Right This Moment, I'm Stoned.

Oh my God. This is sooooo fucking weird. Right now as I'm typing this, I'm completely high on marijuana and this is honestly, the first and last time I get high. This is too weird to describe. It's like in any of the movies I've ever heard. You don't chill out, it's easy to get paranoid, I don't crave munchies and the world is not cool. It's emotionally fucking crazy. For me, being high is like being in a river of time that you control. You are in the middle of the water and with a slight move from one side to the other you're in this ocean of time. It's like I'm dead center in the middle of universe and my consciousness bends around me making my vision slide forwards backwards and upside down. This is some weird stuff. I mean I don't understand what's happening at all. It started when a burning began in my chest. I'll admit I did take three really huge hits, but to be honest, I wasn't expecting anything to really happen. Then as I sat there, for what seemed like hours from the last hit, little by little things started happening. And the world started shifting. It's like those moments in tv whenever someone slices the screeen and it starts shifting slowly from one side to the other as it disconnects, that's what happening to my consciousness right now. I didn't want to get up but I figured I had to pen this down somehow and I couldn't possibly right at the moment. So I figured to MySpace it so I could look back at this fucking crazy experience right now. I smoked the stuff and as my vision keeps shifting like every moment someone comes and cuts it into two equal diagonals, I decided to move to Jerry's rug in his room. I honestly don't know what he asked me or what I answered, which is sad considering this only occured like less than an hour ago. Realizing I couldn't possibly go to Lumberton to pick up Grand Theft Auto in this state, I called Matt and told him I couldn't go because I was too stoned. I'm scared to think of what he thought of me. But I couldn't keep my consciousness still long enough to listen. And now I'm on this computer and I have too get off and sleep. I hope this goes away soon. It's not a feeling I'm liking at all and I want it to stop. I'm sorry if none of this makes sense right now my brain is quivering and stopping. Until the next time of a normal reality....

And the Shock of the Semester Is....

that apparently Big Kevin and Devin along with 7 other guys crossed Phi Mu Alpha last night and have their letters. I don't even know what to say about this other than what the fuck. Like, really. What THE fuck? Okay I can understand Kevin. He deserves it. But Devin Neeley? That shit pisses me off in ways I can't begin to describe. I'm just mad that every time it seems like I want to get over them and never think about it again, Phi Mu Alpha always seems to come back and pull some shit like this and it annoys me to no end.

As a Side Note. About Men....

I felt the need to also call attention to the fact that these last few weeks I’ve seen a shitload of hot men and I feel like it’s a curse that I have sometimes have to look at them. Take for example the other week I was in San Jose with Matt and we’re just chilling at quite literally the hottest Lumbee I’ve ever seen is bringing sweet tea to the table. He was SOOOOO hot!!!! I couldn’t help but stare and then afterwards, we’re talking and I wanted to stay in the resturant for the rest of the evening. It was so ridiculous. And then shortly following out of the blue Andrew from NASA calls me up randomly in the middle of me watching a movie. Well that was quite a shock I tell you! From out of the blue, and he just calls me and we chat about life and how things have been progressing so far. I know now that he’s married :( -which officially makes him offlimits- but I’m still happy for him. He was also extremely sexy, not because of his body or anything but specifically because of his eyes. I loved the way he looked at me and how he used to be smiling without actually smiling. It was so enigmatic and mysterious all at once! And then Friday night my roommates decided to have a party and this other guy was there he name is Chris Meecham or however you spell it and he was here with Sarah and the others because of some Air Force party or whatever. He is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO very sexy!!! Part Native American and Korean he is SEXY boots!!!!! Mmmmm if the thoughts running through my head could be put on paper....wow. But yeah he was one of those guys who was smolderingly hot without knowing it, thereby increasing the hotness over all. It was very nice talking to him and he seems to be really level and he’s a nursing major here at UNCP but it isn’t what he really wants to do. My question is why am I doomed to look at all these hot ridiculous bodies and being unable to do anything about it? It’s not even like I want to have sex with them!! Well maybe not. It wouldn’t really even be sex to them, at least!!!! lol. Okay enough.

27 DAYS AND COUNTING....

My God I can’t believe how long I’ve been keeping up with this countdown. It’s scary to think that a long time ago I had like 200 days left on it and to think that now it’s down to just below 30 days is insane. As far as updates go, there’s a few things worth mentioning. First off, I have decided to follow my mom’s advice and not think about what’s going to come after graduation. As of right now, my main focus really needs to be on this work, (and boy do I have a lot of it to do) and I keep looking at the cap and gown hung on in my closet thinking about how at the end of this month, that I’m gonna be wearing that finally after all this time and effort put in. So yeah. I’ve decided that I’m gonna stop stressing out about what to do after school is done, and I’ll deal with that road when the time comes to do something about it. It’s just easier that way, and it prevents me having to get into a bunch of issues that I know aren’t good for me. That’s probably why I got sick last week and my head hurt and stuff. Stress really is bad for you. So that’s deal one.

Deal Two: Finally some two weeks later, Katie and I finally had our talk about what was really going on between the two of us after the fight that broke out after Creative Writing class, and I told her how I really felt and how she really hurt me when she said she didn’t need me. She claims that she never recieved my text message asking her this, and I believe her because Pembroke can be really fucked up in certain places. So we talked about it, and she apologized and I did too, and everything is working it’s way back to normal. Well kind of normal since she is still working on her paper (which is something I need to do as well) so it won’t be totally right until after all of that is said and done.

So my brother finally got himself a car, which is fabulous news and I’m really glad to hear it, though I’m a little confused as to why. If he claims that he was coming with me when I go to DC, then a car would be kind of a waste since you can get everywhere there via Metro and it’s far cheaper than gasoline. Well it doesn’t matter. He’s been trying to get one for a long time now, and I’m glad he finally got it worked out where he has what he wants. Now if I only I could convince him to stay here...

Things here are coming to a close now that everything is being wrapped up and I’m beginning to wonder what the hell I’m gonna do a month from now when school is finally over and done with. On top of that, one of the world’s greatest people Ms. Lois, is dying of cancer and is terminal with only a few more weeks left. I have been meaning to call her and I really need to get around to doing so because I want to hear her voice one more time before she goes. She has always been such a great inspiration in my background and I just need her to know that. She’s part of the reason I became an English major, and I want to tell her before she dies.



I finally got a chance to see Sweeney Todd and Beowulf, and they were both pretty good, even though Sweeney is kinda hard to understand. I now know why people like to say that there’s musical theatre and then there’s Stephen Sondheim. He’s just so in another league. There’s still a few more movies that I want to pick up to see because I’ve missed out on them, but it will come in time. Since the last time I wrote here I also bit the bullet and bought a PSP for myself (as a birthday gift to me) as well as Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core, God of War: Chains of Olympus, Patapon, Silent Hill: Origins, Wipeout Pulse and Street Fighter Alpha 3. Not a bad gift, if I say so myself. On top of that Mariah and Madonna’s new albums hit the shelves this month! What else could an audiophile ask for? hehe.

Other than that, nothing more to report at this time.