The Show's Behind Schedule!

Sorry everyone, I've been so incredibly busy, that I really haven't had time to come in and write up a blog like I was supposed to. It's been about three weeks or so since I last posted one of these things up here. And I've been here continously since then, but I just haven't had the strength to put one up. and in truth, I'm not really in the mood now, but I feel that like if I don't then, things will really start to get out of control, and I won't have any record of how I got through them. As far as the summer is concerned, I went home and it was alright, but I could have done without. But I was glad to be there for Shon's birthday, if nothing else. In truth, I wish I could have gone with Jessica, but I know for a fact that she had a lot of unneccessary drama going on, and I knew that if I was going down there, it was going to be hell on earth. But anyway, I had fights with my mother, I solved them and got in more fights. But in the end, I came back and discovered that I might not be able to come back here anymore. Apparently, the Cashier's section of the school was unaware of the deal that Bruce and I were working out, and she isn't too happy about it. But if I don't bring the balance down, she won't let me come back. And that means, I'll most likely end up taking that job with Disney if they come back around this semester. Which at this rate, I'm not sure that their going to, cause I haven't seen any of the flyers that were around this time last year.

In other news, I keep looking at this hurricane Katrina, and I'm amazed at how nieve everyone has become. When it first hit Florida like four days ago, it was category one, and no one took it seriously at all. And overnight this bitch has quadrupled in size to a very rare category 5 hurricane, the strongest in the list. It seemed in the beginning that no one was taking her seriously, so she tripped out and went ballistic, and now everyone is losing their hair, and they have good reason. It seems that she's on her way to completely destroy the city of New Orleans, which is already under sea level, and the whole city is a bowl. So it seems that Louisana is completely fucked over. Likewise, I feel that I'm about to do the same. I've been dealing with a couple of people who don't think that I'm serious when I mention something to them, or rather yet what I don't say to them. And they've been irking my nerves for the past week, (twice I've had leave the room to keep from completely blowing my top), and I feel that if they continue doing what they're doing, I'm going to literally explode and say somethings, that I really don't want to. Like about how I don't feel like I really belong with them in the first place, and how I'm so surprised that people who suddenly decided to jump into the mix within a week have been completely integrated into their society. But me, who've been hanging with them for nearly two years now, and they don't pay me a second's glance. It's true, that I don't share the same passions as they do, but if that's true, then don't turn around and ask me for favors and things for you, when you try to sweet talk me because you think I'm a valuable asset. Cause the day will come when I'll just up and leave, and then there's not much you can say after I'm gone.

As far as classes go, I'm in the them, but I don't want to be. I think I seriously am gonna take the job if they offer it to me again, because I can feel school starting to wear down on me. It feels like everytime I turn around I've got a paper due, or I've got some assignments that I've got to turn in, and now I'm beginning to understand why people don't go to summer school. If you have the summer to calm the fuck down and breathe for a moment, then you don't feel like everything is overwhelming you completely. And on top of that, summer school is mad expensive. If I hadn't have been there over the last two years, then I wouldn't have an extra six thousand to pay to the school, which is leaving me nothing in which to get for myself, when everyone is going to get a refund check. So the fat check that I thought I was going to get worth somewhere around 2,000 to 2,300 dollars, might not come to me at all. But hey, that's the story of my life. And if for some reason, I can't come back because of financial problems, life will go on because it has to, and I'll just have to come back at another time.

I met a couple of new people over a week period as well as a few friends form the summer that came back. John and Majik, and Grace, and Tobias just to name a few. They all seem like a good group, though a misguided bunch at times. Last night I didn't get to bed till 6:30 in the morning cause I stayed up and entertained John and his group of friends for like six hours, and then on my home, I met Majik, and we talked for another hour or two. On the way back, I ran into CJ, and we went to my room and danced around for a minute, as my mother interrupted the conversation calling me at 6:16 yesterday telling me that she had a dream and she didn't like what she saw, so she called. I was curious as to what she was talking about, but I didn't press the issue, but in truth, I didn't want to know what she was going to say. I had no clue, but I'd rather not know.

And then I realized today that someone that I had looked up to earlier had a very serious injury and now it looked like he's crushed completely. I feel so bad for him. It's the equivalent of me like getting a temporary case of like bronchitis, and not being able to sing. And it pains me to see the look on his face when he mentions it to me, but there's nothing I can do help. But you know what? Something that's even more painful is the fact that I can't say anything that I want to to him. And at this rate, it wouldn't do anything. But I've had the words in my mouth for months now. I've rehearsed the imaginary conversation in my head, and I always hear negative responses every single time I try to prepose it to myself. So I guess I'll never make the imaginary into reality.

And in other news, I'm supposed to be going out on a date with this chick on Thursday, but I don't know if I should. She asked me if I was gay or bi, and I told her no because it's the truth. She asked me why I act this way, and I didn't want to go into the problem, so I told her that we would discuss it another time. But the more I think about it, I don't know if I should say anything to her, or even if I should continue to go out to dinner on Thursday. I asked Majik what he thought about it, and he didn't say much on the subject, (and I also met his elusive girlfriend Grace) and seemed rather shady on the subject, so I didn't press the issue. But the mroe I think about it, I don't know what it is that I'm supposed to say. So I'm wondering if whether or not I should just break off the engagement.

Tommorow is the first audition for my show, and I'm going to see just what I' m working with, and see just how my show is going to shape up. I'm hoping that I get a large turnout this year, but in truth, perhaps not because it eliminates the need for such a large and dramatic cut out scene. So we'll just have to see.

Till the next time,

D.



So Comes the Season Finale....

And so, it is the middle of the last week of summer, and it is almost time to start the cycle once more. The last three days have been full of a certain closure, one way or another as it marked the exit of the HCOP/COP kids, many of whom I've shared an interest in. And then the almost end to the ludacris class of Microeconomics, (to which I am not unhappy to say goodbye to) and to a certain someone I came to like. There's still quite a few possibilities making their entrance this fall (aka Tucker, Julian, and John), and the possibilities are still all near zero, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy the possible mind sequences they produce! I finally finished with another piece of drama and most likely seperated two people apart for good, though I'm sure that wasn't the original intention. After discovering that they felt as though I ran behind the scenes, I decided to end the connection, to which it worked gloriously, and I don't think I'll b feeling the reprocussions anytime in the near future.

Jessica came this weekend, and I helped her move out of her apartment. The original plans included me traveling with her to Orlando, but that was quickly changed as I realized the extent of the drama I'd be getting myself into. So I had to end that web as well (though not nearly as permanent as the first two), and it will probably resort in me spending another miserable week at home. But I suppose I can live with that, being that Thanksgiving is a hell of a long way away. And I do have the prospect of a new computer to look forward to, (maybe) with both fingers crossed. I just have three days left. Till I'm done with this shit...it can't come fast enough.