I See Now Why Suicide Can Be Appealing.

This sucks. I mean really. I know that graduation is supposed to be a happy occasion, but this is turning into a nightmare. Here I have everything ready to go and I realize that I may not be able to do anything about any of it. I can’t get a job in the area because there’s no way to get there. Can’t leave the area because I don’t have a job set up. Can’t get the job because people say I’m in a wheelchair. It’s moments like this that make suicide really REALLY appealing. If the concept of reincarnation truly does exist, then dammit I want to come back as something better. Granted I could’ve been born as an invalid thereby being unconscious of a situation at hand and not caring. But no INSTEAD I get this mind and these abilities and I feel like I’ve been slammed into a brick wall that has no cracks. Whereas everyone else I’m talking to about graduation is either A) joining the Army, B) picking up a temporary side job or C) starting something permanent beforehand, I don’t have any of those options and it’s truly disturbing. God I just wish I was someone else. I really do. This is damn ridiculous. It just makes me want to kill myself to see what else I can come back as. I don’t feel like living through with this bullshit and having to put up with so many extra hardships on top of regular living that everyone else has to do. I know that mom used to tell me as a little kid that God doesn’t put on you more than you can bear, but sometimes I really have to truly question that statement. *sigh.....*

This Is Why Too Many Women Can't Be in the Kitchen.

That age old analogy that says that women can’t be in the kitchen together is very true for a lot of different reasons. I suppose it also applies to a variety of daily activities as well including well for one a particular major. Today an hour ago, I just had would I might consider as my first real trist with Katie. She’s this girl that I met back in Shakespeare class that was that kind of offish, strange but level headed chick that always knew the right things to say and could make you laugh hysterically while doing it. And so we started talking in class and we got closer and it wasn’t really until this particular semester that I started to get to know her and hang out with her a lot more. Now I’d stay we’re pretty good friends as I know a hell of a lot about her family life as she does mine and we’re pretty connected in that way. One of the things we don’t agree on is how to handle disputes in certain situations. Whereas a few weeks ago, one of our classmates brought a piece in that was questionable in regards to how true the circumstances of the story was (the class is Creative Non-Fiction and there was a ghost involved in the tale), she had a comment to make about how she really didn’t see the piece as being a non-fiction piece and how the element of the supernatural shouldn’t have been involved in it. So after class she was pissed because of how everyone in the class (or so SHE thought) was hating on her because of what she said. What Katie’s issue is, it’s not what she said, it was how she said it. Grnated I had the same criticism to make about the piece but I told Rhea (the girl that wrote it) that there were certain things in the story that didn’t flow well to me and that she should consider revising and what not. I meant of course, the ghost but I didn’t want to come out and just say in a way that the piece was invalid because of the things she wrote. However when I informed Katie of this fact, she got angry with me saying that I was citing with them and that I didn’t understand what she was trying to say. And now here we are a mere five weeks later and the script is reversed.

A girl named Emily brought in a piece today that she was passing out to everyone, and I had some what I thought was constructive and proper criticism that I felt was appropriate for her. Granted though I didn’t thoroughly read the piece through, that was exactly the problem in my eyes. I’m the kind of person where if you’re going to bring a story that’s been done before, if it’s going to be the same old love story and what not, bring it in a new way. Give me something fresh. That’s what people said about the story I wrote that one time: The Curse of a Married Man. While it starts off in the same regard as any other love story involving a triangle, I put a major twist in the works and it threw people for a total loop. That’s how I feel about works. If you’re going to do something that’s not original, then it needs to be spiced up and made into something more than just a common everday love story. Emily’s story was in a word, rather generic. It was a story about a tragic love between her and her now husband who was in a gang and dating another girl and through the pain and brokeness of their two lives (she was involved in her own abusing relationship,) together the two of them found each other and made it better. BORING! I simply told her that she needed to round out the characters in the story from the beginning and though we see a dramatic shift in the characters at the end of the tale, when I first start reading something that’s this long (we’re talking fifteen pages single spaced) I need only flip through the first two pages and I get the whole tale immediately. However what really pissed me off wasn’t what Emily said about my comment. She didn’t like them, and I’m sorry but I’m not gonna back down from my statements that I made just because she didn’t understand what I had to say. And the fact that people didn’t understand my statements or the way it came out is quite frankly ridiculous. But whatever. I only have to deal with it a few times and it’s done.

Everybody Comes To Hollywood....They Wanna Make It In the Neighborhood....

Just like the words of the fabulous Madonna song, here I am about to go to Hollywood tomorrow morning to spend the next three days in LA doing God knows what in this random place with all these people. I've finished nearly everything basically. Packing, printing out my "portfolio" for FIDM, getting a basic itinerary for the trip, and getting my camera and chip as well to take a billion pictures when I get there. As with always I have no idea how the trip is going to actually go, and I don't know what it's going to be like when I get there, or how anything will actually go. However there was a random twist yesterday in the middle of my preparation.



So I'm chilling with Efrain yesterday because he's helping me get prepared with everything I'm doing, and it's his sister Margarita's birthday as well. So we decide to go and treat her to lunch, and while we're out, I'm planning out stuff to bring, and I casually ask Efrain as we're heading to his other sister Bellina's house, "man...why can't you come with me on Wednesday?" He was like, "Man...I don't know. Maybe I can."



So we come back and check out the tickets and since the trip is like Wednesday the tickets are NOT cheap (which makes sense) but we're over the house and so Efrain decides to ask his family if they would help him pay for a plane ticket to California to go with me, and they all have this look like, "huh? Where did this request come from?" So he goes outside with his granpa to help put up a lightpole (and yes I mean one of those electric lightpoles) and comes back saying that he just gave him $500.00 out of the blue. So...Efrain's going with me!!!



Yeah...you better get jealous MySpace community! I think this place is gonna be crazy, but it will be a lot better with Efrain in it! So there WILL be pictures, bootz!!! Yeah, E!!!