Spiraling Into Madness....A Foam-At-the-Mouth-Craving for EBAY!!!!

Well well now. Quite a few updates now. Including the purchases of some truly outrageous commodities on my part. Let's see here. I've got the passport done, I've got my state license (which officially lists me as an organ donor, though I was not prepared for that question.) Quite now, I'm officially broke at the moment, meaning that nearly all my scholarship money is gone for the moment. And what did I spend it on? Random stuff really. For the most part, but then at the last minute when I get told that I might be able to take my chair to Germany, I thought about it and decided that I had to have a new chair to take to Germany since the manual I have now is definately not going to work. So I went to the wonderful virtual marketplace that doubles as Hell, and I logged onto Ebay. I found what I was looking for and after two weeks of watching like a damn hawk, I slipped in at the last five minutes and stole that bitch away from like 27 other people. I just love being malicious! So anyway, that cost me like 400 dollars, but on the plus side, it looks like a really nice sports chair and has red flashing lights in the mini-wheels! You know how I do! Gotta pimp it, hoes! Well that was that, though I had to into a serious bid-murdering rampage in the last ten seconds of that bid. Apparently a bunch of people wanted that thing really bad, but I wasn't having it. And so now I own it, and I'm just waiting for it to arrive, so I can see what the damage is. But...there's another side to this madness. And that's why I hate Ebay with a passion. Cause you're there and you bid on one item, and on your way out you see other stuff that looks so good, and the price is so low, that you've just got to bid and see if you can grab it. And that's what happened to me.

I got caught in the snare and the result was a loss of 700.00 on a brand new premium package of an Xbox 360 and Perfect Dark Zero. My mom is litterally shitting bricks at the minute cause the bank called her and informed her that a massive chunk of 1,100 dollars had evaporated from my account in a matter of minutes, and they had no idea why. And so I call her and she questions me up and down, and I tried to put it on the wheelchair, but that only accounted for 400, and she thinks I only spent 400. As long as it stays that way, I'm fine. But in truth, why did I do it? Well for one thing, my check from the school is coming in next week for 2300 dollars, which I wasn't even sure was going to arrive. And I get paid another 400 on Thursday. However, I just gotta figure out how I'm gonna put back 2000 dollars before I leave in March. My goal was to be there with 9900 like originally planned. But if that means I've got to put a hold on the trip, then so be it. Or better yet, I'll leave later and just be in London for my birthday. That's all I really wanted anyway. Who knows? I've just come to this realization that people are just getting killed left and right everyday, and hey it's always happened since the beginning of time, but now nothing and I mean NOTHING is guaranteed anymore. I could drop dead tomorrow night. And then what? Nothing! I didn't get to do anything that I wanted to! At this point, my feelings say that if I never get to go to Europe ever again, at least I got to visit all the major cities all at once. And yeah it cost me three grand, but I'll have memories for the rest of my life. However long it lasts....

The Darkness Begins

Okay well I've started down the path that will eventually lead to my happiness in Nirvana, I mean Germany. However, the first starting blocks have now decided to block my path. I was told today that I will not be able to take my power chair to Germany based off someone else's idea that I will not be to take care of it. While the point is valid, it is not none of that woman's fucking business what I do with my chair, and the point is mine and mine alone. She told me rather quickly that if I was going to take my chair there, they'd have to dismantel the chair completely and carry it over in parts in the airplane. She told me that they'd have to drain the battery acid and all of that. Which is fine, but she told me that I basically wouldn't be able to use the chair in Germany she told me that I was going to have to roll everywhere by myself and something that she called "A Human Helper Assistant." Basically she was telling me that I might not be able to travel at all. Hmm...tomorrow is the day I'm supposed to get my ID, my passport and chill with Ryan and John. But the way I feel right now, I could murder everyone, and not give a fuck about any of it. Not a good time to be awake, and now my mother is telling me to clean the kitchen. That's certainly not helping the mood. Maybe I'll feel better in the morning. Maybe not. I certainly hope so.

The Triumphant Return!!!!

Okay so it's been like nearly three months since I've written in this thing, and I figured that tonight is a perfect time to reinstate myself with the journal that I had kept so faithfully for so long. So after three months, it's time first for me to bring you up to speed.

Okay first off, I still don't have my finger fully back. The last time I wrote in this thing I had just cut it off the day before practice. Well it's been three months, and my finger has grown back at lot since then, but it certainly has not returned to normal like I had expected. I can still very sensitive things with it, but at least I can touch it now without screaming.

Second, I'm completely done with my Sophomore year at Pembroke, I left there over the Winter with 3 A's, 1 C, 2 W's, and an F. Believe me the F was not intended, but I knew it was coming. I was never a fan of Gretchen Walters. Not that I had anything against her, but I just didn't like her class. A big shock I got a W for Dr. Helgeson's class, which I kinda expected but was still shocked. I had done half the work for her class, after all. And then I got a C in Dr. Spivey's class. Not bad considering I missed like half the class and turned in no work. So not a bad semester considering. It was by far the worst I've had as far as attendance. I've never missed so much class. But ever since I went through that depression, things have never been quite the same.

In other news, I'm officially going to Germany now. School starts back tomorrow, but I will not be going because I''m going to Germany instead! Isn't that great? I'll be there till at least August, and possibly even till March of next year. I'm not sure yet. But I got it worked out and I got the check from my scholarship the other day. So everything's working to plan. Now I've got to get my passport as soon as possible, so I can move on with the process. But there's that news.

As far as now, I just got done seeing Quentin Tarantino and Eli Roth's movie "Hostel" tonight, and it was the goriest thing I've seen in a very long time. The commercial was not kidding about the insane torture scenes. I won't go into details because maybe other people's stomachs not be able to handle it, but it was very, VERY disturbing. I met Quasim's brother this evening, and I can say now that I officially have a new crush. Yeah they're from Pakistan and all that, but he is very cute, and I think he might even be gay (call it the Gaydar beeping). And he didn't seem to mind pushing me around and stuff like that. It was very nice and all. And best believe, I will be calling Quasim a bit more often even if it's not actually for Quasim himself...lol. Otherwise, I met Lindsay's new fling tonight, Rob. Unbelievably, she's turned straight, and good thing too cause he's hot! He's very cute and very nice. A very nice masculine guy. Good for her. She said they've been dating for five months and it's getting serious. I just wonder if he knows about her previous history. Perhaps and perhaps not. I've been talking with this guy Jacques online and I think he wants to get serious with me but I'm not even looking at him like that for several reasons. For one, he's 41. Not that age is bad, but I have limits. And my limit is 32. And that's pushing it. I'm just not into older guys. And to top it off, I've met up with a bunch of older friends this past week. Charlie, John, Andrew, Nick, John Smith, Kyle, and Amanda VanHuelven of all people! Can you believe it? After all this time, I ran into her again. I didn't think I would for a long time. And I guess it has been a long time, but still. But I made sure to get most people's addresses. But I've got church in a few hours. I'll be back.