watched for sogginess.) Next, I wore them dry as I went about my daily routine—to work, on the subway, to the low joints that I frequent at night. Finally, I wore them wet. With my own urine. (Ah, the things that we do for science, and money.)
Walgreens
Store Brands
For the sad soul who is both incontinent and destitute, and for nobody else. Conventional wisdom says that any savings that may result from using generic personal-hygiene products are subsumed by the discomfort that users must endure. This is doubly true for generic adult diapers. Unless you are impoverished, or a masochist, there is no reason to go generic. The savings are minimal, and so is the quality.
I tested three different store brands: Target (Affirm), Walgreens (Certainty), and Kroger (Kroger), all of which were similar in price (low) and quality (low). The simple verdict: Don't use the store brand if you have any plans at all to do anything that day besides change your adult diaper.
My experience with Kroger was particularly memorable, which isn't a good thing when it comes to diapers. They were about as absorbent as a drainpipe, sagging under the weight of the water and leaking like Daniel Ellsberg. These pull-on-style diapers went on easily and didn't actually feel too bad when I wore them dry, but years of using my congenitally cheap roommate's Rite-Aid-brand toilet paper has steeled me for discomfort.
Eventually I consumed enough liquor to muster the courage to wear them wet. Unfortunately, consuming all that liquor also mustered enough urine to make the testing process one of the more unpleasant experiences of my life. The diaper swelled until it could swell no more, at which point streams of urine began running down the sides of my legs. Even though I had locked myself in a bathroom to perform the test, I still feel unaccountably ashamed, as if God were laughing at me—a feeling made worse by my inability to exit the diaper. The Kroger diaper features quick-release strips on its sides so that wearers can rip the sides for a quick and easy exit. But the strips didn't immediately rip, and I just stood there stymied for a few seconds, tugging ineffectively at a wet adult diaper and feeling as if there must be easier ways to make a living.
Afterward, I headed directly to the shower.
Wearability: 2
Absorbency: 1
Longevity 1
Style: 2
Total: 6
Depend Super Plus Absorbency Adjustable Underwear
Depend Super Plus Absorbency Adjustable Underwear
Perhaps the best-known brand of adult diaper, thanks to the long-running commercials featuring Little Women star June Allyson. Many of the adult diapers I came across boasted soothing and gentle names like Depend or Affirm. This makes sense—people want to trust their adult diapers. A product with a name like Mystique probably wouldn't sell very well.
I tested the Super Plus Absorbency Adjustable Underwear variety (now with worry-free odor control!), which looked and felt like a cut-rate codpiece. While it was comfortable and largely itch-free, the main problem was that the garment didn't fit. It is undoubtedly difficult to make a one-size-fits-all adult diaper, but I fell squarely inside the L/XL size according to the chart on the box, and I could have fit another person in these briefs. (This is speculation: I did not attempt this.)
As absorbency goes, Depend is adequate at best. While much better than the Kroger diaper, Depend still had trouble comfortably holding more than a pint's worth of liquid. When I wore it wet, the poor fit really became a problem—it felt like a damp, loose towel was wrapped around my waist. When it comes to "rewet absorbency" (how much liquid an already wet diaper will absorb), Depend does not perform well; it's necessary to change diapers if you're planning to double dip.
One final note: Depend claims that you can change these diapers without having to remove your clothes. I tried this several times, and am pretty sure that this is false. Maybe it's a practice-makes-perfect thing, but it was essentially impossible to change these diapers while still wearing my pants. Impossible and disgusting—it always felt like the urine was going to brush up against the inside of my jeans, leaving me with stink-thigh. And besides, you'll have to remove your clothes to don a new diaper, so it's not really a significant time savings.
Wearability: 2
Absorbency: 3
Longevity: 3
Style: 2
Total: 10
Attends Underwear Super Plus Absorbency With Leak Barriers
Attends Underwear Super Plus Absorbency With Leak Barriers
The word Attends sounds a lot like the word Depend, and, indeed, the two brands are similar—similar in their mediocrity, that is. Like Depend, Attends was functional, but its performance certainly wasn't great. None of the American diapers was that great, actually. There is an economic reason for this. The vast majority of American-made adult diapers are purchased by hospitals, Medicare, and Medicaid. These institutional purchasers are mostly interested in saving money, so diaper manufacturers tailor their products to their buyers' demands, producing diapers that are, essentially, cheap and cheaply made.
Attends fit a little bit better than Depend, although I would not recommend wearing either of them underneath tight pants. ("Relaxed fit" is the phrase to remember when it comes to buying diaper-friendly trousers.) It was the most comfortable domestic diaper when it came to long-term wear, but that's sort of like saying that first-degree burns are the best kind of burn. While, like a Depend, it held about 16 ounces of liquid before structural integrity was breached, it certainly did not live up to its expected absorbency.
A basic Attends brief promises to hold about 15 ounces of liquid; you would expect that the Super Plus Absorbency variety would exceed that capacity. It did not, which is no big surprise, according to diaper guru Gary Evans, who explained how manufacturers test their product absorbency: "They dunk the entire product, leave it there for a certain amount of time, allow the surface liquid to drain off, and weigh the product to see how much liquid it absorbs. I find that, realistically, you'd be lucky to get half of [the advertised absorbency]." I found that, realistically, American adult-diaper manufacturers are sort of bastards.
Of course, for many people, incontinence is manifested not in sudden, game-changing urinary explosions but in the small and steady drips characteristic of stress incontinence. I therefore subjected all of the diapers to the "drip test," dousing myself periodically with small amounts of liquid over the span of a few hours. (It is extremely hard for a strong-bladdered man to simulate stress incontinence, so I did this by pouring water into my crotch.) I can say that Attends is perfectly fine when it comes to catching drips. Just don't ask it to soak up a gusher.
Wearability: 3
Absorbency: 3
Longevity: 3
Style: 2
Total: 11
Molicare Super Plus Adult Diapers
Molicare Super Plus Adult Diapers
Like chocolate, beer, and jewel thieves, the best adult diapers come from Europe. This is not coincidental. European manufacturers don't have to cater to institutional purchasers' demands, so they're more likely to sell on quality rather than cost.
The top-of-the-line European diapers are made by a company called Abena; their diapers boast a ridiculous 4,100-milliliter absorbency (more than a gallon). Sadly, I had trouble tracking these down stateside. European diapers typically aren't sold in drugstores and have to be purchased from specialty retailers or online merchants. I did, however, get to test-drive the awesome Molicare Super Plus. If Abena is the Mercedes of adult diapers, then Molicare is at least comparable to a Volvo. Bulkier than its domestic counterparts, the Molicare is nonetheless a more wearable product, thanks to its superior fit, which envelops your netherlands snugly and completely. It felt like I was wearing one of those portable seat cushions that people bring to high-school football games. Frankly, I felt voluptuous.
The European advantage was most evident when the Molicare got wet. Orders of magnitude more absorbent than Depends, Attends, or Kroger, the Super Plus never leaked, not even after two rewettings. My legs were never clammy while wearing it wet; indeed, I felt as comfortable as one can probably feel after having urinated in one's pants. When my bladder finally starts down the road to unreliability, I'm going European.
Wearability: 4
Absorbency: 5
Longevity: 5
Style: 4
Total: 18
P.S. I know my music says New Kids On The Block. I couldn't half believe it myself. And the craziest thing about it is that, it's a GOOD cd! Really!
Tuesday 9 September 2008
Ummmm UPDATE!
So let's see here. Some significant stuff has gone down, and I'm not quite sure where to start with all of it. Let's see here. In the beginning, Daniel is no more. I'm not quite sure what went down with that, but one second he's talking totally great game and the next? Poof! His ass is out. STILL haven't heard a peep from him and it's been two weeks. So...yeah I still haven't decided what to feel about that. I'm not sure if I mentioned it, but Frank is married now. He's officially Frank Kelley of Los Angeles, so I guess that's a good thing but it still makes me feel raw, so I'm not going into it.
I started my new job at GMMB last week and it was very, very interesting. It's a complete 360 switch from my current job at DOL. For one thing, it's not the federal government, so that means we get to cut through all the bullshit upfront, and I'm not dealing with the beaucracy and shit, but at the same time, there's a completely different atmosphere. It's very quiet. Surprisingly. It's eerily quiet and people are always about their business there. It's like when they stop to talk to you at their lunch break, their always constantly moving back towards their desk, scooting their bodies away with their heads turned in your direction as not to appear disrespectful so they can get back to work. They're all Democrats as well, which is interesting. Here in ODEP, everyone's a Republican. You even act like you're gonna say Obama's name, and it's like Scar from the Lion King when Mufasa had been killed and he was the new ruler. Bitch slapping everyone around like it wasn't shit. Emotionally anyway. Speaking of which, the work there is very mentally intense. Which is way different from DOL as well. The work here can vary from simple mundane stuff to interesting and creative, where as what I've dealt with at GMMB is very research oriented and requires a lot of looking, and cutting and it's just different. I spent seven hours looking at Condoleeza Rice's face as I was coming up with a biography for her. But I can honestly say I have a lot more respect for her.
So my Xbox had died a few weeks back, (the red rings claimed it) and I sent it to Microsoft to deal with, and they supposedly did and sent it back to me, much to my delight which I celebrated with Too Human and Rock Band, but to my dismay I found out that it wasn't actually fixed at all, as the disc keeping skipping and the lazer won't read past a certain point. So it's broke. Again. I'm so pissed about that. Microsoft is getting on my nerves with this shit. Has the Playstation ever broke? Past the first time when it fried? Nope. But the Xbox, this is my third time dealing with this, and it's ridiculous. But I'll have to wait another two weeks before I can enjoy the pleasures of Too Human, I suppose.
To top that off, my laptop is also now finally dead. I couldn't get it to maintain a charge any longer, and it just died over the weekend. So I'm totally bummed about that, but my dad found me a good desktop replacement via Lenovo and so I got a computer that would've been 750, for 400. But it won't arrive for another three weeks. So bummer to that too. It seems like everything is breaking down.
But in all of this, I invited CJ up this weekend (and paid for the train ticket) so I'm looking forward to seeing him on Friday and I think we'll have a really good weekend coming up. I just gotta figure out what we're gonna do.
P.S. I wanna knock that Palin bitch the fuck out for calling Obama a community organizer. BITCH! What the fuck do you know about anything? Not SHIT! Alaska is on the edge of the known world. They don't even operate on our levels of economy or family values (where the consent age is 16) so it doesn't make any kind of sense for her to saying what she's saying. I hope to God the Democrats mop the floor with these bitches come November. I can't stand listening to their bullshit.
P.P.S. Damn I almost forgot. Shame on me.
BIG PROPS AND KUDOS TO BRITNEY SPEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE WON 3 MTV MOONMEN LAST NIGHT INCLUDING VIDEO OF THE YEAR AND BEST POP VIDEO (after not winning 1, ever) AND HER COMEBACK IS OFFICIALLY COMPLETE. CONGRATULATIONS, GIRL! WE LOVE YOU!
I started my new job at GMMB last week and it was very, very interesting. It's a complete 360 switch from my current job at DOL. For one thing, it's not the federal government, so that means we get to cut through all the bullshit upfront, and I'm not dealing with the beaucracy and shit, but at the same time, there's a completely different atmosphere. It's very quiet. Surprisingly. It's eerily quiet and people are always about their business there. It's like when they stop to talk to you at their lunch break, their always constantly moving back towards their desk, scooting their bodies away with their heads turned in your direction as not to appear disrespectful so they can get back to work. They're all Democrats as well, which is interesting. Here in ODEP, everyone's a Republican. You even act like you're gonna say Obama's name, and it's like Scar from the Lion King when Mufasa had been killed and he was the new ruler. Bitch slapping everyone around like it wasn't shit. Emotionally anyway. Speaking of which, the work there is very mentally intense. Which is way different from DOL as well. The work here can vary from simple mundane stuff to interesting and creative, where as what I've dealt with at GMMB is very research oriented and requires a lot of looking, and cutting and it's just different. I spent seven hours looking at Condoleeza Rice's face as I was coming up with a biography for her. But I can honestly say I have a lot more respect for her.
So my Xbox had died a few weeks back, (the red rings claimed it) and I sent it to Microsoft to deal with, and they supposedly did and sent it back to me, much to my delight which I celebrated with Too Human and Rock Band, but to my dismay I found out that it wasn't actually fixed at all, as the disc keeping skipping and the lazer won't read past a certain point. So it's broke. Again. I'm so pissed about that. Microsoft is getting on my nerves with this shit. Has the Playstation ever broke? Past the first time when it fried? Nope. But the Xbox, this is my third time dealing with this, and it's ridiculous. But I'll have to wait another two weeks before I can enjoy the pleasures of Too Human, I suppose.
To top that off, my laptop is also now finally dead. I couldn't get it to maintain a charge any longer, and it just died over the weekend. So I'm totally bummed about that, but my dad found me a good desktop replacement via Lenovo and so I got a computer that would've been 750, for 400. But it won't arrive for another three weeks. So bummer to that too. It seems like everything is breaking down.
But in all of this, I invited CJ up this weekend (and paid for the train ticket) so I'm looking forward to seeing him on Friday and I think we'll have a really good weekend coming up. I just gotta figure out what we're gonna do.
P.S. I wanna knock that Palin bitch the fuck out for calling Obama a community organizer. BITCH! What the fuck do you know about anything? Not SHIT! Alaska is on the edge of the known world. They don't even operate on our levels of economy or family values (where the consent age is 16) so it doesn't make any kind of sense for her to saying what she's saying. I hope to God the Democrats mop the floor with these bitches come November. I can't stand listening to their bullshit.
P.P.S. Damn I almost forgot. Shame on me.
BIG PROPS AND KUDOS TO BRITNEY SPEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE WON 3 MTV MOONMEN LAST NIGHT INCLUDING VIDEO OF THE YEAR AND BEST POP VIDEO (after not winning 1, ever) AND HER COMEBACK IS OFFICIALLY COMPLETE. CONGRATULATIONS, GIRL! WE LOVE YOU!
Saturday 30 August 2008
Articles on Icons Turning 50. Love it.
August 30, 2008 - Saturday
Aug. 29, 2008--Prince, Michael Jackson and Madonna. One last name, three big birthdays. The big 5-0. Mike crosses the threshold today (Happy Birthday!). Madonna hit it on August 16, and Prince is the elder of the bunch, having turned 50 on June 7.
Fifty? How did that happen?
To some, 50 is a marvelous milestone; to some it's a time to re-evaluate; to others, it's the beginning of the end. When we see our icons turn 50, we can't help but wonder…which one is it for them? Unlike the millions, the mansions and the fame—turning 50 is something we all can relate to.
Aging, the great equalizer.
But, of course, puzzling over this trifecta of pop royalty dashing over the hill is less about them, really, than it is about us. When one has vivid memories of junior high or high school make-out sessions to "Darling Nikki" and all of sudden Prince is 50, it is only natural to think: "How the hell old am I?" When you can pull out old photographs of you dressed up like Madonna at a seventh grade Halloween Party, and now Madonna is older than your mom was when she took you to that party, it hits you: "Jeez, I'm really getting up there."
But there is comfort in this realization of immortality. As pop stars age, something about them seems more accessible. They are suddenly more like us. Celebrities that we thought had perfect lives and perfect bodies are now…well, a little troubled and wrinkly (or so altered by surgery that they are a little scary). And we love it!
Fifty is an age that, for most people, sparks careful reflection on the successes and failures in their lives. Could this really be so different for the ultra-famous?
Take Madonna. She must look at her 50th birthday with pride at the fact that she is still making it rain on performers half her age. Forget Beyonce. With a new hit tour, Madonna is the still baddest chick in the game.
Transfer that thought to our own lives: We may not have a sold-out tour. But in giving props to the "Material Girl," we can take a moment to look at ourselves and think, "I did good." Reflecting on a life well-lived is a great feeling whether you're a pop star on stage or a mom fixing Pop-tarts in your kitchen.
And what about Prince? As one of the most talented musicians of our time, he is still heralded as royalty and with age he has become sophisticated and mature and, in many ways, more fabulous. His concerts are still the hottest tickets in town, and he has successfully transitioned from the "big freak" of the '80s to the biggest talent of the 20th century.
Like many of us, he must stop sometimes and think, "Boy, I was a little wild in my younger days, but boy did I have a blast." And like the rest of us, he probably feels lucky that he made it through in one piece and is happy for the person he's become.
At 50, it's a good time to look back at our youthful indiscretions and get a hearty chuckle out of them. The hair that made our parents crazy, the drugs, the wild behavior that almost got us sent to a military academy.
Character-builders, we call those experiences now, challenges and great memories. And hey, Prince's early days make most of ours look about as wild as our great-aunt's Mah Jong game. But like Prince, we can turn out alright, maybe even get better with age.
Then there's Michael Jackson. Poor thing. He represents the less joyful side of turning 50. That point where we all look up and say, "What the hell happened?" One day we're riding high and the next we look up and everything is in the crapper. Kids gone bad, career gone wrong. At 35, there was resilience; at 50, hopelessness creeps in and sometimes stays.
Michael Jackson represents the part of us that thinks: Could this happen to us? Could we live the life of our dreams and then one day, we're being pitied by the world? If the most famous man in the world can crumble like this, what hope is there for us mere mortals?
Plenty. That's the good thing about gauging ourselves against Michael. It's easy to look at him and feel like we could never possibly be that weird or screwed up. Our lives may be drama-filled, but M.J. serves as a cautionary tale to us all. Take a fifty-and-fabulous approach to aging and never let your life turn into a "Thriller."
Like Madonna and Prince and Michael, we all approach 50 from different places. Whether we are pleased to be 50, lucky to be 50 or sad and confused to be 50, if none of them have faded from the scene, then we don't have to either.
So let's raise a glass to salute the icons of our youth as they celebrate 50 this year. And let's raise a glass to all the regular Joes who have traveled these last decades with them, through the good, the bad and the ugly. (Did you hear that History album?—sheesh)
Now is a great time to reflect on not only what these artists have meant to our lives and our culture, but also a time to reflect on just how far we all have come…and how far we all have yet to go.
Jam Donaldson is a writer, attorney and television producer based in Washington, D.C.
Aug. 29, 2008--Prince, Michael Jackson and Madonna. One last name, three big birthdays. The big 5-0. Mike crosses the threshold today (Happy Birthday!). Madonna hit it on August 16, and Prince is the elder of the bunch, having turned 50 on June 7.
Fifty? How did that happen?
To some, 50 is a marvelous milestone; to some it's a time to re-evaluate; to others, it's the beginning of the end. When we see our icons turn 50, we can't help but wonder…which one is it for them? Unlike the millions, the mansions and the fame—turning 50 is something we all can relate to.
Aging, the great equalizer.
But, of course, puzzling over this trifecta of pop royalty dashing over the hill is less about them, really, than it is about us. When one has vivid memories of junior high or high school make-out sessions to "Darling Nikki" and all of sudden Prince is 50, it is only natural to think: "How the hell old am I?" When you can pull out old photographs of you dressed up like Madonna at a seventh grade Halloween Party, and now Madonna is older than your mom was when she took you to that party, it hits you: "Jeez, I'm really getting up there."
But there is comfort in this realization of immortality. As pop stars age, something about them seems more accessible. They are suddenly more like us. Celebrities that we thought had perfect lives and perfect bodies are now…well, a little troubled and wrinkly (or so altered by surgery that they are a little scary). And we love it!
Fifty is an age that, for most people, sparks careful reflection on the successes and failures in their lives. Could this really be so different for the ultra-famous?
Take Madonna. She must look at her 50th birthday with pride at the fact that she is still making it rain on performers half her age. Forget Beyonce. With a new hit tour, Madonna is the still baddest chick in the game.
Transfer that thought to our own lives: We may not have a sold-out tour. But in giving props to the "Material Girl," we can take a moment to look at ourselves and think, "I did good." Reflecting on a life well-lived is a great feeling whether you're a pop star on stage or a mom fixing Pop-tarts in your kitchen.
And what about Prince? As one of the most talented musicians of our time, he is still heralded as royalty and with age he has become sophisticated and mature and, in many ways, more fabulous. His concerts are still the hottest tickets in town, and he has successfully transitioned from the "big freak" of the '80s to the biggest talent of the 20th century.
Like many of us, he must stop sometimes and think, "Boy, I was a little wild in my younger days, but boy did I have a blast." And like the rest of us, he probably feels lucky that he made it through in one piece and is happy for the person he's become.
At 50, it's a good time to look back at our youthful indiscretions and get a hearty chuckle out of them. The hair that made our parents crazy, the drugs, the wild behavior that almost got us sent to a military academy.
Character-builders, we call those experiences now, challenges and great memories. And hey, Prince's early days make most of ours look about as wild as our great-aunt's Mah Jong game. But like Prince, we can turn out alright, maybe even get better with age.
Then there's Michael Jackson. Poor thing. He represents the less joyful side of turning 50. That point where we all look up and say, "What the hell happened?" One day we're riding high and the next we look up and everything is in the crapper. Kids gone bad, career gone wrong. At 35, there was resilience; at 50, hopelessness creeps in and sometimes stays.
Michael Jackson represents the part of us that thinks: Could this happen to us? Could we live the life of our dreams and then one day, we're being pitied by the world? If the most famous man in the world can crumble like this, what hope is there for us mere mortals?
Plenty. That's the good thing about gauging ourselves against Michael. It's easy to look at him and feel like we could never possibly be that weird or screwed up. Our lives may be drama-filled, but M.J. serves as a cautionary tale to us all. Take a fifty-and-fabulous approach to aging and never let your life turn into a "Thriller."
Like Madonna and Prince and Michael, we all approach 50 from different places. Whether we are pleased to be 50, lucky to be 50 or sad and confused to be 50, if none of them have faded from the scene, then we don't have to either.
So let's raise a glass to salute the icons of our youth as they celebrate 50 this year. And let's raise a glass to all the regular Joes who have traveled these last decades with them, through the good, the bad and the ugly. (Did you hear that History album?—sheesh)
Now is a great time to reflect on not only what these artists have meant to our lives and our culture, but also a time to reflect on just how far we all have come…and how far we all have yet to go.
Jam Donaldson is a writer, attorney and television producer based in Washington, D.C.
Wednesday 27 August 2008
When It Rains...It Pours...
That's such a true statement regarding certain circumstances in life. Especially mine at this moment. So the situation that has presented itself most recently says that I have three different jobs on three different branches each with it's own specific circumstances.
DOL: I've had the internship here since May, and it's getting ready to end September 30th. It pays over 15.00/hr but since it's coming to an end, there's not much I can do to stop that. Alternately, there's the VETS position that wasn't looking very lucrative until this morning. I just got a note that the guy wants to see me. Maybe we'll talk and find out what I can do about that.
KBR: This company has had me on hold for practically the entire summer. They started talking to me a few months ago and I've been keeping in contact with this chick Sabrina, who's been passing my resume along to the HR manager, who she claims is interested in possibly hiring me for a permanent position in their company for a junior cost executive. Starting salary at 38,000. That would be really REALLY nice at this point, but I don't know if I can trust that. I know enough in my life now to know that you can't depend on anything that looks like it's gonna go through. I mean, I thought I would making another 2,000 dollars before all this stuff went down.
GMMB: This company is the one that's presenting the most problems. There are serious pros and cons for this. It's the creative ad agency internship that I got a few weeks ago, and here's the pros:
*It's my dream job. I've always wanted to work in a creative ad agency after seeing Brian on Queer As Folk. I would love to own one because I think that's so cool and it's just SO up my alley.
*They have offices in DC, NY, and London. Which to me, means relocation to Europe, paid for by the company! Wouldn't that be awesome? To be working my dream job and living in my dream city all at one time. I think I would just explode from happiness.
*It would look totally kick ass on a resume. To say that you have experience at an ad agency (and it's not a small town nobody one, either) is really good for anyone trying to break into the business. It's like getting an internship at Vogue. The only true way to break into that business is to know someone who knows someone and I thank God that I ran into and connected with Jim Morrisey. Turns out that dinner at Guapos back in July turned out to be a blessing in disguise.
*The company itself is just awesome from what I've seen. I've had an interview there, got a chance to meet up with some of the people there, and they're all so laid back and chill, that it kicks total ass within the federal government. No more of this hierachy bullshit. Which is always a good thing. It's located in Georgetown, which is as prestigous as you can get in DC, so that's good.
And so I think that's a good pro list. But I have to complete it with a list of cons as well.
*The pay. I know that I'm lucky that they're paying anything at all, but it's only 9.00/hr. That's crucial. Especially when I'm used to pulling in 15. So it would be a large cut to what I'm normally prepared for.
*The hours. They're only giving me a maximum ability to do 20-30 a week. Which is less than part time. Ugh. Makes the money situation even worse.
*The actual location. Whereas Georgetown is totally awesome and completely posh and all of that, Wisconsin Ave, where GMMB is located is completely located on a slope, no rather an angle that's totally crucial for someone for someone in a wheelchair.
And that's pretty much it. This decision is so totally crucial that I don't know what to think about it. I'm doing this because I want to believe that I can launch myself into the right career doing this. This is what I want to do. I could do this job for the next 40 years happily, I think and that's why I'm making all these sacrifices for this. I just hope this is the right decision. I have no way of knowing at this point.
DOL: I've had the internship here since May, and it's getting ready to end September 30th. It pays over 15.00/hr but since it's coming to an end, there's not much I can do to stop that. Alternately, there's the VETS position that wasn't looking very lucrative until this morning. I just got a note that the guy wants to see me. Maybe we'll talk and find out what I can do about that.
KBR: This company has had me on hold for practically the entire summer. They started talking to me a few months ago and I've been keeping in contact with this chick Sabrina, who's been passing my resume along to the HR manager, who she claims is interested in possibly hiring me for a permanent position in their company for a junior cost executive. Starting salary at 38,000. That would be really REALLY nice at this point, but I don't know if I can trust that. I know enough in my life now to know that you can't depend on anything that looks like it's gonna go through. I mean, I thought I would making another 2,000 dollars before all this stuff went down.
GMMB: This company is the one that's presenting the most problems. There are serious pros and cons for this. It's the creative ad agency internship that I got a few weeks ago, and here's the pros:
*It's my dream job. I've always wanted to work in a creative ad agency after seeing Brian on Queer As Folk. I would love to own one because I think that's so cool and it's just SO up my alley.
*They have offices in DC, NY, and London. Which to me, means relocation to Europe, paid for by the company! Wouldn't that be awesome? To be working my dream job and living in my dream city all at one time. I think I would just explode from happiness.
*It would look totally kick ass on a resume. To say that you have experience at an ad agency (and it's not a small town nobody one, either) is really good for anyone trying to break into the business. It's like getting an internship at Vogue. The only true way to break into that business is to know someone who knows someone and I thank God that I ran into and connected with Jim Morrisey. Turns out that dinner at Guapos back in July turned out to be a blessing in disguise.
*The company itself is just awesome from what I've seen. I've had an interview there, got a chance to meet up with some of the people there, and they're all so laid back and chill, that it kicks total ass within the federal government. No more of this hierachy bullshit. Which is always a good thing. It's located in Georgetown, which is as prestigous as you can get in DC, so that's good.
And so I think that's a good pro list. But I have to complete it with a list of cons as well.
*The pay. I know that I'm lucky that they're paying anything at all, but it's only 9.00/hr. That's crucial. Especially when I'm used to pulling in 15. So it would be a large cut to what I'm normally prepared for.
*The hours. They're only giving me a maximum ability to do 20-30 a week. Which is less than part time. Ugh. Makes the money situation even worse.
*The actual location. Whereas Georgetown is totally awesome and completely posh and all of that, Wisconsin Ave, where GMMB is located is completely located on a slope, no rather an angle that's totally crucial for someone for someone in a wheelchair.
And that's pretty much it. This decision is so totally crucial that I don't know what to think about it. I'm doing this because I want to believe that I can launch myself into the right career doing this. This is what I want to do. I could do this job for the next 40 years happily, I think and that's why I'm making all these sacrifices for this. I just hope this is the right decision. I have no way of knowing at this point.
Sunday 17 August 2008
I'm Shocked. Completely Stunned. This Weekend is Like Wow....
Okay well like I said, the weekend is shaping up to be the best one I've had in a long time. The funny thing is, I was thinking it was gonna suck after what happened on Friday. At my job, apparently the people in the upper management are starting to notice me being away from my desk. I don't feel too bad about what's going on because quite frankly I'm not the kind of person that can sit in a box all day doing one thing or another. But since they keep asking me for that, I'm not do anything that's gonna mess up what I've got now. So anyway enough of that. I'd rather talk about the good stuff.
So last week I met up Royce and he was cool peoples. He wasn't exactly what I was expecting and all, but I still had a good time when he came over. He was truthful in saying that he doesn't say much, which is okay but I'm the kind of person that I'm attracted to other people that can blaze like me. We can be like two fireworks in one room and the energy would be crazy. He's more like a candle. No. A tealight. But he's still cool. So yeah he was staying over in the room, and I didn't wanna go to work, so I just dragged around making myself intentionally horny so he'd pay attention. haha. it worked. So yeah that was really good and afterward, I got dressed and headed off to work where I picked up a new shirt, some pants, a summer scarf, some glasses, and some new shoes for Sunday. Can't wait to hang out with Julia. This is gonna be the NY equivilent in DC tomorrow. But...in an extreme twist of fate...I got the INTERNSHIP!!!! GMMB offered it to me via email on Friday. I'm shocked. I'd love to accept it but I've got to figure out how that's gonna work with my finances first. And on top of that, I just started chatting with this guy Joel on Adam4Adam, and we're talking and the next thing I know I'm taking intimate photos with my camera and now he's coming over for dinner tonight!!!! How lucky am I to have found a white and latino guy in an area full of black guys all in one weekend? Damn, I'm good. LOL.
I was watching the Olympics and I love gymnastics. I wish I could do that myself. It looks soooo cool. Michael Phelps is so fucking amazing! I have never seen anyone like that move through water. He's totally amazing. He has 7 of 7 gold medals and if he wins his last one, he'll make history forever. Well he already did. But yeah it's totally crazy. We all know USA kicks ass! But he is country than a motherfucker! lol. Oh I read that Britney is FINALLY getting her act together and coming out with a new album and everything and I'm so relieved. For a while, I wondered if she was gonna commit suicide. But anyway, I've gotta go to get these groceries so I can cook for Joel. LOL. More info later!
So last week I met up Royce and he was cool peoples. He wasn't exactly what I was expecting and all, but I still had a good time when he came over. He was truthful in saying that he doesn't say much, which is okay but I'm the kind of person that I'm attracted to other people that can blaze like me. We can be like two fireworks in one room and the energy would be crazy. He's more like a candle. No. A tealight. But he's still cool. So yeah he was staying over in the room, and I didn't wanna go to work, so I just dragged around making myself intentionally horny so he'd pay attention. haha. it worked. So yeah that was really good and afterward, I got dressed and headed off to work where I picked up a new shirt, some pants, a summer scarf, some glasses, and some new shoes for Sunday. Can't wait to hang out with Julia. This is gonna be the NY equivilent in DC tomorrow. But...in an extreme twist of fate...I got the INTERNSHIP!!!! GMMB offered it to me via email on Friday. I'm shocked. I'd love to accept it but I've got to figure out how that's gonna work with my finances first. And on top of that, I just started chatting with this guy Joel on Adam4Adam, and we're talking and the next thing I know I'm taking intimate photos with my camera and now he's coming over for dinner tonight!!!! How lucky am I to have found a white and latino guy in an area full of black guys all in one weekend? Damn, I'm good. LOL.
I was watching the Olympics and I love gymnastics. I wish I could do that myself. It looks soooo cool. Michael Phelps is so fucking amazing! I have never seen anyone like that move through water. He's totally amazing. He has 7 of 7 gold medals and if he wins his last one, he'll make history forever. Well he already did. But yeah it's totally crazy. We all know USA kicks ass! But he is country than a motherfucker! lol. Oh I read that Britney is FINALLY getting her act together and coming out with a new album and everything and I'm so relieved. For a while, I wondered if she was gonna commit suicide. But anyway, I've gotta go to get these groceries so I can cook for Joel. LOL. More info later!
Monday 4 August 2008
Warning: Steam Vent-These Are My True Feelings, Not Sparing Yours! That Goes For EVERYONE.
I'm so tired of so many things that quite frankly after yesterday I need to list them for my own damn good.
*I'm tired of having to explain myself to everyone that I'm interested in.
*I'm tired of having to give the disclaimer concerning CP to everyone that makes me hot.
*I'm tired of having people like at me in pity. If I come in the club to speak to someone hot, it's not a charity case. I was probably looking to fuck.
*I'm tired of them telling me it's complicated for them. They don't think it's complicated for me? Shit!
*I'm tired of people acting like it was a mistake to start talking to me in the club when they realize the wheelchair next to the booth I'm in is mine.
*I'm tired of only being hit on by guys 20 and 30 years older than me. I wanna chat with guys my age, and I don't find you attractive. Stay in your lane.
*I'm tired of having to think back to the only love I've ever known, knowing it wasn't reciprocated and hating myself for it.
*I'm tired of thinking of the person I call, and being sad when he doesn't call me back.
*I'm tired of wondering if they are thinking of me at all.
*I'm tired of people telling me they understand how I feel. No the HELL you don't. When you get disagnosed with something that alters your entire life, let me know. NOT when you end up that way due to something you did (and that goes for everyone who ended up in a car accident whether it was your fault or not). It is NOT the same.
*I'm tired of seeing perfect bodies everywhere I choose to look.
*I'm tired of buying really expensive clothing and having it ruined the first time I wear it since dirt gets all over the sleeves, and I can't help it.
*I'm tired of ruining perfectly beauitful shoes from crawling around.
*I'm tired of being given tasks in the office because I can't be an office mule like other people in there.
*I'm tired of being told I'm the other person, when they realize I'm in a wheelchair.
*I'm tired of going to functions having to explain myself and struggle just to get where everyone else is.
*I'm tired of giving 250%, when everyone gives 60.
*I'm tired of hot women asking me if I'm gay and hot guys not.
*I'm tired of the shocked looks I get when I go in the club.
*I'm tired of the angry looks I get from waitstaff when I come in a resturant.
*I'm tired of the apologies I get from everyone that has to move shit around so I can.
*I'm tired of not having the ability to jump on a cab and go anywhere I choose.
*I'm tired of having to plan out my everyday and making alternate plans when it doesn't work.
*I'm tired of having to make others who care about me listen to this.
*I'm tired of only being 22 and feeling like I'm 88.
*I'm tired of waking up tired, and going to bed the same way.
*I'm tired of thinking of the fact that there is NO way out.
*I'm tired of listening to how great it is to be in your 20's in the prime of your life. That's not true for everyone.
*I'm tired of having to act like I give a shit about disability policy. I wasn't raised around it, and it still makes me feel uncomfortable.
*I'm tired of how other disabled feel they can relate to me because we look like we're in a category. No YOU are. I am not.
*I'm tired of being myself so that everyone can understand. I want to blend in like everyone else at times.
*I'm tired of being so different that I can't be anyone but myself. I deserve to be in that fraternity as much as anyone else who's already there, regardless of whatever the FUCK you think.
*I'm tired of feeling overwhelmed all the time. Being a triple minority can really weigh on your thoughts.
*I'm tired of having people lie to me over the phone and online. When you say you're gonna be somewhere. Do it. Don't fucking bullshit and back out. It makes you uncomfortable, say so. If not, don't.
*I'm tired of the mindset that tells me to automatically look for ramps and curbcuts whenever I go somewhere.
*I'm tired of the fact that if I know I have many blocks to roll somewhere, I have to look at the ground the whole time to remind myself it's not THAT far.
*I'm tired of seeing guys I want to talk to all the time, but knowing before I speak what a waste of time it would be.
*I'm tired of being told I'm inspirational. I don't do it for that. I do it because there is no choice. What should I do, die?
*And finally, I'm tired of thinking that suicide is an option out. That's not really an option, but I'm tired of thinking about it so many times a day.
*I'm tired of having to explain myself to everyone that I'm interested in.
*I'm tired of having to give the disclaimer concerning CP to everyone that makes me hot.
*I'm tired of having people like at me in pity. If I come in the club to speak to someone hot, it's not a charity case. I was probably looking to fuck.
*I'm tired of them telling me it's complicated for them. They don't think it's complicated for me? Shit!
*I'm tired of people acting like it was a mistake to start talking to me in the club when they realize the wheelchair next to the booth I'm in is mine.
*I'm tired of only being hit on by guys 20 and 30 years older than me. I wanna chat with guys my age, and I don't find you attractive. Stay in your lane.
*I'm tired of having to think back to the only love I've ever known, knowing it wasn't reciprocated and hating myself for it.
*I'm tired of thinking of the person I call, and being sad when he doesn't call me back.
*I'm tired of wondering if they are thinking of me at all.
*I'm tired of people telling me they understand how I feel. No the HELL you don't. When you get disagnosed with something that alters your entire life, let me know. NOT when you end up that way due to something you did (and that goes for everyone who ended up in a car accident whether it was your fault or not). It is NOT the same.
*I'm tired of seeing perfect bodies everywhere I choose to look.
*I'm tired of buying really expensive clothing and having it ruined the first time I wear it since dirt gets all over the sleeves, and I can't help it.
*I'm tired of ruining perfectly beauitful shoes from crawling around.
*I'm tired of being given tasks in the office because I can't be an office mule like other people in there.
*I'm tired of being told I'm the other person, when they realize I'm in a wheelchair.
*I'm tired of going to functions having to explain myself and struggle just to get where everyone else is.
*I'm tired of giving 250%, when everyone gives 60.
*I'm tired of hot women asking me if I'm gay and hot guys not.
*I'm tired of the shocked looks I get when I go in the club.
*I'm tired of the angry looks I get from waitstaff when I come in a resturant.
*I'm tired of the apologies I get from everyone that has to move shit around so I can.
*I'm tired of not having the ability to jump on a cab and go anywhere I choose.
*I'm tired of having to plan out my everyday and making alternate plans when it doesn't work.
*I'm tired of having to make others who care about me listen to this.
*I'm tired of only being 22 and feeling like I'm 88.
*I'm tired of waking up tired, and going to bed the same way.
*I'm tired of thinking of the fact that there is NO way out.
*I'm tired of listening to how great it is to be in your 20's in the prime of your life. That's not true for everyone.
*I'm tired of having to act like I give a shit about disability policy. I wasn't raised around it, and it still makes me feel uncomfortable.
*I'm tired of how other disabled feel they can relate to me because we look like we're in a category. No YOU are. I am not.
*I'm tired of being myself so that everyone can understand. I want to blend in like everyone else at times.
*I'm tired of being so different that I can't be anyone but myself. I deserve to be in that fraternity as much as anyone else who's already there, regardless of whatever the FUCK you think.
*I'm tired of feeling overwhelmed all the time. Being a triple minority can really weigh on your thoughts.
*I'm tired of having people lie to me over the phone and online. When you say you're gonna be somewhere. Do it. Don't fucking bullshit and back out. It makes you uncomfortable, say so. If not, don't.
*I'm tired of the mindset that tells me to automatically look for ramps and curbcuts whenever I go somewhere.
*I'm tired of the fact that if I know I have many blocks to roll somewhere, I have to look at the ground the whole time to remind myself it's not THAT far.
*I'm tired of seeing guys I want to talk to all the time, but knowing before I speak what a waste of time it would be.
*I'm tired of being told I'm inspirational. I don't do it for that. I do it because there is no choice. What should I do, die?
*And finally, I'm tired of thinking that suicide is an option out. That's not really an option, but I'm tired of thinking about it so many times a day.
Thursday 31 July 2008
The Spiderweb of Fate
That's how life is at the moment. It's a spiderweb of fate just spinning every which way, and I'm not sure where it's gonna end up. I've had interviews, more job postings, and I'm still posting, looking for something. I haven't heard anything back from the EPA, which is starting to make me wonder what's going on with them. I need to contact Joyce Bender and find out what happened to that as well as Marcie work that end. As far as the room is concerned, I finally moved into my place and that's been an epic battle since I've been here. Turns out the place is totally inaccessible. It's 10 inches off the ground, in the basement, it floods, there's bugs everywhere and to top it off, it's 2 miles from the Metro. But. I've managed to work most of that out. My dad built a makeshift ramp over the weekend with Julia so that fixes that problem. But they were seriously irking my nerve. I wanted them to come down and have a good time and the whole time my mom was complaining about the area, about the people, and everything in between. Granted, we did see a woman holding out her breast on the street for passersby, but still. She acts like she's never been around black folk before. It's just been a long time since she's been in that situation. Anyway, I'm here now and as long as I can make it work, it should be okay. In other news, I have to get rid of that scooter. It's just way too big. I took it to work yesterday, and that was a mistake. I couldn't get in my cubicle, or the bathroom. Not resturant or anything. It's annoying the crap out of me. But...I found a way out of that dilemma. Turns out my co-worker Mario Damiani who's also in a power wheelchair, wants my scooter to do outside ventures and in return he has a three wheel scooter that's brand new that he's never used. So it's practically an equal trade. That will be awesome to get a smaller scooter, then I could do all the sight seeing I wanted without having to worry about the size, or at least not as much. But anyway, yeah that was good. I managed to get the lights, water, and gas together, and they're turning that on tomorrow. It'll be good to cook. Then my place will be complete. Now, I just need someone to come visit...lol.
Wednesday 4 June 2008
Engage Warp Drive, Mr. Spock
You know those old Star Trek episodes where William Shatner or Patrick Stewart would lean over and tell their workers to engage the warp drive? And then that screen of all black with the fuzzy white dots would start stretching as they sped up? Well that's what my life is feeling like right now. So the Willie situation is just about over, as I've decided I don't really want to deal with her bullshit anymore, and I've decided to get my own place. It is SOOOOO amazing, like oh my God. It's got a master bedroom, living room, kitchen, bathroom, dining room (more like area) and it's 700 sq. feet for 728.00 a month. Might seem like a big jump from the 472.00 I was paying a month, but this is totally different. For one thing, it's my own place with no one else inside. Just me, myself and I. That's a huge difference. Secondly, for DC, under 800 for a place like that, is magnificent. I can't wait to get all my stuff there so I can make it my own. It's going to be really nice to be able to come home and relax and do whatever the hell I want without having anyone, anywhere tell me what or how to do it. I look forward to that immensely.
So in other news, I actually met Chris Monday night. He came over to the house and we sat and started talking and chilling out and I learned a lot about him. He has a Master's Degree in Geology and likes to make maps, which is what he does for a job. He had an ex of 8 years from Louisiana and he's cool with the foot fetish thing too. Apparently very cool with it because things got...shall we say...rather scandalous. LOL. But yeah it was good. And he left and I emailed him today we're keeping in touch.
What else...? Oh yeah. I actually got paid for once on Monday. Turns out my monthly checks are pretty damn good. Much better than I expected. 946 a month. Out of 1216, not too bad. So I did some calculations, and turns out I'll be able to pay off the school, Pembroke Place and my phone bill and still have plenty of money every month for the apartment, and putting some in the bank. I guess it's time to be sophiscated and grown in that regard, huh? Gotta have something there in case it goes wrong. But that means it will be a HOT minute before I go and cop that Playstation 3, since I just don't have the liquidity to just drop it at the moment. That'd be suicide. Which could end me on the streets. So if it's the choice between eating with an apartment in my name or playing PS3, as much as I'd love to put Sony on that pedestal, I like sleeping in a bed too much for that.
Yesterday was the huge Summit that my office has been planning for a year now, and it was wonderful. All these people were there from all these different organizations and everyone was there to experience and learn new things about disability employment. It was really quite wonderful. While I was there, I ran into Rebecca, (the super powerhouse packed into a 4-foot frame) and she introduced me to a few people that were absolutely amazing, and that has some real potential for my after ODEP work here in DC. First off, was Betty. She works as the director of the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts here in DC (which is DC's Juliard) and when I told her I had a degree in Musical Theatre, she went absolutely beserk made me promise to call and email her. She said I could some things with the company here which would be amazing. I have missed the arts terribly for about a year a half now, since I had to stop doing them to focus on my English degree. But I'm feeling the itch again and I want to do something about it. Then there was Marci (I think) and she was telling me about this disability group that runs a function for Fashion Week, and that was ALL up my alley. So definitely made sure to give her a call. And then Joyce Bender came and was practically offering me a position at her company Bender Consulting, so I just got done sending her a resume. So with all of this, who knows? Perhaps next week when I'm staying with Scherronne, (we'll get to that later) life can start looking even better than it does now, and it's getting much better by the day.
So in other news, I actually met Chris Monday night. He came over to the house and we sat and started talking and chilling out and I learned a lot about him. He has a Master's Degree in Geology and likes to make maps, which is what he does for a job. He had an ex of 8 years from Louisiana and he's cool with the foot fetish thing too. Apparently very cool with it because things got...shall we say...rather scandalous. LOL. But yeah it was good. And he left and I emailed him today we're keeping in touch.
What else...? Oh yeah. I actually got paid for once on Monday. Turns out my monthly checks are pretty damn good. Much better than I expected. 946 a month. Out of 1216, not too bad. So I did some calculations, and turns out I'll be able to pay off the school, Pembroke Place and my phone bill and still have plenty of money every month for the apartment, and putting some in the bank. I guess it's time to be sophiscated and grown in that regard, huh? Gotta have something there in case it goes wrong. But that means it will be a HOT minute before I go and cop that Playstation 3, since I just don't have the liquidity to just drop it at the moment. That'd be suicide. Which could end me on the streets. So if it's the choice between eating with an apartment in my name or playing PS3, as much as I'd love to put Sony on that pedestal, I like sleeping in a bed too much for that.
Yesterday was the huge Summit that my office has been planning for a year now, and it was wonderful. All these people were there from all these different organizations and everyone was there to experience and learn new things about disability employment. It was really quite wonderful. While I was there, I ran into Rebecca, (the super powerhouse packed into a 4-foot frame) and she introduced me to a few people that were absolutely amazing, and that has some real potential for my after ODEP work here in DC. First off, was Betty. She works as the director of the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts here in DC (which is DC's Juliard) and when I told her I had a degree in Musical Theatre, she went absolutely beserk made me promise to call and email her. She said I could some things with the company here which would be amazing. I have missed the arts terribly for about a year a half now, since I had to stop doing them to focus on my English degree. But I'm feeling the itch again and I want to do something about it. Then there was Marci (I think) and she was telling me about this disability group that runs a function for Fashion Week, and that was ALL up my alley. So definitely made sure to give her a call. And then Joyce Bender came and was practically offering me a position at her company Bender Consulting, so I just got done sending her a resume. So with all of this, who knows? Perhaps next week when I'm staying with Scherronne, (we'll get to that later) life can start looking even better than it does now, and it's getting much better by the day.
Thursday 29 May 2008
Lessons of a Fried Pork Chop
May 29, 2008 - Thursday
Lessons of a Fried Pork Chop
Current mood: bitchy
Okay so this was a seperate blog that I had to break into another piece because there was too much to digest in just one section. Yesterday while looking at the apartment that I'm considering in South East, I took a bus and a train over to the Anacostia station and ended up (finally) at the corner of 17th and Minnesota Ave. where 1411 Ridge Place is located. Getting there, I saw that the house needed some work but I could view the potential there as it had a nice little front garden, though I have yet to see the inside. That could make or break the deal for me. We'll see. Granted it is in the hood no doubt, but for a beginning house, it's not that bad. I could definitely see the potential there. And if she's truly asking for 665 for it, then that's a powerful initiative. Anyway, after viewing the house, I left there and because I was starving, I ended up at Good Hope Takeout, which serves as many places in the area of the same origin do, as a multi-hypenated resturant function. A Chinese/Soul/American/Seafood place. So I bought a fried pork chop dinner with a box of chicken wings off to the side. Since this was the kind of place that didn't have a dining area (hence "Takeout") and since I didn't want to be chowing on chicken via bus, I decided to just chill there in the parking lot and eat some of it. I got through the chicken wings (which were banging) and I finished off the tea when I was going to eat the pork chop and the rice, but I didn't feel hungry anymore after that point. So I just decided to bag up the remains and take it home.
While waiting for the bus to come, I ran into a man who was standing on the corner and after talking to him for a bit, I asked if he lived in the area. He said he was homeless, and so I was like, "Oh I get it. That's too bad." And he was mumbling about going down to the metro station to beg for some food. I was sitting there complating the entire incident when I thought about it and I wondered what it would be like if I were begging for food, and my conscious got the best of me. I offered him my plate of pork chop and rice and he took it, placing it in his backpack to eat later. However things got weirder when he asked if he could use my phone. I said yes and he called a friend of his and told him that he was going to pay him some money that he owed the next day. To me, this didn't make any sense. After he hung up, I asked him about it. I mean how can you say you're gonna pay someone some money when you supposedly can't afford to buy dinner for the night? He said that his aunt was sending him some money and it wasn't a big deal but I suddenly started feeling like I was getting played. And it was then I started thinking about the lessons of a fried pork chop.
Living here in this city, you see homeless people. A lot. And though it may sound cold to say so, all you can really do most of the time, is just pass them by and keep it moving. Granted, I'm a just graduated college student living by the skin of my teeth in this crazy city, and I can't afford to be giving you all my belongings, because I don't have much! But that's not the thing that makes me mad. I've seen people who are probably better off than me, begging on the street corner because they're bored or need something to do. Or at least those are some of the stories I hear from the paramedics and others. She told me one night they stopped to help a man who was homeless and on the way to the hospital, he asked if he could stop at an ATM and when he did he printed a bank statement stating he had over 10 million in the bank. His homeless act was truly that. Trying to get his kids to leave him alone when they thought he had money. And further still, there are others who just play the game because they don't know what it feels like and want to experience something new. This is complete and utter bullshit to me. Andrew (a totally cute new intern here) and I spent the day together going to the Career Fair and while we were out, we ran into a couple, and I was looking at them closely. One man who asked us for change was sitting in a fairly nice suit with an expensive watch on his arm begging for money. And I didn't understand that. Then when we went to Five Guys, there was a black woman who was missing a leg, who decided to stop and park her wheelchair right in front of the parking meter as people were coming in for lunch. She had her purse slung around her neck looking fairly well to do, and put the mocha latte she was sipping on from Starbucks on the ground behind her chair and she sat there not saying a word, with a cup hanging out in front of her. When a man did stop to give her something, he presented her with what looked like 40.00. She reached in her cup when he turned around, and pocketed the change ringing the cup stating it was empty. It was really annoying to see. And then a college girl chilling on her apartment decided to start shaking her cup at us when we were passing by. I wanted to cuss her out right there on the street. Just because we went to school and got degrees and you chose not to pursue a further education and sit bored on the street all damn day doesn't mean that you have the right to leach off other charity. As a person with a disability, I fight all the time against that stigma that we're worthless in the society that we don't contribute.
It just made me angry. And I'll think about that pork chop every time I see someone begging from now on.
Lessons of a Fried Pork Chop
Current mood: bitchy
Okay so this was a seperate blog that I had to break into another piece because there was too much to digest in just one section. Yesterday while looking at the apartment that I'm considering in South East, I took a bus and a train over to the Anacostia station and ended up (finally) at the corner of 17th and Minnesota Ave. where 1411 Ridge Place is located. Getting there, I saw that the house needed some work but I could view the potential there as it had a nice little front garden, though I have yet to see the inside. That could make or break the deal for me. We'll see. Granted it is in the hood no doubt, but for a beginning house, it's not that bad. I could definitely see the potential there. And if she's truly asking for 665 for it, then that's a powerful initiative. Anyway, after viewing the house, I left there and because I was starving, I ended up at Good Hope Takeout, which serves as many places in the area of the same origin do, as a multi-hypenated resturant function. A Chinese/Soul/American/Seafood place. So I bought a fried pork chop dinner with a box of chicken wings off to the side. Since this was the kind of place that didn't have a dining area (hence "Takeout") and since I didn't want to be chowing on chicken via bus, I decided to just chill there in the parking lot and eat some of it. I got through the chicken wings (which were banging) and I finished off the tea when I was going to eat the pork chop and the rice, but I didn't feel hungry anymore after that point. So I just decided to bag up the remains and take it home.
While waiting for the bus to come, I ran into a man who was standing on the corner and after talking to him for a bit, I asked if he lived in the area. He said he was homeless, and so I was like, "Oh I get it. That's too bad." And he was mumbling about going down to the metro station to beg for some food. I was sitting there complating the entire incident when I thought about it and I wondered what it would be like if I were begging for food, and my conscious got the best of me. I offered him my plate of pork chop and rice and he took it, placing it in his backpack to eat later. However things got weirder when he asked if he could use my phone. I said yes and he called a friend of his and told him that he was going to pay him some money that he owed the next day. To me, this didn't make any sense. After he hung up, I asked him about it. I mean how can you say you're gonna pay someone some money when you supposedly can't afford to buy dinner for the night? He said that his aunt was sending him some money and it wasn't a big deal but I suddenly started feeling like I was getting played. And it was then I started thinking about the lessons of a fried pork chop.
Living here in this city, you see homeless people. A lot. And though it may sound cold to say so, all you can really do most of the time, is just pass them by and keep it moving. Granted, I'm a just graduated college student living by the skin of my teeth in this crazy city, and I can't afford to be giving you all my belongings, because I don't have much! But that's not the thing that makes me mad. I've seen people who are probably better off than me, begging on the street corner because they're bored or need something to do. Or at least those are some of the stories I hear from the paramedics and others. She told me one night they stopped to help a man who was homeless and on the way to the hospital, he asked if he could stop at an ATM and when he did he printed a bank statement stating he had over 10 million in the bank. His homeless act was truly that. Trying to get his kids to leave him alone when they thought he had money. And further still, there are others who just play the game because they don't know what it feels like and want to experience something new. This is complete and utter bullshit to me. Andrew (a totally cute new intern here) and I spent the day together going to the Career Fair and while we were out, we ran into a couple, and I was looking at them closely. One man who asked us for change was sitting in a fairly nice suit with an expensive watch on his arm begging for money. And I didn't understand that. Then when we went to Five Guys, there was a black woman who was missing a leg, who decided to stop and park her wheelchair right in front of the parking meter as people were coming in for lunch. She had her purse slung around her neck looking fairly well to do, and put the mocha latte she was sipping on from Starbucks on the ground behind her chair and she sat there not saying a word, with a cup hanging out in front of her. When a man did stop to give her something, he presented her with what looked like 40.00. She reached in her cup when he turned around, and pocketed the change ringing the cup stating it was empty. It was really annoying to see. And then a college girl chilling on her apartment decided to start shaking her cup at us when we were passing by. I wanted to cuss her out right there on the street. Just because we went to school and got degrees and you chose not to pursue a further education and sit bored on the street all damn day doesn't mean that you have the right to leach off other charity. As a person with a disability, I fight all the time against that stigma that we're worthless in the society that we don't contribute.
It just made me angry. And I'll think about that pork chop every time I see someone begging from now on.
Precursor to a Much Deserved Break
This summary is not available. Please
click here to view the post.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
