3 Truths and a Wedding

Well this weekend certainly has been just a big ole ball of ups and down now hasn't it? It's so funny because when I think about what I THOUGHT it was gonna look like, and what it turned into, reality is so vastly different from the truth.

Where to start? So. I met this guy the other day. I don't even know how to go into this because it's still really twisted and whatnot, but let's just suffice to say that we'd been talking for a few days and I was really liking the persona of the person and was looking forward to meeting him in person. I met him, and I was happy. He was pretty much what he seemed to be, although it's always weird. Whenever I'm dealing with people in the health industry (whether it's doctors, nurses, therapists, etc. and at this point I've dealt with all three AND EMS personnel) I always am on my guard because things always get weird around them. The doctor wanted to have bareback sex with a stack of condoms lying untouched nearby (didn't happen.) The nurse got all freaked out when he offered me a massage because my legs were smaller and less muscle-y (it's not a word, I KNOW) than he expected. But it's weird. People ask the stupidest questions sometimes. I remember one I got from a guy I was seeing for a few weeks, when he asked me one time when we were going to have sex,
"So like, why is your body all shaped that way?" well....let's see dumbass. You try crawling around for 20+ years and see what it does to your body. And it's not even out of choice. It's just a much easier way to get around because quite frankly, people's houses are usually not accessible, which would severely limit where I could go, and what I could do.

But anyway, I digress. I met the guy we had a good conversation that lasted some cray 8 hours. That's gotta be a good sign right? I thought so. Usually a good step. Means you enjoy the company of the people you're with and you don't think they're boring or embody the spirit of a tea candle. That being said, I knew something was up when I was texting playfully to make sure nothing happened and got the curt response, "I'm good. Going to bed. Nite." And this isn't the first time I get cut off, so I'm like whatever. The next day? Nothing. Which I knew in advance because of events that were planned but we'd usually spoken everyday for at least five seconds. Nothing. Nodda. So Sunday, I text. Nothing. I Facebook and practically get told off.

Now what's funny about this situation is that he has repeatedly told me that he refuses to date people below a certain age for whatever reason, and I kept thinking it had something to do with mentality or  the fact that they can't relate or whatever. I didn't even consider for a moment that some people apparently want someone who is at a certain status coming in from gate one. Now I'll be the first to admit that life certainly has not gone according to plan for me. Yes, I finished school got my degrees, and did everything I was supposed to do, but I ended up having to swim and keep my head above water for close to three years. Now that everything is falling into place, I can finally start slowly to rebuild my life the way I intend for it to be from now on. That doesn't mean I'm there. Nowhere close. I don't even have a fucking bedframe yet. I'm working on it, but no, I don't have one. Or a trashcan. My money goes where it's needed most. Rent. Utilities. Groceries. In that order. I think that he may have thought I was something else when he came over.

Which leads to me to the first truth. Did I fuck up? Yes. I got way too comfortable with a total stranger when i shouldn't have, and it may have cost me. He's a fun guy, but clearly he had ideas about what needed to be going on beforehand and when they didn't met his expectations, he started questioning them. I don't know if I'm going to hear from him again or not, but if I spend more time thinking about it, I'll get mad at myself again and I don't wanna do that.

The second truth: I should have prioritized and bought a fucking heater. That WILL be purchase numero UNO. I forgot what November in DC is really like.

and the third truth: I went to a wedding tonight. The highly anticipated union of John Fazakerly and John Jowers, which I guess means there's a hyphen in there somewhere now, haha. It was really really nice. Of course, when John F is coordinating, something tells me he was BRIDEZILLA for sure, but it turns out really great. The ceremony was really touching, and it got me to thinking about what may or may not be for me one day. Do I ever see myself down an aisle? Yes. Soon? At this rate, nope. I'll be married one time and that's it. But I did realize something. I really have gotten to the point where I don't like crowds. I really don't. I'm not a fan of loud music, or a lot of bodies in a small space. In the past, it really didn't bother me, and I could just roll around and make small talk with whomever. Granted, this was back in college, and I knew a lot of the people there, and could find a reason to talk with them. These days? I don't have anything to talk about with strangers. It just feels awkward and forced. Which makes me feel awkward, and I'm not used to feeling that way. I don't really like it, but I much prefer quiet and intimate social gatherings with less than 10 people. Granted, this month is really not the time to be griping about it, as I have no less than THREE Thanksgivings to attend, but still.

Well onto tomorrow, the last day of my very long extended vacation. What will I do to celebrate? Probably get as much sleep as humanly possible. I know I'm going to miss that part. Oh, and ARTPOP came out. 8.5/10. I'm in love with the first half of the CD, the second half will have to grow on me. But I love Gaga for being Gaga. She gives me everything.